Open Poetry #25 |
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The bleed |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
The bleed is complete even the night is satisfied and I am simply bored with the color red The stone bows in reverence to a futile heart, finally recognized say goodbye love I’ve long overstayed my welcome |
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© Copyright 2003 Duncan - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Get your behind back in here man...we're not letting you go anyplace! Good read... tight, concise... full of...passion. |
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Brad Majors![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
nicely done! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I have to be totally honest with you, I do not think I fully understand your words, but they certainly are poetic! (Have you been feeling unappreciated in a relationship and now you are moving on?) Peace & Light, EA |
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Midnitesun![]()
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
this page is blue so we know we can keep you here ![]() |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sometimes there is no other way |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
First of all....tis been waaay too long since ya posted one of these....dont make the moth wait so long .. yayay ![]() Now............ The bleed is complete even the night is satisfied =================== could that opening line be any cooler??? damn I love the impact of that... the imagery and the personify too!! and I am simply bored with the color red ================== love the statement this makes and the image... as to the red? ... well.. thats why we return to the blue.... as in pretty blue flame ![]() The stone bows in reverence to a futile heart, finally recognized say goodbye love I’ve long overstayed my welcome =============== I LOVE the stone reference and image.... and the whole essence of your ending...the whole poetic phrasing of this...it has such a classic, melancholy, tragic pen and quill quality to it... I think its one of your best...one of your most "deep and layered writes...succinct on the surface..but its in underlying emotions open doors to places deep. You've been taking your poetry to a higher level for several months now....Im enjoying the ride and the view ![]() |
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Robert Frazier Senior Member
since 2003-02-06
Posts 1014 |
powerful! so few words, so much told...it cuts deep! Rf |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(smiling)... what JM said.... and... like the tone set in reference to the images presented.. it is in some ways a bit open ended for the reader to draw from it..what or who you are saying goodbye to.. making it an easy piece ot read layers into. On the surface..a lovers lament of sorts..final realization of the end..of the fact no more is to be bled..even the lust of night is satisfied... and the regret.. with perhaps a hint of self blame... very nicely done Duncan... very nice indeed. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Duncan This sounds bitter...could feel cold through the words...a painful writing. I hope your goodbye takes you past this to a place with better heat and lighting. ![]() |
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Krystopher Morris Member
since 2002-11-11
Posts 130Ancient land called Chivalry |
We hear goodbye alot these days...Why not say Hello instead? I get a sense of giving up from this poem...Not sure if thats whats you tried for or not...Either way it's wonderful in many aspects! Thanks tons for sharing! Poetry is love and love is life. |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Duncan, I've was wondering if you were planning on leaving us, too. then, I read that you're "bored with the color red", and I thought about these pages being blue, like someone else said. Don't tell us bue. Okay?? ![]() Heart Hugs, ![]() Ethel (psssttttt!! You made a big impact with just a few words, didn't you??? LOL Very good, friend) |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
How well you drop the stone into the lake...and then the waves carry on to all points. I enjoy your style, and write... Sadness for the futility at the end. TD |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This was painful to read, but I understand the sense of satisfaction when there is nothing left to bleed. I'm right behind you Duncan~ |
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Etain Member
since 2003-02-22
Posts 92The moon... |
Behind a goodbye rests a new welcome. Sad but filled with longing. Warm greetings, Etain. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Duncan - I have bled many times myself and yes - despite the pain - it does become quite tedious . . . still I bleed but with new blood - may you rise . . . xxoo |
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Bridget Shenachie Senior Member
since 2002-01-23
Posts 1056Kansas USA |
Must be cured when the pain is more boring than agonizing. Like Wilde said, "Suffering is one long moment." Great write! Shenachie [This message has been edited by Bridget Shenachie (03-25-2003 02:07 AM).] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
PoetFriendDuncan, it's a pleasure to read your poetry and I wish2compliment you on this exquisite write... Smiles2u *~coco~* |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
Though the bleeding may have been consistant and thorough, the coagulation of your words inspire pensive contemplation. -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
damn... ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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catalinamoon![]()
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Well, Duncan, apparently it has all been said. Just let me add my compliments. And hope you are not too sad. Sandra |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Duncan - know these feelings only too well my friend, glad I stopped by to read this one... BC |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
We go through agonies thinking we can make things right, find the joy we lost ever so unintentionally... if only we do this, had done that... just put the hoops out there and we'll start jumping. But sometimes, there is no bandaid, no solution... and we know we have to just let go This brief but powerful poem touched me deeply, Duncan... excellent work! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Duncan Bottom fishing again, LOL enjoyed. |
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Learninginlife New Member
since 2003-03-13
Posts 9Mississippi |
Wow great job |
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