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Gotta Love the Late Night Comics...
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Gotta Love the Late Night Comics... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008.You know why I think she's running?I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the president's bed." --Jay Leno "Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president.Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it." --Conan O'Brien "In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan; Probably for the same reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk." --Jay Leno "Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank." --Jay Leno A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400.He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, "Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine." -Jay Leno "Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow ex-felons to voteSee, this way all the Clinton 's former business partners can vote for her in 2008." --Jay Leno Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern." Craig Kilborn In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him, getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts." - Jay Leno "In the book, she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said "I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for air. No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said." - David Letterman "Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York, announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the President of the United States . Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment family." - David Letterman "Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first party in her new home in Washington . People said it was a lot likethe parties she use to host at the White House.In fact, even the furniture was the same." - Jay Leno "Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking PresidentBush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch." - Craig Kilborn "CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful.Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it." - Jay Leno "Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York. When they swore her in, she used the Clintonfamily Bible. . .the one with only seven commandments." -David Letterman |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Very funny. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
She does provide for some good material.... http://www.mynorthwest.com/?nid=76&sid=38179 |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
On the "Sniper Incident" Bill Clinton commented "Hell, if i'd known there weren't snipers I never would have sent her." Jay Leno |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Great stuff! On Bill Maher's show, Senator Barney Frank noted that he was thinking of introducing a bill to legalize medical-use marijuana nationally. I think it was P.J. O'Rourke, fellow guest, thought it was a terrible idea because "two thirds of the country would suddenly become sick!" It was a funny, but insightful remark. Here in California, there are Doctors advertising openly that they will sell, excuse me, provide an "exam" and a medical marijuana prescription for $45.00. Good in any local marijuana store. No good idea ever goes uncorrupted. Best, Jimbeaux  |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
You guys are TERRIBLE; you all should be ashamed of yourselves!! I would go to church and pray for your souls...but as soon as I finish clinging to my guns I have to get to the local smalltown range for some more practice. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jimbeaux stole my steal...*laughing* (I was wondering if anyone would bring up Bill Maher--at all.)  |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3_jh2dO78U . |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
I enjoyed the postings quite a bit and got a lot of laughs out of them. I do tend to agree with the unspoken common agreement apparent among most of those posting: Most of the stuff happening over the last four years hasn't been funny at all. I too would rather laugh than cry. I've been wracking my brains for a clever comeback to "Heard the joke about the President who lied to the American People about causes for going to war, managed to get well over 100,00 Iraqis killed by not allowing the U.N. to do the job he said he was supporting them in doing, not to mention getting 4,00 American soldiers killed, dismantling the VA Hospitals and denying care to many of the 25,00 wounded who have returned from combat, alienating many of the people in foreign countries who loved America and looked up to her before he came to office, running up a multi Trillion Dollar debt, and accusing those people who want to pay it back of being spendthrifts?" Can't work up a single guffaw, cackle, snicker, snort or dirty little inside smile about any of it. I'm also waiting for all the loud laughs about the hysterical things being done to the constitution. I'll laugh about the funny things being done to YOUR rights that even some of the more honest Republican senators are worried about, if you'll be good enough to explain the humor of it all to me; because gentlemen, the things that I find have been done to mine over the past eight years have not been funny at all. I'll laugh right along with you about Hillary and Barack Obama, though I'd rather you included John McCain in there too, because it's all basic silliness now, isn't it? And why not include Senator McCain in the fun, if it really fun you're after. Because there's an awful lot of stuff that you're not explaining to me. The humor of it, I mean, that I sure as shooting would like to be let in on. Because I love a good laugh as well as anybody else, and you folks sure are acting like party poopers, keeping all the really funny stuff for yourselves as a sort of private inside joke. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I guess John McCain is too boring to be funny. And I'm waiting for the day when people stop saying that Bush lied. It was erroneous intelligence information, and not only from the U.S. intelligence services. Saddam wanted the world to believe that he had WMDs, probably for his own protection. And he succeeded in that charade. Everyone believed it, even President Clinton. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
*gasp* and this card carryin' Democrat was having a good time snickering to this thread... But I guess I am not supposed to as the seriousness of the condition of the economy, government, country even...is too much to allow for any kind of levity... "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
quote: That's probably the funniest punch line in this whole thread, Denise.  Yes, Bush believed Iraq possessed WMD, and yea, there's nothing inherently wrong with that. When he couldn't find anything to prove his belief, however, he fabricated evidence and presented it to the American people. He lied. Personally, I don't think President Bush is a bad man. I think his motivations are probably good ones. He is, however, absolutely convinced he knows best and is clearly willing to circumvent the truth in his quest to do what he believes is necessary. I'm not sure that makes him a bad man. It does make him a very dangerous one. Here's the punch line, though. Four years ago, we all decided McCain wasn't as good as Bush? |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Denise, Fortunately somebody has actually been keeping track, more or less lie by lie and event by event, and has not been counting on public amnesia: http://www.motherjones.com/bush_war_timeline/ Have a look. Please don't take my word for it. I would rather you didn't. The president and his friends count on other people to have bad memories and to not check out the data. Well. . . |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. http://www2.nysun.com/article/74720 . While you're at it . . . . |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Huan Yi, If you wish to make reference to Douglas Feith about anything, you might wish to check the wikipedia article about him. I was surprised to find as much nice stuff as I did, truth be told, and the stuff that wasn't so nice was pretty telling. Wiki tries to be pretty objective, so you can imagine some of the stuff I found at web sites that I won't trouble you with here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Feith#Former_Commander_Coalition_Forces_in_Iraq.2C_Gen._Tommy_Franks_.28ret.29 The first half or two thirds of the article are pretty much straightforward governmental biography; beyond that some of the more critical stuff creeps in, wisely tempered with balanced response. All in all, it's worth reading. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Huan Yi, I'm afraid I've double posted. Here's the link to Douglas Feith. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Feith Apparently I've not found any way to simply have you clink on the link (I think) to transport you there. But if the info about Feith is accurate, it makes me wonder why you'd want to bring him up. Especially the last half to two thirds of the article. Noticing the swiftness of your reply, I was wondering if you'd actually had a chance to check out the time-line from Mother Jones yet. It's very detailed with a lot of the lies actually laid out with times and dates, word for word. You sort of changed the subject without acknowledging something had been said when you simply wordlessly tossed a reference to the book review in the New York Sun. Knowing you, I can't believe that you are actually simply acknowledging the reality of these things, the series of administration lies. Though I do believe their reality is pretty difficult to contest. What's the deal here? Gnomic simply leaves me puzzled. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you, Bob K. You managed to inject into a topic that had nothing but fun replies and a little humor and turn it into a serious let's bash Bush campaign once again. Keep up the good work.  P.S. If you care to explain how the late night talk show hosts cracking funnies about the current candidates relate to Iraq, WMDs and that evil, lying Bush...please do...but then, why bother, right? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
*gasp* and this card carryin' Democrat was having a good time snickering to this thread... But I guess I am not supposed to as the seriousness of the condition of the economy, government, country even...is too much to allow for any kind of levity... I'm afraid you are right, Susan. Apparently we are not supposed be able to smile or have brief moments of levity...let's all just remember how miserable everyone is and how bad of shape the country is in instead, which I suppose is much more satisfying to some. Thanks for the brief smiles before being shown how wrong that is, though. I appreciate it  |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
I'd been missing you, Mike. It's good to hear from you again. I confess I don't enjoy our political exchanges as much as our exchanges about poetry itself because I have a much better sense of you in the larger sense as a poet and I confess to have difficulty getting any kind of clear understanding of you as a political guy. This is my fault, I'm sure, because I can tell you're trying to be as out there as you can about your political thoughts and feelings. I was particularly impressed, for example, by our discussion about Chavez, when I felt I saw you trying to deal with the whole awful mess from a really deeply sympathetic place. Sympathetic with the Venezuelan people, I mean. I feel exchanges like that are good for me personally and they change my feeling and thinking about the world and the way the world works. This doesn't mean I always end up agreeing with you, but it does mean that the contact does alter me in some personal and substantial way. Any one particular piece of our ongoing dialogue may click for me and be helpful for me in that way or not, but the dialogue itself is important to me. The discussion here, about the late night comics, I'm not certain how to talk about or how to deal with, so I'll simply bumble along the best way I can, as honestly as I can with myself and with you and with whomever else is here. I'll be writing in fits and starts below because I'm not certain at this point how to prioritize any particular points or even which points are of importance and which are more or less defensive. I try not to be defensive, but really that's impossible for any of us, isn't it?. . . I don't mind joining friendly laughter, when it's friendly and when I enjoy it. I should be able to tell it's friendly, shouldn't I? Friendly is that happy feeling a guy has when everybody's having fun, Balladeer; not the feeling you get when everybody tells you you're a spoilsport for not joining in with the derisive laughter when things you have the nagging feeling may be important are held up to ridicule. The tip off for me was your use of 14 quotes and noticing that none of them were about Republicans. Watching the occasional late night talk show as I do, I've seen that, oddly enough, most of these guys make the occasional joke about Republicans, too, though not apparently in THIS world of Late Night Comics, where only Democrats look foolish. My speculation about why this might be seemed pretty obvious from there. If only Democrats were funny, What did that make the Republicans? When I take this premise and extend it, I'm apparently a terrible spoilsport, even if I happen to connect my speculations pretty solidly with reality. I would think you'd welcome knowing how unfunny the Republicans are. It certainly would account for you leaving them out of the list of ready butts for political humor. If it were me, and I were setting up the premise, I would suggest that both parties were pretty silly folks for some pretty good reasons. I'd list some of the jokes you listed in your original list, even all of them, and toss in a few about McCain and his temper and his ability to flip flop on issues depending on his audience and his soliciting the support of some fairly odd (to my mind as odd or more so than the Republican feelings about Obama's pastor) far Right religious folk. I'd laugh about all of them, make sure everybody knew that laughter was my sole agenda item, and I'd be done with it. What you got from me was a humorous response to balance the partisan message that came across very clearly to me. I'd call this sort of humor "irony" rather than joke telling. There is often a quality of bitterness to it. Many people have difficulty with it because it tends to find its humor in the ways that people mistreat others as though there was nothing wrong with that. "Irony" always lets us know that yes, there is something wrong with that, even though folks would have it otherwise. Use of irony often makes a guy unpopular at times. I probably shouldn't lay it on so thickly. quote: The fun replies and a little humor were probably in the eye of the beholder, I guess. I certainly didn't feel included in it. And my comments about the past eight years were only tangentially about Mr. Bush. I would no more expect you to go along with an attempt to bash Mr. Bush than you should expect me to go along with a one-sided attempt to bash purely Democratic primary candidates. The question in my mind is why you would expect every Democrat to go along with a one-sided attempt at Democrat bashing without noticing there wasn't a single Republican joke in the bunch? And why you think it would be ill-spirited to react? "Nothing but" is something you state as though it weren't a highly questionable premise. Do you have, offhand, 14 nothing but fun jibes from late night comics you might care to share about Mr. McCain or the various Republicans in the administration at this point? Or would you rather have another discussion? quote: As we've discussed above, Mr. Bush is tangential. At this stage, of course, if the past eight years could be fastened to him and he could be sent out into the wilderness as a scape-goat to take on the sins of not only the Republican party, including Senator McCain who was one of the party's most faithful supporters, but also (Dear Balladeer) those Democrats who should have stood up and fought them on economic, social, geopolitical and human rights issues and did not do so, we would all feel much better. We, Republican and Democrats alike, would not be in this mess. The Republicans for running off a political cliff, cheering popular slogans, and the Democrats for limiting themselves to wringing their hands and whining while the Republicans did so. Believe me, there's plenty of irony to go around, And Balladeer, you shouldn't be so quick to assume that you're the only one that needs to deny they deserve any blame. I'm standing tall and proud as the dickens in that same line, and so are all the Democrats I can think of. None of us great at this point in time. It's simply being partisan at a time like this is too stupid to be borne when the country needs all of us to dig ourselves out of the hole the last eight years have put us in. I don't mind laughing, I simply want to laugh at the whole thing. I don't want to pretend somebody else did it. [This message has been edited by Bob K (04-16-2008 03:33 PM).] |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
http://www.godlessgeeks.com/BushJokes.htm Obviously Sir Balladeer didn't read this. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, Seoulair, Sir Balladeer has read a ton of Bush jokes over the years and some of them hilarious  If we have had another President with more jokes directed at him than Bush (with the exception of Clinton, of course), I;d sure like to know who it was. They were not included in this thread because, last time I looked, Bush was not running for office this time and the thread was about the current presidential candidates....and the compilation was not made be me but from the source that printed them.BobK, yes, it is true that the jokes are concerning the Democrat candidates only. The fact is, I'm afraid, that with the exception of a few cute quips about Mc Cain's age, he is just not very good material, whereas Hillary and Obama present unlimited material, as evidenced by the scripts of Letterman, O'Brien, et al. In a way, that's sad because a president should be colorful enough for political satirists to have fun with. The fun replies and a little humor were probably in the eye of the beholder, I guess. I certainly didn't feel included in it. That's too bad, Bob, because they are actually pretty funny to millions of people who watch the shows they aired on. I would even go so far as to say a percentage of people who smiled at them were Democrats. I doubt seriously that Hollywood intentionally set out to irritate as many Democrats as possible - highly unlikely, wouldn't you say? Most of the stuff happening over the last four years hasn't been funny at all. We certainly agree here, Bob. Iraq is not funny. Loss of human life is not funny. Terrorism is not funny, nor is people losing jobs. But why limit it to the past four years? Why not make it the past 250? The world wars weren't funny, neither was the Depression. One thing that I think sets this country apart from many is our ability to laugh even when the going is as tough as it can be. There was nothing funny about Korea and yet MASH, a comedy, became one of the most beloved TV shows of all times. Racism and prejudice is not funny, either, and yet All In The Family was loved by all races, even spawning terrific black comedy shows of their own like the Jeffersons. That's what we do. On the political scene, political satire has existed forever and no politician has ever been immune to it. One has to recognize it for what it is. Infidelity is not funny, nor is a married man seducing a young girl 30 years his junior into oral sex but it certainly spawned enough Monica jokes, no? We laugh....sometimes to keep from crying. My complaint againt your initial comment is simply that you went overboard in your defensiveness. You apparently took jokes aimed at Hillary and Obama to such heart that it propelled to to retaliate by bringing up Bush lying to the American people, Iraqis dying, soldiers dying, the VA system being dismantled, running up trillion dollar debts and the destruction of the American constitution, among other things. Don't you think that may be just a wee bit over the top? All of this because no Republican jokes were listed in the thread? It was intended to be a light-hearted topic, one to bring a smile or two to the readers. It's difficult for me to understand how one could be so sensitive as to go that far overboard. You can list as many Bush jokes as you like and I'll laugh right along with you. David Letterman has had a segment for years entitled "Great Moments in Political Speeches", where he shows clips of notable past presidents like Kennedy, Roosevelt and the like giving speeches....and then a clip of Bush mumbling and stumbling over simple sentences. Some of them are absolutely hilarious. Should I follow your lead then? SHould I say, "Well, they may be funny but being convicted of a felony while President isn;t funny, neither is being accused of rape and improper advances by multiple women, niether is dismantling the military or stealing the White House furniture and paintings when leaving office, etc, etc, etc? No, thanks. I simply accept them for the humor they are. Have you seen clips of the Bush impersonator who appeared on the Jeff Foxworthy birthday bash? If not, I'd be happy to email one to you. They are by far the most hilarious political clips I've ever seen. The man was spectacular, looking like Bush with all of the exact mannerisms and speech. The skit was not kind toward Bush or his intellect, believe me. What did Bush do upon seeing it? He invited the fellow to perform at the Lincoln Center before a nationally televised audience....and he joined him. There was no tirade or defensiveness there, nor should there have been. If my thread offended you so much to drive you to the extremes they did, I apologize. It was not my intent and I certainly didn't stop to think it would provoke such a strong reaction. I suggest you brace yourself because there are going to be a lot more in the coming months (but I won't reproduce them here - promise!) [This message has been edited by Balladeer (04-16-2008 09:46 PM).] |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
In all fairness, I think we should have a vote on whether you present the here or not. Personally, I think we could use some levity. I vote that you do present them here. Of course, if there is a McCain joke or two, you should bring them up too. Fairness rules, you know. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You're right, Pete. I've done some searching and it appears McCain is funnier than I had thought.... "You know who I like is that John McCain. ... He looks like the guy at the hardware store who makes the keys. He looks like the guy who can't stop talking about how well his tomatoes are doing. He looks like the guy who goes into town for turpentine. He looks like the guy who always has wiry hair growing out of new places. He looks like the guy who points out the spots they missed at the car wash." --David Letterman "It was reported that Barack Obama's Secret Service name is 'Renegade,' while Hillary Clinton's is 'Evergreen.' That's true. Meanwhile, John McCain's Secret Service name is 'Enlarged Prostate.'" --Conan O'Brien "Congratulations to John McCain, he wrapped up the Republican nomination this week. And we know this is official now because Mike Huckabee dropped out and said he was joining forces with John McCain. Oh, great, you've got one guy who doesn't believe in evolution, and another guy who remembers it." --Bill Maher "As you know, last week the big rumor, according to the New York Times, is John McCain was allegedly sleeping with a a young, attractive lobbyist. Well, that story has pretty much gone away. In fact, the only one trying to keep it alive now? John McCain." --Jay Leno "The New York Times is claiming that John McCain, who is 71 years old, had an inappropriate relationship with a woman who is a Washington lobbyist. The good news is there's no footage. Political experts say this could be a huge scandal for McCain because he's married and the woman he's accused of having an affair with is 31 years younger than he is. In a related story, earlier today McCain was endorsed by Bill Clinton." --Conan O'Brien "They have debated so much that they are now debating about debating. Did you see this? A lot of this debate was about the power of words. Hillary said, 'Actions speak louder than words,' Then Obama said, 'Words can speak as loud as actions.' And then McCain said, 'Speak louder!'" --Bill Maher Tonight David Letterman said Hillary did not go to the airport to greet the Pope because she was afraid of sniper fire |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
Dear Balladeer, Thank you very much Balladeer. I know it doesn't seem like very much to you, but it means a lot to me. I'm touched. And not only in the head. My best, Bob K. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My pleasure, Bob. Whether we have similar views or not, you always have my respect |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
I wanted to say that jokes of Republican and of democrat brought same entertainment to media but not same to individuals. War time, in general granted close to absolute power to Government and politician are very careful on what they want to say for the sake of their political career.(or pave a similar self-benefit way for later) I have talked to 4 Republicans so far on why they wanted to be a republican. They all say that they wanted small government, low tax and Government shall not stretch its hand too long or fingers to fine into people's life. But here I have questions People do not eat the vege from their own yard and eggs from their own hens and not get pots from their smith friend, who is going to Control the quality and toxicity? (as in Chatch-up). and electricity, traveling, internet, all those roads, highway and bridges. How does Republican want a small Government while so happily see Government saves the stock market, the banks, and government touched benefit-earning of gas market and what is the name of the company of previously chaired by Chaney? American infrastructure are old. bridges and many government own things are needed to be repaired and rebuilt. who is going to do them? (with Government money.) Shall someone bribe? or have a position in Government? Once the government position is closely bond with personal benefit, nothing good will come out it. (It have been always like this? or is it getting worse?) Is today's republicans are same as the old ones? The democrats? I don't know. But Sir Balladeer is a republican, isn't he? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Yes, if being for smaller government is to be a Republican, Sir Balladeer is indeed. In 1960 I would have been a Democrat since John Kennedy lowered taxes and advocated the same. I will go for whichever party employs that view. Seoulair, the government does indeed need public funds for infrastructure, maintaining the military and a variety of issues vital to the country. Do they need hundreds of thousands for a memorial to Woodstock? I doubt it, although Hillary seems to differ. One of the questions is...how does the government acquire this income? The most revealing part of the Democrat presidential debate last week concerned capital gains taxes. Charles Gibson, the moderator, pointed out that it is fact that, every time the capital gains tax percentage has been lowered, it resulted in MORE tax dollars coming into the government. Based on that fact, both candidates were asked if they would raise the CG taxes? Obama sidestepped a direct answer, instead talked about the inequality of 59 hedge fund managers making billions of dollars. The capital gains taxes affect a few more people than 59....by many millions. Hillary said she would not raise it past the 20% her husband had set it at before leaving office, even after being reminded once again that not raising them produces more revenue for the government. She made that sounds pretty fair. Since it is at 15% right now, a raise to 20% is a 33% raise, a figure she appears to consider nominal but I can assure that 33% increases mean a lot to a lot of Americans. So the point is...with both candidates stating more tax revenues need to come in, and being presented with the facts that lowering capital gains taxes generates more tax revenues coming, neither one would consider not raising the tax, one avoiding an answer and one claiming to raise it ONLY 33%. That is not taxation for the sake of the country. That is taxation for the sake of taxation. That is what today's Democrats do. |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
Thank you, sir Balladeer for the lecture. Have a great weekend!!!! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Could we get back to humor? Or, maybe someone with more brain cells than I could start a new thread and leave this one to deteriorate? If this is going to deal in focus on the media, we should just accept that the only real laughter has been from the media itself; since they fueled this circus more than a year ago, they have been laughing all the way to the bank. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Thank you, icebox. That was my hope with the creation of the thread and I would like to get back there, too. God knows there's enough humor out the concerning this upcoming election to last for decades! |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
"Now there is a new biography of President Bush out, have you heard this? Where it says the president cries a lot. The president said, 'I do tears.' So lets see, he's impulsive, he's stubborn, he's weepy. Sorry Hillary, apparently we already have our first female president." --Bill Maher |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
"Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton had a private talk. Did you hear about this? They had a private discussion. They agreed to stop attacking each other so harshly. Hillary told Barack, 'We should pretend to like each other, just like Bill and I do.'" --Conan O'Brien "Is anybody really that surprised that Hillary Clinton is running for president? I'm not surprised. I mean, if you were married to Bill Clinton ... wouldn't you want to be able to tap his phone, read his mail, and torture him?" --Jay Leno [This message has been edited by Balladeer (04-21-2008 12:03 AM).] |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
"Actually, I think President Bush starting to change his opinion on global warming. Today, he announced an initiative to combat global warming. Again, I don't think he really understands the issue. He says his first act would be to order the Department of Energy to start drilling for solar power." --Jay Leno |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
LOLOL!!! Now THAT'S funny!  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Here is a free puppy The President-wannabe is jogging down the street one day, and she sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had. She goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing such a good thing." The little girl says, "Thank you, Mrs. Clinton. Would you like a puppy? They're Democrats." Hillary declines and jogs onward. The next day Hillary jogs past the same girl and decides to talk to her again. "You know what, little girl? I think I'll take one of those puppies after all, seeing as how they're Democrats." The girl says, "I'm sorry Mrs. Clinton, but they're not Democrats any more. They're Republican now." Hillary says, "They are? How do you know? As a matter of fact, how did you know that they were Democrats at first to begin with?" She says, "Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open."  |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
"Well, just after they were born they were Democrats, but now their eyes are open." Thus is a very interesting sentence. I don't know that which party it is laugh at. But, The open-eye hints the open-eye after the fruit of Knowledge. Interesting story. (it seems to laugh at Hillary though) |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It's an adapted story from an old joke told on her husband, Bill, when he was President. I couldn't help it - the imp in me took over! |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
"According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought." --Jay Leno |
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Seoulair Senior Member
since 2008-03-27
Posts 807Seoul S.Korea |
"Things not looking good for President Bush. His approval rating has dropped so low the only thing he's above now is the law." --Jay Leno |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
...and Congress. |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
The current head of the joint chiefs of staff is briefing the president. The situation is quiet and dignified, as you expect such a situation to be. "And lastly, Mr. President," says the General. leaning forward in his chair, an appropriately sad expression on his face, "it is my sad duty to inform you that we lost two Brazilian troops in Iraq today." The president immediately loses his composure and begins to weep. His shoulders are heaving. Tears run down his face, soon the situation gets more obvious, as the president puts his head down on his desk and great sobs rack his body. He is in obvious intense mourning and the General is, in turn, quite moved to see his leader's reaction to the news. Nothing he has heard has ever prepared him for this depth of compassion. "There, there, Mr. President," he says. "It is bad news, but not all that bad!" "Wait a minute," replies the President, "just wait a minute. Tell me, I forget; exactly how many are a Brazilian anyway?" |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
In Larry King's interview with Jon Stewart, Larry brought up the subject of the primaries and asked him if America was ready for a woman or a black president. Jon looked at him quizzically and said "This is such a non-question. Did anyone ask us in 2000 if Americans were ready for a moron?" |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You liberals are gonna love this one! http://www.bestofyoutube.com/video.asp?videoid=160 |
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Bob K Member Elite
since 2007-11-03
Posts 4208 |
It tickled you too, I'll bet, Mike! It was very funny. Thanks, Bob K. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Bob, I almost fell out of my chair...THAT is great humor |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
Funny? I suppose. Me, I mostly appreciated the guy off camera who kept yelling, "Cut!" I've been wanting to do that for most of eight years . . . |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Craig Ferguson said last night that there was such a roar from the tens of thousands of Germans greeting Obama that France surrendered, just in case! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ron, I know that the trials and tribulations of this whole site must hull the grain; but thank you for keeping it in place. Because it does become the bread that we all must share, no matter how it all bakes out. Loose metaphore? You bet. Your solidarity in the coming together of so many countries; states; unions; it says something that no other site that I've looked for, and can't find, that tells of your own very spine. Step back a moment; look at what you've accomplished. 11,000 plus people make up a good sized town today; no, we don't make a great city, but we DO make a difference. Everyone from every town, city, country, state, union, country; we live HERE! The difference comes when we sit back and actually look at where the others in their own countries are speaking from: and it's usually not as great as a country as this very own site. If I'm out of place by putting this small note here, Ron, you can poof me in a moment. But I get more news, and highlights of the countries' beliefs, right here, on this site, which is far more natural than anything I could watch on any publicized network. I know it's wearing on you; but know that you are doing a far better job than any network seen by people far and wide. You allow, with respect and responsibility, people to complain with respect, AND tolerance. I think you have brought more people together in the last 10 years than any other media has ever done! We can love the great night comics. But better yet, we can love the fact that we can bring our thoughts HERE. " It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love |
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