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Open Poetry #19
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Streen
Member
since 2001-11-28
Posts 169


0 posted 2002-03-14 04:23 PM


How very often have I walked
beneath the faint clouds above
oblivious to the sky--
then one day, while listening
to country music, it dawned on me--
those clouds up there might
really be me.
Well, my soul that is, I figure.
All my life I've been wandering
aimlessly on earth,
while, I could already be
a whisper on the wind,
a wispy cloud.
I reckon, human souls have just got to be
so high above mother earth
floating in the heavens,
so to speak.
Not stuck on the ground,
but way up there,
with scattered bits of water--
maybe our tears--
just suspended in the ether;
hovering over earth,
maybe that's how humans are meant to be.
Maybe that's how we are.
and when the sun rises,
dawn illuminates the clouds
and brilliancy razes on the sky.

-----------------

Any suggestions would be helpful.


© Copyright 2002 Derek Benz - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2002-03-14 04:53 PM




(smiles) WOW!!! Ooohhhh...this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, your words always make me smile, this is a wonderful re-write just as I love your first draft so much too! (big hugggssssss) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is wonderful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Derek, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton


bslicker
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
2 posted 2002-03-14 05:02 PM


Wonder if they could be me too...
Good write.


Bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Silver Streak
Member Elite
since 2002-01-02
Posts 3625
FL, USA
3 posted 2002-03-14 06:46 PM


Very perceptive. I do believe that our spirits are frequencies like radio waves which can be received anywhere in God space. Just need to dial in on the right station.

((Streen))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

RosePetal
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Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
4 posted 2002-03-14 08:27 PM


hey sweetie, I didn't get to see this poem when you posted it the first time but I'm glad I've gotten to see it now. You have some really interesting throughts throughout this poem. I love to lay in the grass and look at the clouds, but the only thinking I ever do is just compare them to shapes/objects lol.  

[This message has been edited by RosePetal (03-14-2002 08:28 PM).]

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