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Open Poetry #25
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Writing In My Sleep
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Writing In My Sleep |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Be still this damned voice That whispers first in an innocent entice To just visit once the places it would have you go Just a moments time Just a simple rhyme Of what is felt inside Of all those who've died It is in turn of tone from soft To shrewish cackled laugh That ears bleed with each punctured word Until I would be deaf indeed Rather than sense the tone Of go Why does it not sing? Why do I… Not know the words? |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"Be still this damned voice"  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"Why does it not sing? Why do I… Not know the words?" For me, sometimes I don't know the words because I am too busy covering my ears to really hear...because it may hurt. Susan |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Perhaps it was meant to remain... instrumental...? -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Sometimes...we must be still...and really listen. Well done Captain Ron. ~Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
I had a third grade teacher that had long scraggly black hair, a wart on her nose, was really mean and had the ruler to smack hands, etc. and I swear she cackled...the voice was terrifying Didn't have nightmares as a child, but she was a living nightmare to everyone in that class. I could not control her...real FEAR, (of dying I would suppose)... Does this relate to your poem? I don't know, this is what it made me think of. But I just reread this and need to come back for each word in your poems count...needs to be thought out... Interesting write, Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-25-2003 11:19 AM).] |
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Miah Senior Member
since 2002-08-26
Posts 1062Pennsylvania |
I hate when my mind goes a mile a minute when all I want to do is sleep. I guess you just let it come.... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Okay, here's another take. He/she doesn't hear it because he/she is going to heaven, not hell! Since I rarely interpret poems as poet intended, I am settling on this. It suits me fine... Really interesting. Thought provoking. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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pearl6884 Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 72California coast |
Stream of consciousness can sometimes be awful when all you want is for your mind to rest...That's why I do yoga |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat, Good thought, good write, good read. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful expression! I enjoyed this! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'It is in turn of tone from soft To shrewish cackled laugh That ears bleed with each punctured word Until I would be deaf indeed Rather than sense the tone Of go' The aura gives a warning, it's a matter of finding 'the switch'. |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Be still this voice indeed. I've found the voice incessant and unable to be silenced. Enjoyed the write of this.  |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Dreamlike, this. Like a fragment here, then gone! Cor |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
"That ears bleed with each punctured word Until I would be deaf indeed" ~*~ Ok, I've sat here five minutes trying to figure out what to say... and I still haven't figured it out... I think we needed a rendered speechless smilie... going to go place my order with Kit now... |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Cpat Hair - said this myself a few times, nice write... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Poets never sleep...they dream...remember this! (sigh) And through the dreaming there certainly is a gloaming, unfamiliar but recognizable! This is so well-said, dearest friend, love your thoughts, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt. Ron, I was told by my late husband... "just be quiet and let your mind rest". This would be in bed when he was trying to go to sleep, and my mind was racing with thoughts running around in my head....and I was trying to explain my feelings. I never bothered, though, to tell him that I couldn't sleep because of all those thoughts and feelings. Most of those fears turned out to be true, by the way. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
so you're having trouble finding that still small voice...what you have is a loud, disturbing one keeping you awake? Well, you have the curse of the verse, I guess. Your thoughts beg to be emblazened upon cyber paper for someone out there to see. Keep listening, the words are there, recognition will come, surely. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Why does it not sing? Why do I… Not know the words? ========================= like I just told Dunc.... moth motto #2 ... why ask why.................. and besides...trust me poet sir.... you KNOW the words...and I, for one... am damn glad I get to read them. "and when we get to the pearly gates ... |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
C, all night long I dreamed this poem..and I thought I would remember it by morning but all that came out was what I posted today and the first line of the sleep poem, erased itself by wake up time. I should have forced myself to write it down in the middle of the night. *S M |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Even though it seems you can't make silence to grasp those nightly whispers .... they nonetheless have been poured into your heart and sooner or later they will surface .... piercing the noise of disturbing voices. Enjoyed your poem. Love, Margherita |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
From the first line, this touched a chord... it resonates with sadness... even as I appreciate the excellence of the write. *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
no one writes like you my friend....always enjoy your work....always |
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