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Open Poetry #25
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For Connie
| Open Poetry #25 |
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For Connie |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Author's note: Connie is not someone I know well, but a friend. She is 40 or 50ish, attractive, intelligent and very well paid in her work. Some men are just tough to figure...or just asses. I read a poem by a woman role playing a man. This is my attempt to see through a woman's eyes. The people are real. For Connie Getting off the highway, I followed our neighborhood roads to home delighted to be off work early ”Hmmm” I thought, “maybe chicken and dumplings for supper.” “He likes that”. I looked at the neat homes, giving silent thanks for our good fortune. Our neighbors were friends Their kid’s friends of our kids. I stopped at our mailbox For I would beat him home But the box was empty “Hmmm” I thought, “He’s early too” I grinned with a leer. I glanced in the review mirror smiling I was lucky, time had been very kind to me He was about to lower the back door Of his Escalade Full of suitcases. “She is younger and prettier” he said. “She doesn’t sag or droop” he said. “I want that physical perfection” he said. I walk the floors of my home. Shallow is when you can lie in short grass And no one can see you. Through rubble and trouble and dark of night The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light [This message has been edited by kayjay (03-23-2003 10:17 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ken Julkowski - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Expletive.... and Ouch. You did good... and free verse!!!!!! You're spreading your wings.... good! |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Thank you very much, Karilea, please see my editing in the opening. KJ Really loved your "Abby" Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ken, this is very good from a woman's point of view.....and happening so very often, I'm sure. It's very sad, but she will bounce back, because she is a strong woman, it sounds like And some day she will find a man who appreciates her in every way.. Thank you for this......  Heart Hugs, Ethel (Oh, thanks for your rhyming rictameter. You know that I loved it!!) [This message has been edited by garysgirl (03-23-2003 10:26 AM).] |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Thanks, Ethel, for your kind comments. I do feel that Connie will emerge, she's a strong gal. I'm glad you chuckled at my rictameter. I'd never heard of one and as you know, I can't stopping rhyming. I put another one in my thanks for your post there. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You took up the challenge of role reversal, and did a good job stepping into a woman's high heels...and yes, sir, some men are just mules... or their equivalent... while others? Are  s |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"Shallow is when you can lie in short grass And no one can see you." Fantastic write Ken from the woman's point of view! Good to see you trying various forms and styles of writing. I stand in awe of you poet sir. As far as Connie's hopefully now 'ex'.. I wouldn't even waste my words on him!  Well done m'friend!  ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
That ending is such a kick in the pants. ouch! I'd like to see that man wearing those dumplings...dripping with chicken fat. He is already cooked chicken.  a very good write! |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Dearest E and friendly "sun" I thank you for your words Tis true, tis true that some folks are Simply hummongous T..... Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
kayjay... "Shallow is when you can lie in short grass And no one can see you." What a perfect ending and statement...well done female point of view...even though it angered me, which is proof of how real it seemed. |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Thank you, Martie, for your comment and reaction. I telescoped events somewhat for dramatic effect, but the strenth of her character and the shallowness of his (and those are about his words) screamed at me too. (Yes, I do like that last line. *S*) Ken J Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Ken, this is so very touching, sweet friend, I believe every man should have a little bit of the feminine spirit in them and not be ashamed to share it as there is grace in such beauty! (sigh) God Bless You, sweet friend, you captivate the spirit of the woman so well, I love it, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ken, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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