Open Poetry #19 |
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When You were You...repost from way, way back |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA ![]() |
When you were you and I was me, The world was happy, young and free And every day brought ecstacy When you were you and I was me. When I was me and you were you, Amid the laughs and ballyhoo, Dreams had a way of coming true When I was me and you were you. But Time has a way of changing things. The present goes; the future brings Reminders of pasts that hurt and sting And 'nothing' where once lived 'everything'. Now the past is gone and you're not you Although you say it isn't true, Small facts of life keep showing through That tell me that you're still not you. A smile that comes a second late, And food left over on your plate; The way you faintly hesitate Before saying, "Everthing is great!" No, you're not you and - nor am I This lonely look...a listless sigh The tear still there behind my eye Although I laugh instead of cry. I am now what I used to be Before I had the chance to see What's hidden deep inside of me - The happy man you let me be. And you - you'll have a happy life You'll make some lucky man a wife, And, when pain cuts you like a knife, You'll pass it off as 'marital strife'. But, if pain finally gets you down, Then get back up and look around And listen to the lonely sound Of MILLIONS who have never found... That happiness is there to see, And be glad we had the chance to be In love, and loving, tenderly When you were you and I was me. |
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© Copyright 2002 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, I am so happy you re-posted this, I wish we coulde all see that the beauty of true happiness starts in loving ourselves and appreciating what was meaningful before as well! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, you truly are a man of many words, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Michael, thank you for sharing! ![]() ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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jennirey Member
since 2002-01-24
Posts 198North Richland HillsTx |
Ive been here before, Hugs Jen Treasure every moment that you have! |
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catalinamoon![]()
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Such an excellent story of a relationship. And of life. I remember when I was myself. It seems long ago. Sandra |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
When I was me and you were you, Amid the laughs and ballyhoo, Dreams had a way of coming true When I was me and you were you. Almost makes me want to quit while I'm ahead...not really! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I know this feeling and you have written it well. Thank you for this Michael. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Love, like magic, depends on believing.~ |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* oh gosh...*sigh* I feel this one so deeply....I know this feeling...**big big hugs...dear Balladeer...even if it is from way, way back... ![]() Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Balladeer- I am me and you are you Together we are we One plus one ~ that equals two and two's better than three Don't you frown or fret, my 'deer I will be true to you Just get yourself to Phoenix and you'll see just what I'll do I'll always smile each time you're near and laugh at all your jokes I'll pay attention, just to you Who needs those other folks I'll make you feel so happy You'll stick to me like glue You may be 'hooked on Phoenix' but, 'deer, I'm hooked on YOU! ![]() Hugs, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (02-21-2002 10:55 PM).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
when i was you and you were me it got confusing, don't you see, since i sit down intuitively and you stand up, but hey, not me! ![]() but now i'm me and you are you and everything's so very new since yes, i stand, and lie there too i am not me but you are you. but now i am not making sense, you aren't me in present tense and i'm not you, i never was i know that fact, you know, because if i were you, i'd be right there right where you are, but i'm nowhere which tells me that i am not you and you're not me, this much is true. no WAIT! i've got this whole thing wrong! i've read your verse for oh so long i thought i understood it but i didn't, damn! oh well! so what? i've got it now! i think i do. when you were you, then you were you. when i was me, well, i was me but still i don't stand up to pee! ![]() . . . . (this is a really great verse you've written here, Michael! i missed it the first time around. I miss a lot, i guess. geesh.... thanks for reposting it !!!! and thanks for letting me tag onto it with a little whimsy....) ![]() |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
interesting summary of a relationship ![]() |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Oh dor...you crack me up!!! ![]() ![]() Her loss, Balladeer, her loss... ![]() ![]() |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Noah....as always, your kindness brightens my face! Thank you, sir... jennirey...many of us have...thanks for reading! Sandra...well, come back!! Your life is waiting for your return ![]() Duncan..I don't think there's much quit in you...thank the Lord!! Enchantress..you know the old "now you see me, now you don't" routine? You must be a magician!! *wink* Startime...thanks, sweet lady! A hug from you is ALWAYS welcome!! Vicky.. One plus one is definitely two but, in the case of me and you, With closeness we would feel, hon, One plus one would still be one! One times one still equals one Whenever all is said and done So, even if we multiply, We'll still be one as time goes by. One divided by one is one, too! GEE! So we can't be divided, you see! We'll always walk down Love's long path Even in the after-math!! Forget square roots! I won't go there! There is so much we can share. So come down here, my sweet fanatic Let's work on our mathematics!! ![]() Doreen...LOLOL!!! Your whimsey is warmly welcome. You can't be me - I can't be you. Wearing nylons just won't do! (regardless of how good it feels) And I can't wear stilleto heels! Won't perm my hair and I refuse To pluck my brows or put on rouge. Won't paint my lips for anyone, Though LongJohn says it's lots of fun! I can't be you, my dear, because I'd never live through menopause! Hot flashes would drive me insane And monthly things would be a pain. So you be you and I'll be me And we will go on, happily. Stick with the potty when you pee And leave the urinals to me !!!! ecrivan...one of many....thanks for reading! amusmi...she cracks everybody up...even herself!! Thank you, kind lady ![]() |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
I love this baladeer, I just love your rhythm and flow in all your poems, they are a joy to read as was this one. floria Floria |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
The storyteller strikes again...giving a whole new audience a glimpse of the "still you"... Excellent gifts you have.... |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer darling boy. This is seriously excellent writing, the flow of this is perfect, the internal pace and the construction cannot be bettered. This would be good writing with just that alone, what raises it to great writing is the way it reaches within to stir the memories of the reader. As I’ve said and so many times I’ve lost count you are a great writer. Still reiteration is always a good thing except when it is used as reasoned argument, so in this case it is allowable. You are a storyteller pas excellence ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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J. K. Mitchell Member
since 2002-01-12
Posts 311GA |
I could write a million words to say how much I love this poem. It's dyanamic. This is exactly why I love poetry. The vivid pictures...OH just wonderful. |
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Nightshade![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Balladeer - Simply awesome as always. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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Charisma![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
![]() ![]() ![]() love it. Charisma |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Bal excellent write...wonderful flow you have here. i enjoyed reading this poem very much. you are a talented writer, but this one in particular really shows of your style. perhaps its the emotional intensity of it all...*smiles* take care. amy ![]() "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Michael This made me feel so sad...so fragile are relationships..like rice paper written with dreams. Hugs, just because. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Hi ‘Deer this is Krissy (Mushy’s daughter), not sure which reply you’ll read first so I’ll leave the introduction on, just in case. I really do love this flow and rhythm of this one. Mum said you were a talented writer and she’s not often wrong about that. Actually truth to tell I have been reading your poems for a couple of weeks now, and I agree with her, which obviously goes to prove we both have great taste. This tells the story so well of a relationship on the slide and finally crashing into nothing. Oh what fools we are when we let something good slip away. Really well written, and faultless in it’s execution. Thank you for this too ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i've just a line or two for you to set it straight one time or two -- i never perm and i don't pluck! put men-on-pause? well for a buck perhaps i would if that's the deals - and yes, i wear stilletto heels!!! since when i have them on, my 'deer, can't run from you, so never fear, i'll be the one to wear them, true, so i'll be me, and you be you. ![]() hehe |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, You seemed to have started a slew of inspiration and being not immune to the call of your write I offer this. if you're not you - then who you be? to write this write confusing me it has your style it has your grace it even has your ugly ![]() if you aren't you - I won't be terse but tell me who then wrote this verse this verse in story sad and true was it me? if you weren't you? It can't be me for I have found my verse won't with your style abound so please be you until the end and I'll be me to stay your friend for I would miss the Balladeer the charming heart the songs of cheer tell me Deer and tell me true that forever you'll be you. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
strbbux...your responses are also a joy to read! Thank you, my friend... Sunshine...I just love to recycle Michael!! Thanks for being there.... Mushy...your reiterations are always wonderful creations! I thank you... J.K.Mitchell...what a wonderful thing to say...thank you VERY much ![]() Nightshade...thank you for stoppping by and enjoying! Charisma..my magical pen has been low on ink lately but I'm glad you like the repost!! amy...thank you, sweet girl. I confess there was emotion involved here. Thank you for seeing it... Martie..fragile, indeed. Your hug is ALWAYS welcome.. Krissy...very nice to meet you and welcome to our little place. Any daughter of Mushy must be an exceptional person. Thanks for responding and I appreciate your kindness very much... Doreen..Well, all my friends are from the ghettos And when they say they wear stilletos They're talking knives and not high heels They like the way stilletos feel So I'll be you in that respect And wear stilletos....what the heck!! Kethry..Don't worry, lady. I'm still me I can't be no one else, you see. I tried to be another once But wound up feeling like a dunce. I tried to be a kangaroo So I could feel at home with you But I found out I couldn't hop At all so I just had to stop. I tried to eat beans like an Aussie But Foster's makes me feel bossy So I'll stay me - what can I say? A poet in the USA... ![]() |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
And a fine poet you are... along with being a fine man and a good friend. Keth Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Marsha![]()
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
’Deer darling boy, I’m just clearing up after the small whirlwind that is Krissy has passed through Passions. Hopefully she hasn’t caused too much havoc, I can only hope so. Except that I couldn’t get near my computer to reply as she sat here writing replies to all the poets that she has enjoyed reading, it was an interesting time. (And none of the offers of hot chocolate, coffee, or hot buttered toast would prise her from my seat. Normally any of those would have worked). Your poem inspired this, so as a sort of plea bargain for inflicting Krissy on you please accept this. When You Were You I remember back when you were you The skies were clear always blue No clouds drifted across my sky My soul flew often and quite high The trees would all sigh your name My life would hum a soft refrain When you were you and I was me The world was changed magically I recall those long lost days of blue Back when you were always you The sun seemed to forever shine Your smile made me feel so fine Up there in the branches of the tree Lovebirds would sing their songs for me Way back in those days long ago How the memories of you linger so I reminisce about the when of you Wonder where you went off too I think about the here and now Try to get by some when somehow I miss the you who used to be Regret too much of what I see I wish I’d held you more back then The you who was way back when Marsha ![]() ![]() ![]() Love and warm stuff As always Mushy ![]() ![]() To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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marya2 Junior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 36 |
wow, very nice. marya [This message has been edited by marya2 (02-23-2002 11:49 AM).] |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Those guys with knives are chasing me! They've pulled them out! They're facing me! I'm running fast, I cannot breathe! Come quick, my 'deer! I've got the sheath We'll stop this running and we'll live Without the weapons! Ban the shiv! I hate this ghetto game, these seekers Chasing me! Bring your white sneakers! At times like this, you must agree It isn't easy to be me! I'm glad you're you and don't like fighting This isn't fun! It's not exciting! These 5-inch heels have got to go! I'm going barefoot now, and so Put on your tenny-runners, save me 'Fore they catch me and enslave me! Oh sigh! I know you are just you And cannot rescue me, it's true, And I am me, this verse reveals How I should toss stilletto heels! But if you ever see me there Running blind and running scared, I'll stop and wait, no fear revealed, Your Friendship is my perfect shield. ![]() [This message has been edited by doreen peri (02-23-2002 01:27 PM).] |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
But Time has a way of changing things. The present goes; the future brings Reminders of pasts that hurt and sting And 'nothing' where once lived 'everything'. I enjoyed this very much, Deer One... and was all ready for a serious thinking session after the reading... but the melancholy lasted just a moment... something to do with the responses, I think?? LOL |
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RosePetal![]() ![]()
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
hey balladeer ![]() ![]() |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Okay Michael... ![]() If you're not you and we're not us then poetry will turn to dust and fiery words to burning embers with no more poets to remember with no more rhymes to read or write Passions would be a sorry site so Balladeer, its up to you to make the foot fit in the shoe for all your poet friends to wear your poetry we love to share oh how we'd miss your rhyming stories and attitude, derogatory if someone else...you should become we'd find this website very glum. ![]() copyright2002 Lyra Nesius "poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks [This message has been edited by Madame Chipmunk (02-24-2002 11:33 PM).] |
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