Open Poetry #25 |
Normal Again (for now) |
Chloey Member
since 2002-09-29
Posts 74in a silver mustang convertible |
It happened so fast I didnt see it sneaking They came up behind I was helpless in defense I stuggled and fought to get free But it was no us he had hold of me I yelled and screamed And fought to get away But it was pointless There was no way No way in hell he was lettin go I had the worst time of my life It's hard to let go Let go of these feelings That hurt me so much I am paranoid around people Even to the slightest touch Just a tap or a noise It freaks me out I go crazy and whip around I holler so loud they freak out Im so tired of this feeling Deep inside I want it to go Go far away and stay there forever So I can be....Normal again ~*I think this is a lil weird it rhymes in places(it aint supposed to rhyme) cuz i couldn't think of other things to say,lemme know what you think and what a good title would be*~ ~*P.S. this isnt about me it's about a person who experienced this that is a good friends of mine!) I write what I feel and I feel what I write. |
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© Copyright 2003 Chloey Jane - All Rights Reserved | |||
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Powerful poem. Although I have never experienced anything quite as devastating as this I do know what it is like to have nagging emotional fallout. It's brutal and your portrayal of it here is very accurate. I dunno about an appropriate title. I believe that writers should let their titles come to them either during(or after) the creative process of writing the piece, or before the writing, as a means of declaring what it is that the given writer is setting out to do. Continue the brave work of capturing the brutal truth and chaining it to paper[or to the web ]! "If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
Hey, As far as the poem goes, good, very scary though,but good , I liked the no rhyme thing!!!!!! A title should be thought up by the author, not the reader. Personally thats how I feel, because each title is special in some way or another and ties in with you and the poem alike. Ok now I'm getting weird!!! Great job Mandi... Riley Morning mist clings to my face, and my soul opens up to you...... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(big hugggsssssss) Oh Chloey, I think in the company of strangers anyone can feel nervous or paranoid at times, I too feel claustrophobic being there and my heart sends angel hugs to your friend! (sigh) This is powerful, sweet friend, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Chloey, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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SexyCowgirl19 Junior Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 24Colorado, USA |
Chloey this is a great poem, keep writing and keep up the good work. Emma ~Sexy Cowgirl~ |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Chloey, I thought that you were writing of your own experiences until I read that it was about someone else. I wouldn't have known that, because it sounded so real. "Love makes the world go around" |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Nice writing on a subject I am sure so many can relate to, and I too have felt "anxiety" in a room full of people once in a while. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Very good write...enjoyed. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I enjoyed your poem. One way to let go of those feelings is to write them out - the more you do, the less painful they become. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
a power-packed write of a social issue which should hence be in the book, for the possibility that it may educate readers about date rape |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
....don't think feeling normal every full returns.... hope it does... |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
It appeared to me as though you got into the skin of your friend extremely well! Warm hugs, Earth Angel |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Normal, what's normal? A very nice write, enjoyed the read. |
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