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From the Abyss
| Open Poetry #25 |
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From the Abyss |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion 
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From the Abyss He speaks in the thick, drowning language of underwater tongues, gurgling, heavily frilled vibratos, sonar of submerged sea grottos, from murky, oceanic floors where shrunken polystyrene cups coexist with viperfish, umbrellamouth gulpers, and tubeworms. Sand ripples in black rhythm, swaying mostly eaten, bloated bodies, never found bodies. He speaks in an undertow of words, reaches with feelers of wispy flesh - a pull of longing, a whaler’s song. He rolls along with empty shells, clacking bones and sunken wrecks. © 2003 Core [This message has been edited by Corinne (03-08-2003 11:14 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Corinne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Fantastic! Wow the imagery here just blows me away... I wish I could do that! Great read... love it! the only man worth your tears will never make you cry |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Oh, my gawd! Your vividly descriptive writing sent shivers up and down my spine and goosebumps to rise upon my flesh! May that heinous creature be forever entombed in the abyss! Warm hugs--Extra warm hugs--I think you need them! It must have chilled you to the bone just writing about that vile creature of the deep!...my timbers are still shivering! ~ Sweet dreams! At least I hope they will be sweet! I'm not so sure about mine now! EA |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
loved it [This message has been edited by Aenimal (03-08-2003 01:44 PM).] |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Corinne - has to be one of your best writes, I like this... BC |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Oh my, Cor! I want to write this, not like this, But? THIS. Exactly as you wrote it. Reading it will have to suffice though. And? It SHOULD be submitted for the book. I insist! Ed |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Nice use of sea monsters and metaphors~ Impressive poetry Corinne~ *applause* |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh my Corinne!!! This is fantastic! Much enjoyed the eerie feel to this! ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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garysgirl  
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
OOOHHH, this was scary feeling, Core. I'm glad that I wasn't reading it while I was at the beach........  "Love makes the world go around" |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Now that was writing! Excellent poem. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Corinne...this is amazing... I've read it four times now... I'm glad it will reach "the Book"... [This message has been edited by Sunshine (03-08-2003 03:53 PM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Oh Corinne, this is marvelous, sweet friend, this too sent a shiver up my spine as I'd hate to be in that kind of experience as the sea can be such a mysterious place! (big hugggssssss) Arrrrr...I love this, methinks I wish I could put more than one vote on this, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Corinne, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Needs a bump! |
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DarkSide_Blues Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 41Fl, Usa. |
Oooh...for some reason I kept hearing that jaws music when I read through it. o,o;;..spooky. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
 |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
No monsters lurking in THIS sea... well maybe just a few little ones  Loved this piece |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
He? Very well done.... and as usual...I enjoyed. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Vivid portrait you've painted... this is excellent! *S* |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
I can viualize everything you wrote. This is a very exelant write! Good work  Read ^ there, because you are reading the wrong part! |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you all very kindly! Cor |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ed, thank you! I edited it to include submission at your insistance! Cor |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
I reckon I should vote then. |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
"He speaks in the thick, drowning language of underwater tongues, gurgling, heavily frilled vibratos, sonar of submerged sea grottos," I can hear it too. Your descriptions are outstanding! *s When you think you have heard it all, |
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j0n4th4n Member
since 2003-03-11
Posts 94 |
excellent! you are truly a poet! |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Geez, Cor hon, now you KNOW I love the sea. How could I not love this one...very gentle smile |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you all!!! Corinne |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Seawreck and seawrack. I love this poem. |
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Thomas119gold Senior Member
since 2002-06-03
Posts 708Biloxi, MS (city by the sea) |
I love the words and how they connect when read by me. Great job |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
This is amazing, Happy to add my vote. Jason |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Certainly another excellent write my friend. ThisDiamond |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you very kindly! Cor |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Thank you kindly! Corinne |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Could we have a whole book of you?...  |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
This gave me odd gory images of drowned fishermen.... floating in the deep dank dark... ok... vote.  Park |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
It must certainly be very scary to go down that deep into the abyss to experience such a strange environment and to experience so many strange and most peculiar creatures and I think that you captured the feelings of this very well with your writing. Good job. -Bob |
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