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Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

0 posted 2003-03-18 05:28 PM

Blue Tones

She’s singing in a voice that tastes
of Johnny Walker Black.
The tenor sax starts pledging love,
and then gets lost in scat.

How can she sing this ache I feel
and make it come out sweet?
How can a trumpet generate
this sweaty body heat?

Somewhere up front a drunk calls out,
he wants another beer;
there’s playful shrieks and giggles
from a table in the rear.

But I don’t mind the crowd at all,
or smell the drifting smoke,
the cigarettes and cheap perfume
so thick you almost choke.

I’m caught up in the voice, the horns,
my world is drenched in sound.
There’s nothing but blue tones and me
when jazz comes raining down.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

[This message has been edited by Pilgrimage (03-19-2003 09:43 AM).]

GG
Member Elite

since 2002-12-03

Posts 3532
Lost in thought

1 posted 2003-03-18 05:43 PM

ah yes, you've brought me there, I can smell it, hear it, see it, I can taste this its so full.
My only critique? click that little submit button, so I can click the vote one.
*closes her eyes to listen to the music* wonderful!

Always, Alyssa

- And so it was that time stood still -
(blink, breathe, stand, fight)

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

2 posted 2003-03-18 05:43 PM

ah yes... very nicely done and captures a bit of the feel of listening..the experience and how it captures you... reminds me of one I did... long time ago... still love jazz..and still love blues... you reminded me I need to listen again.

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

3 posted 2003-03-18 05:58 PM

"I’m caught up in the voice, the horns,
my world is drenched in sound.
There’s nothing but blue tones and me
when jazz comes raining down."

Ahhhhh, I'm a music fan and ultimately
a fan of poetry that is musically
inspired! This is so jazzy blue
and so cool. *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2003-03-18 06:02 PM

Loved the beat of the music--and your meter as well! This was a total experience in surround sound! A pleasure to read!

Warm hugs,
EA
P.S. Check out the limerick I wrote for you in response to your reply to my poem "In the Hills of Tipperary".

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-03-18 06:32 PM

Oh yes, I love jazz, too........

Anybody want to sing??

Hugs,
Ethel

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-03-18 06:33 PM

I like some jazz. I really liked your description of it. Great write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite

since 1999-09-05

Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

7 posted 2003-03-18 07:08 PM

Pilgrimage,
If you don't mind my saying so, this is one hell of a write! Caught that smokin' atmosphere, the tones, the keys, the bass.
Me, I gotta tell ya dear, I'm to another place!
Doc

P.S.
Couldn't help but notice your meter is off in the first and second stanzas, according to the ballad form you use in the rest of the poem.
Picky, picky. I still love your "Jazz"
Doc

[This message has been edited by Dr.Moose1 (03-18-2003 07:25 PM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

8 posted 2003-03-18 08:28 PM

Pilgrimage - nice job - reminded me of Lady Day herself xxoo

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

9 posted 2003-03-18 08:34 PM

Nan,

Terrific imagery. My favorite music.

Enjoyed greatly,

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Eromyna
Member

since 2002-11-29

Posts 306
Pheonix, AZ, USA

10 posted 2003-03-18 08:37 PM

Wonderful.

"I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation."

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

11 posted 2003-03-18 10:16 PM

Thanks, guys, you're too kind. And Dr Moose, I know I'm off meter. Sigh. I worked on this three days, and should probably have worked three weeks if it took it, to get the meter right, but I didn't. Slap my own face and say, "Sloppy!"

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

12 posted 2003-03-19 05:10 AM

I didn't know jazz rains, but I did know jazz reigns.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

13 posted 2003-03-19 09:40 AM

Keth,

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

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