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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-02-20 05:53 AM


Snow white satin, ribbons, and snow white lace,
Crystal clear water joy runs down her face,
She’s walking her last lone singular mile,
Approach togetherness with tear and smile.

“ I loved all three, and want an encore please but with another poem of course, it will give you something to do, but this time a lady in white? Paleze” requests Mysteria

Snow white,
Satin, ribbons,
Beauty beneath white lace,
Water,
Crystal clear joy,
Happy flows down her face.
Walking,
Departs her life,
Thirty feet is a mile,
Approach
Togetherness,
Changes with tear and smile.

So far I’ve kept the darkness of my soul out of it,
but the twist is ever so slight, just a form change.
Now to exercise a little additional content


Snow white, Flowing gown,
Satin, ribbons,
Beauty beneath white lace,
Wearing her mother’s wedding dress;
Water, without sound,
Crystal clear joy,
Happy flows down her face.
Tearing joy soft streaking caress;
Walking, running heart,
Departs her life,
Thirty feet is a mile.
Each step takes her further away;
Approach, newness start
Togetherness,
Changes with tear and smile;
Newness forever and a day.

Gloom
I believe I’d better leave as is,
before the darkness of my soul turns it gray




© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-02-20 06:13 AM


"Beauty beneath white lace,"

Some day, I will know what that means.



Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2002-02-20 06:19 AM


Gee Karen~I think it means a "real honest to goodness bride" ya think? Notice there were no net stockings? LOL, I'll be back to add to this I know it.  Oh PF this was great, and I just have to do a third one off it, but I am not quick like you real poets, so give me some sleep and some time and I will do it.  Thank you for the Lady In White by the way, that was quick!  

[This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-20-2002 06:25 AM).]

Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
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Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-02-20 08:58 AM




YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to see a happy ending for her, this is such a phenominal series of emotions! (big hugggsssssss) I'm so happy Mysteria requested it, you always write such outstanding words, we all love you so much, this is as sheer as white snow! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
4 posted 2002-02-20 10:00 AM


Serenity & Mysteria,
If you two plan to expand upon the poem
There is no reason that she couldn’t be wearing
White Fishnet Stocking under her satin gown.
Thank you both for responding.

Thank you, Mistletoe Angel,
Glad you liked this,
But this is not part of the series,
That is still in the works and I hope to get back to it
Soon.

Gloom

strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

5 posted 2002-02-20 12:24 PM


Wow I love them all gloom, but I particularly loved the third one. Oh yes, please keep the gloom out. LOL. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

amusemi
Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262
A State of Disarray
6 posted 2002-02-20 12:28 PM


Ah, don't be afraid of those shades of grey!!

You paint them very nicely!!


Masked Intruder
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Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
7 posted 2002-02-20 12:39 PM


Excellent form, ol' chap!  The progression was very exciting; it added volumes, I think, to the whole.  Very well done.
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
8 posted 2002-02-20 12:45 PM


Thank you, Strubbux,
Glad you did, but for me the only way to keep it out
Is to not write anymore on it,
Perhaps I might do a white to black one,
That way letting the darkness overtake.

Thank you, amusemi,
Pleased you liked, letting the shades of gray paint
Never is a problem with me,
When ever I need a dismal and gloom view
I just look in a mirror.

Gloom

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
9 posted 2002-02-20 12:48 PM


Thank you, Masked Intruder,
I am pleased you like the progression
For that was what this was about, like the Darker one
Of the other day.

Gloom

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
10 posted 2002-02-20 01:43 PM


I love  love   love  #1...  #2 is great too
  #1 is my favorite.....

Remember... under that gown is something to please the eye of her man... : )  at least if her Mom taught her well  LOL  Know when to be a Lady and when not to be  LOL

[This message has been edited by Zinsser (02-20-2002 01:45 PM).]

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
11 posted 2002-02-20 02:02 PM


I loved this poem PG, so I hope you don't mind me wrecking it

May I turn this into the picture in my mind of me once upon a time?


Snow white, Flowing gown,
satin, ribbons, freesia crown.
Beauty beneath vintage white lace,
Warm smile upon a bride’s face.
Wearing her mother’s wedding lace
this modern bride in vintage grace.

Water, without sound, one tear,
crystal clear joy, void of fear.
Happy flows down her face in the know
tearing joy soft streaking caress, in her glow.

Walking, running heart, her past gone,
departs her life, to a wife’s new song.
Thirty feet is a mile on this her day,
each step takes her further away.

Approach, newness white virgin so dear
togetherness waits, hold no fear.
Changes begin with tears and smile today
newness forever and a day to stay.

(well of course forever only lasted 5 years but what the heck)  

Live today like it was your last day on earth!
  ~* I don't know who said it but they were sure right *~



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