Open Poetry #25 |
A Minutes Wink |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
A Minute Winks This wing of morning creeps across the nape of grass onto the path with a piece of sun that warms this small slice of cement where I stand feeling its fingers of sweet breath across the cheek of miles as a minute winks past ignoring my need to hold it longer [This message has been edited by Martie (03-09-2003 02:45 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
this is great. you really use the form to your advantage - ending with "longer." -majnu |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Nice how I could get the whole feeling out of this - you really express it so well. And I agree, the form is great. the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Martie, Yes, so true. If time could just stand still sometimes. Liked the line arrangement of this. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what a way with words! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
This wing of morning creeps across the nape of grass ======================= where I stand feeling its fingers of sweet breath across the cheek of miles as a minute winks past ignoring my need to hold it longer ========================= how can you pack so much imagery and personification in such tight, succinct, exact poetry and make it flow like an ocean breeze... must be cuz you are a poet of exception. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Yes! Perfect! I've felt that way about almost every minute, this morning.... And you've captured the feeling so beautifully. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautiful words... Beautiful presentation.... Beautiful poestess Martie! ~Smiles & Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Awwwwwwww, I wish I could be that still and just cradle the wind like a baby in the palm of my hand, yay! (kiss on cheek) I just love your imagery, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
I like! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Such a beautiful expression, Martie! Lovely! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You rock... and this was almost a rictameter! I enjoyed...the imagery, so YOU [This message has been edited by Sunshine (03-09-2003 05:14 PM).] |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Perfect Martie!! hugs, Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
you truly are a poet of exception Martie - this is just great - Paul |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I love this, Martie! *S* Thank you for capturing and sharing that elusive moment. *S* |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nicely done my friend... nice indeed. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
there are some seconds..minutes, I wish I could just hang on to also. So beautiful. Always, Alyssa - And so it was that time stood still - |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
You have such a wonderful way about you Martie. It is beyond me how you manage to capture a fleeting moment so perfectly. Thank you for sharing the moment~ |
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Sandpiper Senior Member
since 2002-06-15
Posts 738land of flora and fauna |
Enjoyed this exquisite photograph in words!! "And it was at that age...Poetry arrived in search of me...And something started in my soul." |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Are second comments allowed? I just read this again after several days, and I love the depth and sweetness of it even more than before. You captured a gentle moment full of meaning, and gave it to us to share. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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