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Open Poetry #25
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A Chance Encounter?
| Open Poetry #25 |
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A Chance Encounter? |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Clothing spoke Before he did. Yet the core of him Woke me, A cancelled candle, Flamed my senses And Shined me shivery With His mad dash In front of me, Blocked my path Almost touched my arm. I, blinded by the sheen Of his beige silk shirt Loosely flowing, Proud to be open-necked On his hairy chest. Docker-like designed, Brown trousers, But, of linen lineage, Belted waist Hung with creased Awareness Of my arousal. Their master Casing my mind, Asking: "Where's the nearest car wash?" While his faint Frangrance of Fine, And, his soul scent Aromatically, Penetrated mine, And, Brought me back from Instantaneous Near lung collapse I sucked in breath Begged brain Not to allow me To faint on him! One of life's little jokes? For, there was I, Hair wild, no make-up, Baggy, long denim shirt Over old, too snug Five button Levi's The top button Not buttonable Slippered, not shoed My own mad dash Hoping not to be seen by anyone Important Milk, bread and $10 on #2, please I tilted my head at him, Away from this dream Refused to speak, And shrugged him off Like I don't talk to Beautiful, strange men, Don't you know? Reluctantly, I felt his hesitation, I did, really, I did, He wanted me To speak to him, yet I let him Walk Out of my life. Forever, he is indelibly Rubbed raw on my mind I, convinced, A definite ~knowing~ Who he was, But, More or Less, Just not meant to be. . . . ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Patricia L.Thompson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Oh my, I'm fanning myself over here. This is so HOT, I don't know, was it meant to be, or is it just me? Cause, oh my, I can see him in my minds eye, and I think I'm melting over here.  This has such a sweet and naughty feel.  [This message has been edited by WhiteRose (03-24-2003 10:52 PM).] |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
White Rose, Anne(?).... Grinning here...no, it's not just you. It's alittle warm. Sweet and naughty works. Glad you liked and could see him for I wasn't sure just the shirt and trousers would capture him. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-25-2003 06:07 AM).] |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
i fell in love with the drummer, i fell in love with the drummer, i fell in love with the checkout guy, .mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i am one dirty old broad, how come i get axed for hotstuff? others dont? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Pat - good God this is quite amazing! Ahhhh - so many times a flash of life long gone - I was there with you lol - have been many times and it is usually at that time when you are not ready that Mr. Right pops by - this is amazing xxoo |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Pat...you took me on your trip to wonderful..and then we both fell. Love this! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh my! Oh yes Pat! You did this so well.. took us there..with you..and he..he was/is so, so...sexy.. and it's as hot as a summer's day here. Loved seeing this side of you.  You write this side very well.. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Michele, Grinning at your reply. Thanks. Littlewing, (Sue?)...LOL, at you! Yes, Mr. Right, at the wrong time. Glad you could relate. Martie, How nice to know I wrote it well enough to make you feel it with me. Thanks for the "Love this" Nancy, Thank you! I really wasn't sure that I got my point across...but, I see I did. Glad you like...smiling here... Hugs and thanks to all of you for taking the time to read and reply. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-24-2003 11:18 PM).] |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
am I supposed to be grinning like I am?! Its a good thing I'm young, and thinking about my Steven, otherwise I'd feel guilty here! Very descriptive, you brought me there! And don't worry, its better I'm sure, that the scene is all thats left in your head. Otherwise the perfection would have to end and it would be ending more painfully. whew, quite good! Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Pat, I'm grinning here too. this was WAY HOTTTTTT!!!!!! I like this side of your writing, too, lady. I want to get more into it, (with my writing) but kind of scared to on here. LOL But, this is very good, friend. Hugs, Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-25-2003 12:55 AM).] |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
A very efficient description of senses being instantly set on flame ..... and if he was a poet too? A discreet investigation maybe? Love, Margherita |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...reminded me of some situations...James |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Alyssa, This scene all that's left in my head, but what about my heart? Smiles, glad you liked. Ethel, Is it THAT HOT? Na! Didn't mean it to be. Was it the hairy chest or the word 'arousal' (a cheap shot, I agree) Scared of what?.... Glad you liked, by all means write a little steam into your love poems though I think they are fine as is. Margherita, Huh? "And if he was a poet, too?" Whoa, that would be sizzling. What's more, having him right in my own neighborhood would definitely cause me many more trips to that store-gas station, and surely I'd comb my hair first and dress decently. Think he was from out of town though. Drats! Thanks James, I suspect it has happened to all of us, just not very often to me.....must be why it's so memorable...Thanks for reading and your reply. Hugs to all of you, I appreciate your time. Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nicely done Pat... very nice indeed. well told, enough detail to build a character that people couldsee, and no wasted words... very good... |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Cpat, Built a character that people could see. Thank you for letting me know that. It is important coming from you, who's been so willing to help. I realize others saw him, too, and they clearly forgot to mention her, whom I thought was just as noticible, tsk!, grinning here. Again, thank you for the kind words, and help along the way. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
who said I was talking about him? She is well defined and described..and as the central figure one that gives insight into the poem. He... is candy...LOL. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
This is GOOD!!!! LOVED IT!!!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
He's just candy, huh? Now that's very provacative to this poetess, but I'd have to move this to mature if I cap on that. LOL,...grins and yes, but it's funny how no one else noticed her, except you...could be because most of the rest replying were women? I know I sure have a sweet tooth... thanks... Just Bleu, I thank you for taking the time to read and reply and glad you like this. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
LOL.. a sweet tooth huh? well when I said candy.. I perhaps should have said he was window dressing for the real central part of this piece...the piece is about the woman..and the thoughts, the insights, the emotions as well as the insecurities revealed are hers.. not his. He becomes a catlyst for the exploration..and while you could easily explore the sweet tooth in mature... those would be about the woman too and how it was she felt or saw or experienced...so "he" still becomes window dressing or a prop to tell her story. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Pat - Yes! Oh yes....I remember such a moment..hmmm.. You have penned this very well dear poetess. Kept me interested from the title to the end. Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
PHEW! This made it hot, hot, hot and it's only about 40° here! Now this shows a side of you that I don't think I've seen before and this old gal loved it! Huggles, Marti Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Cpat, I appreciate your more indepth comments and I see her reactions, senses, observations created the image of him, not just his clothing did it... AND of her, and her characteristics. All of what you said above will help me when I read others poetry. I knew that with my last comment...but I wonder if others could describe her without rereading? For whatever it is worth this was a real encounter. Exaggerated, perhaps, I didn't almost faint...but, he stuck out like a sore thumb, and did get in my face, so to speak...determined to speak to me...tho. others were around he could have asked...and I thought of him, after...more quizically, than romantically, yet clearly did have an effect on me) ...main reason for mentioning this is I seem to write better from experience...not always...but.....haven't written enough total to tell...just my observation about my writing... interesting, and ever learning, thank you so much ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-25-2003 10:30 AM).] |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Chris, Thanks for reading and I must have captured what many of us have experienced one time or another... Glad you could relate...Hugs, Pat Marti, Didn't really mean to make it this HOT!...just wanted to draw attention to the experience...sorta, grinning, I had fun envisioning how she'd feel and he'd look...tho. actually he did look like that and so did she..(me) mostly...not quite that bad... Writing is wonderful for making changes is as easy as adding descriptive words. One of my interests in writing is developing the ability to write (describe, without too many words) characters, so this is part of the why I wrote this... Thanks to both of you, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
"Where's the nearest car wash?" (say what) While his faint Frangrance of Fine, And, his soul scent Aromatically, Penetrated mine, And, and, and, and.... Run me through this again would you, or better yet let it just wash all over me just because it feels so right... where I've been. You're so clever and so down to earth. Love this and that about you Pat~ Warm hugs~ |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
A very hot write, indeed. |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Lori, Grinning here again, for I did not make up the part of the car wash,that really happened and exactly what he said. But, clearly he must have needed his car washed...by the description of her.... Loved your reply. Thanks, hugs Pat SmartChick, Thank you for reading and replying. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, I do love this, regards! *G* I'll admit that I missed most of the heat on my first read... for I was busy laughing, knowing just what it's like to have the perfect opportunity presented at the exact moment I want to crawl into the nearest corner, bitterly regretting my decision to "just dash to the store." LOL Why is it we're noticed just when we're praying to escape attention? LOL On the other hand... if he sees the worst and is still interested... he isn't blind or he wouldn't be driving... and we could sure use more with such vision. *G* |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Southern, Yes, crawl into the nearest corner, so right. You never fail to make me laugh out loud. That was in fact, the original point of writing this, not the ~heat~...plus, trying to write characters; that they can be plainly seen without a ten page poem. What I didn't bring through very well was his entire ~presence~...not a large man, but bigger than life... I simply have to suppose he really was from out of town and needed to know where to have his car washed... but, yes wouldn't that kind of vision be splendid...and, that is exactly what it would take! Thank you for commenting, it means much. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
love this...imaginative, yet honest...haven't we all been there? I have written a few of 'these' *jelly smiles as she remembers*...but not half as well as you did this oh and I would have dittoed suthern *nods* she just loves it when I do *nods again* but I didn't miss the heat on the first read thru......lol...since I live in the artic zone these days(where makeup is not needed nor missed, and there are no good looking men wanting to wash their cars...*shrug*) the heat was very welcome...*grinning* just love this pat.....thanks for the smile and the great read [This message has been edited by jellybeans (03-28-2003 05:45 PM).] |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
JB, Thank you for the smile and the great reply. Huh! That I ever write half as well as you, is a goal for certain. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Pat~ This sizzles BRILLIANTLY ! Oh my ... I've been there ... difference being ... ain't NO WAY I was gonna let him get away !!!!!!!!  Yep ! ... and it was GOOD !!! Lasted for two and a half years !  In my mind, I can replay the scene ... but try as I might, I can't bring it to life in writing as you've done. Soooooo, there are times when I appear lost in a smiling stupor ... with people asking, "Marge ? Marge ? ... Where ARE you ?" Ya' done GOOD girlie girl~ Have a great Sunday ... take that car on over to the car wash ! *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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