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Open Poetry #25
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Flood (senryu)
| Open Poetry #25 |
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Flood (senryu) |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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Salt water eye sting frustration breaks the dam and releases the flood |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Holding your hand only I smile And ride the wave with you |
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Jason Lyle Senior Member
since 2003-02-07
Posts 1438With my darkling |
Drowning in this sea I gasp, not really caring Anger makes me weak [This message has been edited by Jason Lyle (03-05-2003 01:56 AM).] |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
As the salt starts to burn I taste my failures upon my sunburned lips |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
unlock that frustration and let the good stuff all flow, boy i was going to get real dirty here, so use your imagination instead |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I actually understood that. And i understand. But then again, only rodents can't cry. (there's a message in that as well  )the Wind is invisible. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Aenimal Good one, enjoyed. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Hey, Wind -- this rodent can..... Nice catch, Aenimal! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Nothing like a good cry to release those feel-good endorphins! Effectively written senryu! Warm hugs on this cold Ontario morning! EA |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks everybody, Wind that mean I should turn into a rodent? Is a ferret a rodent? Cause ferrets are cool... |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
i used to find crying easy. why cant i cry anymore? i want to cry! you've made it sound so beautiful and a release. pretty dam(n) good. he he.  keep em coming friend.learning each day, for you and i, our paths have met, i've already learnt that you are love. |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
i wish i wrote this...this is good stuff  |
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sea_of_okc Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568Oklahoma City, OK, USA |
Much said in so few words. Kudos |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
this one knocks one right between the eyes with its powerful clarity, excellently done! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I love to see that men are not scared to show emotions.....HUgssssss and peaceful thoughts..... Lauren~ Take me where the tides start |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Gemma pick off a nose hair that might work kaile thanks for the compliment thanks sea of okc VAS thanks for the kind words Lauren showing most of them for me not the problem, holding them back is. |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Excellent! Love, Margherita |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Tears are said to cleanse the soul. Enjoyed this senryu! Chris "Hope" is the thing with feathers- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
No way would I ever critique your work, Raph...you are far too well experienced and comforting with your writing whether it is stark, or at peace...but you know... the word "damn" fit just as well for "dam", too... and that is where my mind went. I tend to read your writing one word at a time, for I know you place each intentionally, never helter-skelter, never random...always intentionally. What, you don't do it that way? Sure seems like it...  You are a very composed artist...I take great care to try and read your new posts as I can. If I have missed any, feel free to send them to me, because it is not my intent to miss any...  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Grazie Margherita! Che belle resposti che scrive sempre appreciate it Chris Karilea that is such a great compliment to me, I foten feel a little oucast in here..very nice to know people are reading and enjoying afterall [This message has been edited by Aenimal (03-09-2003 02:45 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) One thing I have never ever understood is who the heck told men not to cry? (sad sigh) I find that ridiculous as I never see crying as a weakness, in fact, I see it as a strength, for an honest man should cry and show his emotions so others can reach out, whereas if you don't cry it is forever bottled up inside you and it is almost as though you are lying your whole life! This is very heartfelt, sweet friend, bless you and others who aren't afraid to show emotions, I too cry and I am blessed I have the ability to, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Raphael, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Connel
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736Florida, USA |
Great write!. And hey wind! whats up? Anyone can write, But only poets can capture the heart. |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Noah agreed Thanks Connel |
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Laoha Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 161Nevada, USA |
Great writing, here is the translation. http://www.chinapoet.net/cgi-bin/topic.cgi?forum=35&topic=214 By the way, can you tell me the origin of the senryu? Is it the same as haiku? Or it's has a broader meaning? |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Laoha apparentely senryu has the same structure as a haiku 5-7-5 but where haiku's are limited to the topic of nature senryu's are not...at least this is what i understand |
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Laoha Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 161Nevada, USA |
Aenimal,thanks for the info. It's helpful. |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
Loved it :-) |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Raph, I love to kid you for some reason...(maybe because you're such a good sport)... But, this is serious, dear friend. You are one of my favorite people here....and apparently well liked by others, from the amount of responses you get from your work. I sometimes don't reply to your poems, not because they aren't good, but because they're so good that I have no idea what to say in a reply. I echo everything that Sunshine said to you about your writing. It appears that you take great care in your writing and that every word you put down has a precise meaning. This is great talent, friend. Besides your great talent, you also have a very tender and compassionate heart that is easily touched. That is most admirable in a man. I think it's really great that you and the other men who write poetry have enough confidence in yourselves that you express your feelings through writing. That is one of the many things that attracted me to my Love. He is sure enough of himself that he doesn't let the ideas of others affect his feelings. You are that way, too. Okay, I didn't mean to get so long-winded, I just thought that you needed to know that your poetry has more of an effect on people than you sometimes think. Heart Hugs, Ethel |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
PERFECT! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Laoha glad i could help Thanks Kristiesue! Ethel, made my day thank you so much. You could very well be the sweetest person ever. VAS don't know about that but glad you think so |
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