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wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2003-03-03 12:23 PM

I know of this man
This, father of yours

I stumbled across his path
A few decades ago
When I was searching
For a way of my own

I took some time
To examine his workings
And found within them
A smattering of truth

As though he’d studied
The prophets
But, quite missed
The point

I saw that he’d fashioned
An asylum, of sorts
For the mean and the lazy

And he’d set out a salt lick
For the weak and the bovine

And called them “Believers”

Brilliant?
Certainly.

Charismatic?
To be sure.

But I dismissed him
As an egocentric hedonist
Of small worth

Unwilling, himself
To follow the Gospels
That he had written

So, tell me, dear Zena
That you are not
After all

Your daddy's little girl

[This message has been edited by wranx (03-03-2003 07:43 PM).]

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-03-03 12:35 PM

And he’d set out a salt lick
For the weak and the bovine

And called them “Believers”

This piece Ed, sharp words that cut right through. Read it with a grin spreading wider with each verse and in between the lines

[This message has been edited by Aenimal (03-03-2003 12:36 AM).]

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-03-03 12:36 PM

Another Anton?

Interesting write. You delve into areas most fear to tread, Ed. Please don't ever stop doing that.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

3 posted 2003-03-03 12:48 PM

Oh yes, you certainly beat to your own drum,
and that's a very good thing.

A provoker of many thoughts~
and one who dares to venture off the beaten track.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-03-03 12:50 PM

Very Interesting write. But I liked it.

Cold hands means a warm heart

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

5 posted 2003-03-03 12:59 PM

My Dearest Ed...

You don't know what this means to me...
When I read this I cry...and you know why.
A secret between you and I... that I know will remain just that.

Vous savez que vous êtes mon plus cher amour. Je vous jugerai près de mon coeur cassé juste comme je tiens la mémoire de mon papa. Je t'aime pour toujours.

Amore
Heather Nichole

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-03-03 02:21 AM

Wranx - this one will remain with me always - blind cattle . . . xxoo

WhileIWasGone
Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 486

7 posted 2003-03-03 04:39 PM

ED... que j'ai voulu répondre à votre poteau une fois de plus. Merci d'écrire ceci... que vous savez ce qui ce des moyens à moi. Je vous parlerai ce soir. J'espère...

Amore
H

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

8 posted 2003-03-03 07:37 PM

Heavy stuff, here. Your work continues to grow and improve and search. Hope you are finding some answers.

One tiny nit: Daddys' should be Daddy's.

And that's a dark, scary pic, hmmm, wonder if I could do one like that? Don't laugh, I'm serious!

Cor

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

9 posted 2003-03-03 07:43 PM

Well Cor,
It helps if you're dark and scary, no?

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

10 posted 2003-03-03 08:34 PM

Awww, where's your pic? It is a cool pic, you know!

haha, well, I might be scary to some!
Fierce might be a better word. But I'd fail at coming of dark and scary. Silly and scary maybe...

Cor

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2003-03-03 08:38 PM

Cor? smile, wait until those hormones kick in...

and yes, Ed...Anton did indeed invent himself, and oh I could go on and on...a wonderful write that I could discuss for hours--so I'll just say, enjoyed, and leave it at that.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

12 posted 2003-03-03 08:43 PM

Ed, I always know that when I read one of your poems, it's going to be very interesting. They always are.

Oh, and I like your new picture. Have I told you that yet? I can't remember.

Hugs,
Ethel

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

13 posted 2003-03-04 09:38 AM

Any time's a good time to get wranxed, but it's a great way to start your day. Now I've grist to last my mind 'til noon......

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______________Ratleader______________

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