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Open Poetry #25
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Landscaped Grief
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Landscaped Grief |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
These hills rise in age worn tumble Smoothed gash of grumbling water Wore away the edges of yesterday Taking a bit of height to fall Bottom jumbled Then trees In crooked rooted ways Spread crevices deeper still Reach…. In reach To sky and subterranean With two ends finger spread And held together Disparate elements Until clouds so piled heavy Brought streaking touch of fire And hills in scream of thunder Echoed cries ENOUGH! Let it rain and I cried for all the sins of shame gouged upon this my opened pain until in recede of day I found there is but one way Love ..................................... T.S. Eliot (1888–1965). Poems. 1920. 10. Whispers of Immortality WEBSTER was much possessed by death And saw the skull beneath the skin; And breastless creatures under ground Leaned backward with a lipless grin. Daffodil bulbs instead of balls 5 Stared from the sockets of the eyes! He knew that thought clings round dead limbs Tightening its lusts and luxuries. Donne, I suppose, was such another Who found no substitute for sense, 10 To seize and clutch and penetrate; Expert beyond experience, He knew the anguish of the marrow The ague of the skeleton; No contact possible to flesh 15 Allayed the fever of the bone. . . . . . Grishkin is nice: her Russian eye Is underlined for emphasis; Uncorseted, her friendly bust Gives promise of pneumatic bliss. 20 The couched Brazilian jaguar Compels the scampering marmoset With subtle effluence of cat; Grishkin has a maisonette; The sleek Brazilian jaguar 25 Does not in its arboreal gloom Distil so rank a feline smell As Grishkin in a drawing-room. And even the Abstract Entities Circumambulate her charm; 30 But our lot crawls between dry ribs To keep our metaphysics warm [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (03-12-2003 06:09 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...no words... just feeling... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...This read like feeling, not words...so well illustrated by metaphor. One of your best! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine... perhaps then the words should have been left in my cellar with the others..lol... emotion and feeling yes... an attempt to capture grief... Martie... you dear one.. flatter me.. thanks to both of you.. the nice words are appreciated.. |
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Albert J. Allie Senior Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 512Queens NY |
WOW!! ~SIGH~ |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
why sir the sigh? the Wow..is appreciated..butat the expense of some discomfort or unsettling on your part it seems. Perhaps too strongly worded here...and needs to be toned down? |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Can't help but mention the imagery of the tree roots - two ends finger spread, among many other pictures you've created here. ....the scream of thunder and grief work so well. I never know how real or current the emotions in a poem might be to the poet so I try to tread tenderly..yes, you captured grief...and I am still thinking about the ending... Hugs, Pat  ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. "Desiderata" [This message has been edited by regards2you (03-12-2003 06:55 PM).] |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Ron .."..smooth gash of grumbling water.." Excellent, as always. Bob |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Pat... glad you found the images if not pleasing at least powerful enough... the grief... sometimes I think we carry it inside us..always...and it bubbles to the surface now and then no matter what we do... but we go on..and we live... and if we hope to heal..we love... no need to be tender on this write...it is just a visit to the things felt at times and an attempt to capture the what and how it feels... Bob!! Good to see you my friend... you are kind in your praise..thank you.. Hope you are around for a while.. have missed your wonderful words and the style so uniquely yours. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing write Ron! A gut wrenching outpouring of grief. Does not need toning down..this is perfect! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thank Nancy... your words always are appreciated |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
now I wish it would rain down..... I think this is so amazing, and I could feel every line....you have a talent...sincerely! heart hugs..... Lauren~ Take me where the tides start |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
  (big hugggssssssss) And everything will go on spontaneous combustion like this unless we strive for peace instead of war....NOW!!! (sad sigh) This is very powerful, dearest friend, there are no words to further speak of this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." Shakira [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (03-13-2003 12:04 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I dont know which is more impressive...the imagery,the emplpy of metaphor and personifi or the depth of emotion both are use to express...ya had me from the very very cool title. |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
"and I cried for all the sins of shame gouged upon this my opened pain until in recede of day I found there is but one way Love" ------------------ This is one I wish I had written---couldn't agree with you more--enjoyed!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
love is the only thing that saves us...h |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
You move us with your words..inspire us with your talent.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
ah, yes, Sandpiper cling to the same section, it is a soothing balm, a hope, a promise Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Yes!!! Nice write here |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"and I cried for all the sins of shame gouged upon this my opened pain until in recede of day I found there is but one way" Oh my god! I can not tell you what those words envoke! Powerful, I can almost visualize you shouting them at no one in particular. Beautiful. Susan |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Capt. Ron, your response to Pat's reply really touched me. You said...... "the grief...sometimes I think we carry it inside us..always...and it bubbles to the surface now and then no matter what we do...but we go on..and we live...and if we hope to heal..we love....no need to be tender on this write...it is just a visit to the things felt at times and an attempt to capture the what and how it feels..." Ron, as you always do, you captured the "what and how it feels", very, very well. You are an amazing writer, Sir. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Heart Hugs, Ethel |
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