The Dance (A Poetic Vignette)

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WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

0 posted 2003-03-24 11:46 PM

The Dance (A Poetic Vignette)

1.  Begin Softly, Ease Your Audience Into the Dance

I smile warmly into the eyes of love.
Grandmamma kisses me, and I huddle under the covers.
The soft pillow nurtures my sleepy head
As her familiar touch caresses my arm.
I'm fragile,
But I'm protected,
And I fall peacefully to sleep.

2.  Lift Your arms Gracefully Above You, Reaching for the Sky

I imagine myself to be a princess,
Throned and pampered in a castle upon a hill.
And then I pretend to be an orphan,
Small and dramatic in a world I made myself.
Giggles erupt from my insides,
Tossing me to the ground.
It is a sweet happiness that brings and breaks
My fall.
I laugh lying content in the grass.
Worry is a far away thought.

3.  Cross One Foot Over The Other (Be Careful Not To Trip!)

For the first time
I start to wonder about this place
And life's carefree charm is interrupted.
I question if my friends are real,
I frustrate myself-
Where do I belong?
These new troubles confuse me,
But I don't cry;
I talk and I confide because there is someone to hear me.
Grandmamma listens, but best of all
She understands.
Her words are full of empathy and comfort.
It is winter and I wish that it were fall.
I crave new beginnings.

My heart falls to the floor and shatters...
I cut my fingers on the glass.
My tears mingle with the fresh blood
As I stare blindly at her death
And my mind evaporates.

5.  Crouch Down and Make Yourself Small, Tuck Your Head Under Your Knee

I hug my body closely
And my red eyes
See black.
Something moslests my struggling heart
And I can't tell just what it is
But something is missing.
My muscles fall limp
As I sprawl my tired body across the floor.
This time, I wallow in my confusion
And I cry.
She is not there to talk to
And to confide in.
There is no one there to listen,
Because she is gone.

6. Relax Your Muscles and Let the Music Overwhelm You

Here,
I miss her.
I yearn for the love we had
And for the life we lived.
It is cold
And I shiver in her absence.
There is a blanket fallen at my feet,
But I reject a cheap imitation of her warmth.
I weep in remembrance and in rage.
She sits silently nearby,
Invisible,
To watch.

7.  Swivel Your Body in a Half-Turn and Look Behind You

As laughter begins to entice me back into it's world,
Memories stall my smiles in mid grin.
Silence recedes and color reenters,
Slightly.
I can't forget her kisses,
And my hammer falls weakly to the ground.
I reminisce through my mind's photographs.
Snapshots of smiles,
And tears,
Race through my head.
I try not to look,
It hurts too much.

8.  Pick a Dramatic Pose You Like and Freeze in that Position, Wait for
Applause

I put on a happy face for my friends.
I laugh with them half-heartedly
Because only half my heart remains.
My barren insides sting,
And cower without the love that illuminated
Their suddenly dark and musty chambers.
I work so hard not to succumb to the darkness
That I wear myself out.
I close my eyes,
And I fall.

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

1 posted 2003-03-25 12:12 PM

This is so incredible. How well you captured that love and that loss.
Very well written.

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-03-25 12:30 PM

that's quite a dance, a piroutte, many twists and turns within and without love's embrace

the depth of this shall require more than one read, dear poet

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

3 posted 2003-03-25 12:48 PM

I imagine myself to be a princess,
Throned and pampered in a castle upon a hill.
"And then I pretend to be an orphan,
Small and dramatic in a world I made myself.
Giggles erupt from my insides,
Tossing me to the ground.
It is a sweet happiness that brings and breaks
My fall.
I laugh lying content in the grass.
Worry is a far away thought."

pearl6884
Member

since 2003-03-23

Posts 72
California coast

4 posted 2003-03-25 12:51 PM

Extremely good metaphoric use. *applause* from me...

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2003-03-25 12:54 PM

You weep words and touch me with the fall. Hugs to you...I miss you too.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-03-25 01:21 AM

This is an amazing write. You took the
reader right with you into your thoughts
and feelings of the poem. So much of the love
and loss for the Grandmother was shown.

I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Hugs,
Ethel

NavySEAL
Junior Member

since 2003-03-21

Posts 17

7 posted 2003-03-25 01:27 AM

Wow. Amazing. You wrote this well. Painted a picture in my mind.

"The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday"
--U.S. Navy SEALs

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2003-03-25 02:19 AM

I actually FELT this part:

My heart falls to the floor and shatters...
I cut my fingers on the glass.
My tears mingle with the fresh blood
As I stare blindly at her death
And my mind evaporates.

intense and quite amazing - like nothing I have read here - bringing me in there with you for a spell - just wrenching . . . xxoo

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

9 posted 2003-03-25 08:30 AM

As laughter begins to entice me back into it's world,
Memories stall my smiles in mid grin.
Silence recedes and color reenters,
Slightly.
I can't forget her kisses,
And my hammer falls weakly to the ground.
I reminisce through my mind's photographs.
Snapshots of smiles,
And tears,
Race through my head.
I try not to look,
It hurts too much.
tis indeed is well done...and in its form..quite compelling...

I enjoyed

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

10 posted 2003-03-25 08:59 AM

Thanks to all of you....your kind words me alot to me.

Hugs Marti...Capt...and to all.

DeaDiAmore

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