Open Poetry #19 |
Twisted White Poetry |
Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Snow white satin, ribbons, and snow white lace, Crystal clear water joy runs down her face, She’s walking her last lone singular mile, Approach togetherness with tear and smile. “ I loved all three, and want an encore please but with another poem of course, it will give you something to do, but this time a lady in white? Paleze” requests Mysteria Snow white, Satin, ribbons, Beauty beneath white lace, Water, Crystal clear joy, Happy flows down her face. Walking, Departs her life, Thirty feet is a mile, Approach Togetherness, Changes with tear and smile. So far I’ve kept the darkness of my soul out of it, but the twist is ever so slight, just a form change. Now to exercise a little additional content Snow white, Flowing gown, Satin, ribbons, Beauty beneath white lace, Wearing her mother’s wedding dress; Water, without sound, Crystal clear joy, Happy flows down her face. Tearing joy soft streaking caress; Walking, running heart, Departs her life, Thirty feet is a mile. Each step takes her further away; Approach, newness start Togetherness, Changes with tear and smile; Newness forever and a day. Gloom I believe I’d better leave as is, before the darkness of my soul turns it gray |
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© Copyright 2002 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"Beauty beneath white lace," Some day, I will know what that means. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Gee Karen~I think it means a "real honest to goodness bride" ya think? Notice there were no net stockings? LOL, I'll be back to add to this I know it. Oh PF this was great, and I just have to do a third one off it, but I am not quick like you real poets, so give me some sleep and some time and I will do it. Thank you for the Lady In White by the way, that was quick! [This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-20-2002 06:25 AM).] |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
YAY!!! Oh my gosh, I'm so happy to see a happy ending for her, this is such a phenominal series of emotions! (big hugggsssssss) I'm so happy Mysteria requested it, you always write such outstanding words, we all love you so much, this is as sheer as white snow! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Serenity & Mysteria, If you two plan to expand upon the poem There is no reason that she couldn’t be wearing White Fishnet Stocking under her satin gown. Thank you both for responding. Thank you, Mistletoe Angel, Glad you liked this, But this is not part of the series, That is still in the works and I hope to get back to it Soon. Gloom |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Wow I love them all gloom, but I particularly loved the third one. Oh yes, please keep the gloom out. LOL. floria Floria |
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amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
Ah, don't be afraid of those shades of grey!! You paint them very nicely!! |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
Excellent form, ol' chap! The progression was very exciting; it added volumes, I think, to the whole. Very well done. |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Strubbux, Glad you did, but for me the only way to keep it out Is to not write anymore on it, Perhaps I might do a white to black one, That way letting the darkness overtake. Thank you, amusemi, Pleased you liked, letting the shades of gray paint Never is a problem with me, When ever I need a dismal and gloom view I just look in a mirror. Gloom |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Masked Intruder, I am pleased you like the progression For that was what this was about, like the Darker one Of the other day. Gloom |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
I love love love #1... #2 is great too #1 is my favorite..... Remember... under that gown is something to please the eye of her man... : ) at least if her Mom taught her well LOL Know when to be a Lady and when not to be LOL [This message has been edited by Zinsser (02-20-2002 01:45 PM).] |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved this poem PG, so I hope you don't mind me wrecking it May I turn this into the picture in my mind of me once upon a time? Snow white, Flowing gown, satin, ribbons, freesia crown. Beauty beneath vintage white lace, Warm smile upon a bride’s face. Wearing her mother’s wedding lace this modern bride in vintage grace. Water, without sound, one tear, crystal clear joy, void of fear. Happy flows down her face in the know tearing joy soft streaking caress, in her glow. Walking, running heart, her past gone, departs her life, to a wife’s new song. Thirty feet is a mile on this her day, each step takes her further away. Approach, newness white virgin so dear togetherness waits, hold no fear. Changes begin with tears and smile today newness forever and a day to stay. (well of course forever only lasted 5 years but what the heck) Live today like it was your last day on earth! |
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