[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-14-2003 02:24 PM).]

Ruth,

Thank you for taking your time to read and for your reply which captures exactly my meaning.

This poem is meant to be applied to any or all kinds of relationships. I was indeed blessed in early teens, for God gave to me my best friend who is this attuned to me. She is extraordinary and had NEVER not been there for me. What's more, nothing I say alters her love for me. The topping on that cake is that she and I also are so compatible in sense of humor sometimes in only takes the tone of our voices to burst out laughing.

I so appreciate you responding today.
It means a great deal.

Thank you, Hugs, Pat

Sy,

Yes, amen and thank you

Linda,

May you have a glorious day. We have rain, wind and fog...but it is still wonderful....tho I have to go out in it shortly...It is a great day whenever you respond to my poetry.
Thank for so much for your comments.

Cpat Ron,

Yes, regarding those connections. Rare, I think...but there, in time, if I practice what I preach....which I don't always do for reasons not related to this poem...

I am glad you enjoyed and thanks for the very nice....

NOW...

Thank you most of all for the couple of thoughts. You are absolutely right.
To date, when I write, I do not start out with a conscious thought of: [this is what I want to say/accomplish with this poem] But, I DID REMEMBER what you suggested the last time, after the fact.

There is a definite separation from above the [AND] and the bottom of the poem.

I struggled and struggled trying to tie them together and opted for the [and] knowing it still didn't work.

Ultimately, after I had all the lines, I didn't want to give up any of them.
And did not know how to restructure, or structure them for a smooth transition.

It is almost like two poems, or perhaps should have been, adding to each instead of trying to pull them together.

So, everything you said does make sense and you spotted my problem.

Clearly I am at a point in writing that it is time to learn to 'clean it up, first'. This is not an excuse, but a reason: I was NOT totally convinced that I could write even half-way decent poetry. And that is why I kept and keep posting to see if perhaps some can relate.  Well, I see now I can.

I thank you so much for your patience of seemingly repeating yourself and showing me how this could be better.
But, that is exactly what I need.
I am so grateful you take the time.

Probably won't try to fix this, as I am running hours late already re: what I am supposed to be doing today vs. what I am doing....

Any other thoughts from you would be kindly appreciated. Please don't think I'm not hearing you. I am. I need to take the time to think first. Or, what I have not done is just hold a poem for a few days and go back to it. Especially when I myself, know there is something wrong.  

I will be going out soon, (ugh) so may not see your reply, if any...

Hugs to you for your help and thank you so much.  Pat

sorry for the long answer....and time it took to get back here...

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Ethel,

How sweet of you. Regarding a 'man' in my life, read Nan's (hope that is how she refers to herself    reply re: God...because that is right on!
And, Ethel, I believe He bridges some gaps for some of us, who have the real 'need' and that in itself is such a gift of love...I don't expect more, nor am I in a position give equally, that of which I'd want my man to receive...make sense?...We, you and I  are each blessed in different ways....Hugs. Inbetween shower and curling hair, but wanted to take a minute to get back to you and Nan..
Glad to see you back online...


Nan,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, it is two poems. I loved what you said.
In case you wondered, I asked Ron long ago to help me, and he does, very patiently, I might add...another blessing... grin, and thank YOU for your time..and your comments...great!

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Ron,

Yes! I can see clearly how [as] you and pour[ing] ....[as] porcelain...
works so well.

I can only grin remembering how I struggled with this, probably a good half an hour, trying different lines and words, but could not 'get it'....

I am going to change this now before it is too late to edit, if you don't mind. Again, wonder if I wait after writing and go back to it later, if that might help me. I am taking notes re: your suggestions. Focusing on action might have jump started my brain, but am not too sure about that.

Again, thank so much for your input and teaching.  Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
        "Desiderata"

Ron,

Driving home today I remembered what part of that mental block was; I wonder if "pour me out porcelain" was used in someone's poem. When it came into my mind, "see through me" wrote itself, and I kept putting the idea aside of did I read the procelain or make it up, because the rest of lines were writing themselves, quickly sorta. Not sure I'd have come up with the obvious better choice, I wanted to use "Pour me out porcelain" without consideration I needed to change it. It was as if written in stone, and that was there, I, determined to 'write around it'...
I was being stubborn, cause I liked it and didn't want to let it go....wierd, huh? So I need to lighten up a bit....
  
Thanks for the additional thoughts.
Yes it is logical and it is needed and wanted insight for me. Thanks,  


Michele,

It has been changed for the better.
Glad you liked it. Thank for your time and comments.

Lori,

Thank you, I agree the way love is meant to be  

Dixie,

Glad you love this. You make me grin.

BlueEyes,

Sorry don't know your name yet but I am glad you took the time to read and reply. Thanks so much for the beautiful.

Hugs to all of you, Pat  

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-15-2003 10:50 AM).]

Noah,

Thanks for your comments. When I began writing this and decided to use the words: [needy] and [weak], I could feel the fur on my back bristling....thus:[layered lair]...
What I mean is when I allow self to admit need/weak, denial jumps up, and I retreat to my hidey-hole..so I had to do some quick simple-psych on myself before I could finish this...to figure out why those words caused that reaction, even now, at my age...makes us so vulnerable to others...Since I am now my own best parent, (even at my age) I can protect that almost destroyed little girl within...so therefore I figured others would probably recognize these feelings and relate. Glad you liked this.

Elan,

Thank you. I stand amazed that someone with his knowledge and talent and probably lack of time, would be so humble, first, and, then to bother to help.

He has been a wonderful teacher in filling in the (my) blanks of poetry writing, tho. it is taking me considerable time to incorporate what he has taught...hopefully, in time...  Thank you for your time in reading and your reply.

There is another poet, Ed (Ratleader) who has offered a breakdown in how he wrote a poem: "Fading". His thread is in CA #2, under post name: Writing Fading. It is wonderful to me, a novice writer and everyone who wants to write better poetry should read it.

Informative with techniques of writing which I copied but as yet not time to study the way I want to.

Again thanks, Pat  
Alyssa,

Good to see you. Yes, soooo much to read. Smiles. Glad you liked this. I agree with your assessment, re: God.

Hugs to all of you, Thank You, Pat  

[This message has been edited by regards2you (03-15-2003 11:11 AM).]

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
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Inspired by Karilea's 'They Are Gone...but held gently' to come back in and read one of the finest poets it's been my pleasure to read on this site~

Having read your continuing talent at another site ... you reaffirm my knowledge that you are worth remembering~

Holding you in prayerful vigil, my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

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