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Why Can't I ??
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Why Can't I ?? |
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Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach 
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Why can't I speak up for myself ?? I am so sad  and angry  at the same time.ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!! Thanks for letting me vent. Chris |
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| © Copyright 2004 Chris Barker - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
You just took the first step. I wish you continued success along your quest for self-assertiveness. Cause in my dreams it's always there |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I never saw the problem. Of course, I'm the new sister. What's up? |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thanks you guys. I cannot allow myself to get down..... So glad I have the pages of blue! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sometimes we have to choose our battles. If it's important to you, take a deep breath. Pretend you're someone else and just say it! Sooner or later, you won't have to pretend. You WILL be that person who speaks up! (So are you telling us that you wish you'd been able to yell down the mall at that guy and say 'Hey Mister! Come back here with my.......') LOL |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
PDV.....ROFL.....thanks for the pep talk...ROLF....and the laughs. My sister was stretching the truth just a little...it wasn't stuck on the man's shoe...it was....well...we never did find it!!!ROLF. As for the other matter at hand. I wish I could tell the whole mess to you all...but it is much to hard on my heart. Maybe one day without thinking about it too long, I will just say what I have bottled up inside and let the chips fall where they may. Who knows? Luv Ya !!  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Chris..You're 'rolling on the laughing floor'?  Seriously, I know what you're talking about. I think it was how we, you and I, were raised that keeps you especially from just blurting it out. (stiff upper lip, the show must go on, and all that rot). I finally learned how to 'spit it out' the hard way when the doc told me if I didn't get this crap off my chest I wouldn't be around to enjoy life for a long time. Now, you and I both know that we are going to live to a ripe old age like grandad and live together by the sea, and finish writing our stories. Soooo...like I said last night..speak up. Let the chips fall where they may...the ones involved will be SO surprised, they will be speechless ..and then they will 'get over it'. Love you tons! *Oh...and PDV...it was on the man's shoe! It had to be..because that's the way the story goes*  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Laryngitis??? (shrugging)...... |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
NancyLee - yes the doc has told me the same thing, yet I just can't do it. I wish I could, but, knowing how little I am cared about anyway....I don't think it would matter if I had a sky writer say it for me. Cpat. Lol. I wish it was a simple case of losing my voice. Hugs. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
quote: Now, this gives ME something to look forward to. And Chris? Sometimes we just have to accept the "deaf ears" in our life, and go forward. Right? [You know I'm right, I see you nodding your head...  ] |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Chris... we learn to speak as children by hearing and imitating... if you find now you have problems speaking for yurself in some situations it is because you get scared and would not hurt or have to deal with the repurcussions of saying what it is you think.. I know how that is.. and I know how it is to eat your words or what you have tried to say.. so there is no easy answer..except.. picking your battles and learning.. just like we did as babies.. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Sunshine....yes, I am nodding and smiling at you. Cpat. You are so right. As a child if I had spoken up to my elders....oooooh, it would have been a sin !! But, also, I really dislike hurting another person's feelings and have them think even worse of me. This is so difficult to explain without telling the whole story. But, I do appreciate the helpful tips. Luv ya gang!! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
"knowing how little I am cared about anyway....I don't think it would matter if I had a sky writer say it for me." Chris..I don't believe this to be true for a second. I think this person has some very major personal problems, and beneath it all cares very much. Hey! You know you have family down here who loves and cares for you!  |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
I wish I could believe she does NancyLee....but this has been going on since the summer of 2000. Ya kinda lose hope you know? I know I have alot of love beaming from your house to mine. Ditto !! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
When I grow up I want to be more like you Chris, I unfortunately do not have any problem speaking up |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Sharon....have you lost anyone....whom you held dear, to your speaking up to them? That's what I am afraid of. Seeing as the relationship is hanging by a thread now, if it hasnt' already snapped. Hugs! |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Chris, I don't see how anybody could get mad at you, whether you spoke up or not. I believe that if you did speak up, you would say it in such a loving way that they wouldn't be mad.  Hugs, you  Ethel |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Aww...Ethel....you are such a dear. hugs! |
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