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Mollie963
Junior Member

since 2003-02-12

Posts 14

0 posted 2003-02-16 01:56 PM

I think of you
And a smile appears on my face
An image of all you've come to mean to me
Dances in a deep intimate wave

The intense ocean of love
The promise of a deep sea breathing
A tide coming in
Never receding

A new morning born
of a magical essence
Our light grows brighter
As a new dawning day arises

The soft glow of the moon
Transforms soft heavenly shadows
On a blossoming love
Into a song gentle stars chorus

The raident sun goes up
The quiet moon rises
Both beautiful together in the sky
With no disguise

I know the secrets of the river
I am moved by the song of the night
I touch the sun of dawn
I stay near you,as your love is my light

Now I know how it feels
I know you see me
There I am with you
Where the river reaches the sea...

[This message has been edited by Mollie963 (02-16-2003 07:05 PM).]

Mollie963
Junior Member

since 2003-02-12

Posts 14

1 posted 2003-02-16 02:19 PM

I'm new to the forum and fairly new to poem writing. I love to write however, and would any suggestions or comments are certainly welcome.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

2 posted 2003-02-16 02:58 PM

Mollie,
I love the line I know the secrets of the river. Do you mind if I steal it?
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2003-02-16 06:13 PM

(smiles) Awwwwwwwwww, this is soooooooo gorgeous, sweet friend, I love it! Just the thought of a lovers kiss kissing the sea of my heart makes me smile, this is precious, may true love always make you feel happy, yay, you have my vote on this, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Mollie, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

regards2you
Member Elite

since 2002-10-01

Posts 3940
California

4 posted 2003-02-16 09:46 PM

Molly, ~Welcome to Passions~

FYI: If you have not been informed there is a poetry workshop in this site.

I like this poem a lot. I think it quite pretty.

I like this line:

"I stay near you as your love is my light."

Hugs, Pat

..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons..
"Desiderata"

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

5 posted 2003-02-16 10:33 PM

awww, i love it. it sounds so magical.....aww, it's beautiful.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

6 posted 2003-02-17 05:55 AM

Lovely...James

SweetSerenity
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 52
Canada

7 posted 2003-02-17 06:01 AM

Very beatiful.
Keep up the good work.

~A touch of Sweetness . . . . . A lifetime of Serenity~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2003-02-17 10:32 AM

The soft glow of the moon
Transforms soft heavenly shadows
On a blossoming love
Into a song gentle stars chorus

The raident sun goes up
The quiet moon rises
Both beautiful together in the sky
With no disguise

I know the secrets of the river
I am moved by the song of the night
I touch the sun of dawn
I stay near you,as your love is my light
====================================

This is just so lovely...beautiful poetry.
Wonderful use of imagery, personification and metaphor to define the expressions and emotions.
One would not know that you were "fairly new to poetry" after reading this gem,
Welcome to Poetry Land...nice to have you here with us...I look forward to reading more of your work.
jm

" ... and I never saw blue like that before."

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

9 posted 2003-02-20 12:19 PM

this one needs another go round.

" ... And think not, that you can direct the course of love ...
if it finds you worthy ... it then directs your course."

K.Gibran

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2003-02-20 03:29 AM

just gorgeous!

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

11 posted 2003-02-20 03:33 AM

Beautiful....My vote is in!!!!

Bridgette

Munda
Member Elite

since 1999-10-08

Posts 3544
The Hague, The Netherlands

12 posted 2003-02-20 12:35 PM

Beautiful poem.

Mollie963
Junior Member

since 2003-02-12

Posts 14

13 posted 2003-02-20 07:04 PM

thank you all so much for appreciating my work!! it really makes me feel much more confident about my writing! thanks!!

[This message has been edited by Mollie963 (02-20-2003 07:28 PM).]

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

14 posted 2003-02-20 09:26 PM

A soothing poem for the soul, lovely!

~* Carpe' Diem *~

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

15 posted 2003-02-20 09:30 PM

Very very nicely done!
Welcome to Passions...
~Hugs & Smiles, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

16 posted 2003-02-20 10:07 PM

welcome to passions!

the calm within this was magical, filled with the essence of love and the sense of knowing it creates.
delicately written, beautiful.
lots of love, gemma xxxxxxxxx

learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

17 posted 2003-02-20 10:15 PM

This is such a beautiful poem. I love the rivers. They're so peaceful and serene.

Oh, and welcome to Passions.....

Ethel...garysgirl

[This message has been edited by garysgirl (02-20-2003 10:15 PM).]

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

18 posted 2003-02-21 04:30 AM

Lovely

Charisma

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

19 posted 2003-02-21 07:21 AM

This is beautiful...

Thanks for sharing...

Regards,
Sudhir

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

20 posted 2003-02-22 01:59 AM

"Now I know how it feels
I know you see me
There I am with you
Where the river reaches the sea... "

how could I not like this one?

it's beautiful

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

21 posted 2003-02-22 02:06 AM

BTW,
my vote is in.
Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Chanson
Senior Member

since 2000-08-19

Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle

22 posted 2003-02-22 07:11 PM

I enjoyed this soothing
journey. *s

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

23 posted 2003-02-27 01:25 PM

This is such a beautiful poem, I really enjoyed reading it.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

24 posted 2003-02-27 11:08 PM

Mollie963 - liked what I read, let's vote it in the book...

BC

DawnG

Senior Member

since 2000-06-23

Posts 1494
United States

25 posted 2003-02-27 11:26 PM

Another vote for this beauty from me

Dawn

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

26 posted 2003-03-20 02:52 PM

I know the secrets of the river
I am moved by the song of the night
I touch the sun of dawn
I stay near you,as your love is my light

What a beautiful verse!! I like the entire poem... but this is truly a gem. *S* Very good work! *S*

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

27 posted 2003-03-20 03:45 PM

Very nicely done, it gets my vote.

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