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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-04-05 08:22 PM

Today, I feel the pain of worry
for the first time in years.
It's an illness that has crept up on me again,
causing the outer world to be walled off
at least for a time, leaving me the typed word,
in an otherwise silent atmosphere.

Often I talk myself into owning control
but this time even the warmth of hands
to stroke the knots, has failed and the tension
from outside has entered and left me stretched,
the tautness causing the butterflies
of anxiousness to take over.

It's an agitation, a swelling, that
leaves me in suspense, never knowing
when or how this body will react
and always making me feel that I am allergic to myself.
I have bared my soul, shared others' needs
sometimes living on the edge, but always willing
to be there.

Today, the ache is too great, the steady pain
overwhelming, blocking my words of desire,
keeping me from feeling the passion that my eyes
view, an emotion that brings me pleasure and releases
the part of me that believes, that in tomorrow
I see my future.

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (04-05-2003 08:24 PM).]

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

1 posted 2003-04-05 08:26 PM

Oooh, I have felt this way too many times to count. You have written about this "pain" very well dear poetess. I hope this feeling leaves you soon & that all will be well. hugs, Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2003-04-05 08:29 PM

I can't recall who it was on here that has the same illness I have... it has decided to come out of remission and "toy" wth me for
awhile...so I may be around a bit more in the next few days.

Thanks Chris
hugsss
M

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 2003-04-05 08:29 PM

There are times that those who care need to be cared for. I wish I could be there for you...

At least I'm here

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

4 posted 2003-04-05 08:33 PM

You are so sweet *s. I was doing so good too and even behaving myself.

See it doesn't pay to be "good".

hugss back
M

Startime55
Member Elite

since 2003-04-05

Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada

5 posted 2003-04-05 08:52 PM

**BIG HUGS** I share your pain through your words for your talent makes the pain as real to me as if it was me....Take care....I pray that tomorrow the sun will shine in your heart and take away the pain...

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

6 posted 2003-04-05 10:29 PM

Oh Maureen, I am so sorry! I wish there was something I could do to help you.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2003-04-06 03:40 PM

thanks Karen and Sue, hopefully it is temporary
hugss
M

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