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Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2003-03-28 06:34 AM

Reasons for Yucatan

Mothers are mercurial people…
one is never quite sure
what makes them
or keeps them
but they are quicksilver in motion
until they become
leaden in resolve
staying where their bed
has been made.

Konrad’s emotions were
all over board, and over the board
as he went through ship’s logs
finding his mother’s name
in records that weren’t destroyed
in fires, anarchism or mold.

He could only figure
she had found reasons for escape
then in some quandary
returned to the panhandle
to Jake, and Iambe…
perhaps she had fulfilled a promise
to herself, but she had gone back
to him…

And then some months later, bore
Him, and then Dillon nine months later.

He was given the name Konrad,
his mother never realizing it would set
teeth to grit in jeer in Jake’s mouth,
or why Iambe would wander
in her despise,
that Dillon would hold closer to Konrad
than the others, or why Jake would care
to steal Dillon’s love from him.

But here, amid ghosts of gray,
sheets of papier mache spirits
were speaking,
revealing reasons…

Konrad sat the steps of the Hall of Records
watching sunset stream crimson-gold
in red-blue rivulets
as waves of crane and flamingo
sheeted skies in quilt of walls, feeling
the needles pull through
pieces of dreams that their mother
had wrapped them in

and he bowed his head
in hidden scream
of places unseamed
in that quilted dream
for if he could and only would ~
he might keep them
from this found fantasy.

It had to be fantasy.
Konrad waited….some ghost
of yesterday would call
on him, soon…

and he would look into the eyes
of the man who gave him his
eyes, but not his name.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-03-28 07:28 AM

This:

"Mothers are mercurial people…
one is never quite sure
what makes them
or keeps them
but they are quicksilver in motion
until they become
leaden in resolve
staying where their bed
has been made."

can stand alone. A more than lovely intro to this, delicious explain of relationship/family dynamic. (and? reminded me very much of 'Bridges of Madison County' when the mother explained, "Sometimes a woman remains still, so that her children can go forward."

This followed by verses of imagery depicting mood, tone and attitude, indirectly, but pointedly, to be followed up with this:

"and he would look into the eyes
of the man who gave him his
eyes, but not his name."

Made me sigh with an ache, but satisfaction.
The stuff of myths and hero's journey.

and? this helped clear up dim witted me on the geneology slant too.

Enjoyed much.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-03-28 08:00 AM

Mothers are mercurial people…
one is never quite sure
what makes them
or keeps them
but they are quicksilver in motion
until they become
leaden in resolve
staying where their bed
has been made.
=======================================
He was given the name Konrad,
his mother never realizing it would set
teeth to grit in jeer in Jake’s mouth,
or why Iambe would wander
in her despise,
that Dillon would hold closer to Konrad
than the others, or why Jake would care
to steal Dillon’s love from him.

But here, amid ghosts of gray,
sheets of papier mache spirits
were speaking,
revealing reasons

Konrad sat the steps of the Hall of Records
watching sunset stream crimson-gold
in red-blue rivulets
as waves of crane and flamingo
sheeted skies in quilt of walls, feeling
the needles pull through
pieces of dreams that their mother
had wrapped them in
===============================

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did YOU have for breakfast????
Send me some PLEEEEEEEZE!!!!

You are taking this places that are cooler than I have words for...
the imagery alone kicked my mothy butt this morn..but its the undercurrents of things to come flowing thru this and the very cool and clever use of personifi and metaphor analogy that is the real star of this show....

that first verse will prove my point for me...WOWSWERS!!

and now lets talk about the sunset imagery and metaphor in this verse....
watching sunset stream crimson-gold
in red-blue rivulets
as waves of crane and flamingo
sheeted skies in quilt of walls, feeling
the needles pull through
pieces of dreams that their mother
had wrapped them in

again I say...WOWSERS....

Now go read your email for the reply I cant say here LOL

"and when we get to the pearly gates ...
we'll find what we called our sins were just mistakes."

Tom Kimmel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

3 posted 2003-03-28 08:03 AM

OH....there IS just ONE little change I would wish to make..........

Moths are mercurial people…
one is never quite sure
what makes them
or keeps them
but they are quicksilver in motion
until they become
leaden in resolve
staying where their bed
has been made.
===============================

roflmao

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

4 posted 2003-03-28 08:40 AM

"It had to be fantasy.
Konrad waited….some ghost
of yesterday would call
on him, soon…

and he would look into the eyes
of the man who gave him his
eyes, but not his name."

Yes..this one..I should have looked first thing this morning.

And also...what Serenity said...the words spoken by the mother in Bridges..yes.

Well done attached at the hip-sis. Well done indeed.

~Hugs and good morning to you!~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2003-03-28 04:53 PM

Interesting...James

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

6 posted 2003-03-28 05:25 PM

and he bowed his head
in hidden scream
of places unseamed
in that quilted dream

Karilea - what can I say? Amazing. Chris

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
that perches in the soul....

-Emily Dickinson

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2003-03-28 07:32 PM

Karilea~

'Mothers are mercurial people…'

One small/enormous thought ... so true~
Brought it all together in poetic-ink ... yes, you did~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

8 posted 2003-04-08 07:34 AM

yes... you now weave together the strings that tied him in a tenuos way to all..

nicely done "K"... the story unfolds and the hints as well as the path becomes a bit more clear.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

9 posted 2003-04-08 08:49 AM

WOW Karilea... this to me is one of your best. Absolutely love it... the imagery alone is absolutely smashing!

adding this to my library.

Maree

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