»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #19
»
Abandoned
| Open Poetry #19 |
|
Abandoned |
|
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state 
|
History flows with cradles placed on rivers modern hopes flounder, in waters we shiver; you run into my yard and say "It's mine"! then we look for answers from the devine. Come in and sit among the deserted bones come for answers in caskets made of stone? try the newspaper column, maybe the gazette will flash notices of how abandoned we get. Tramps in shabby shoes amble down pebbled paths tinted glass limos cruise by on asphalted maps; a maiden from the kingdom kneals down in the reeds abandoned babes flow past on a current, she sees. just one babe that flowed by in biblical times? hopes still flounder in the waters of the Rhine; early mines, long empty show notices they're abandoned history flows with cradles set on currents, in random. [This message has been edited by ecrivan (04-07-2002 11:22 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Martin Dansky - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Yes many are abandoned and not only tiny babes but sometimes grown children and sometimes adults, This was powerful ecrivan. floria PS I had to edit this because I had another thought, And sometimes the elderly are thrown away into homes and no one cares... Floria "Alas for those that never sing, But die with all their music in them" (Oliver Wendell Holmes) [This message has been edited by strbbux (04-06-2002 09:27 AM).] |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
That's terrible to be left lonely!I'm glad you added the extra thought Floria  [This message has been edited by ecrivan (04-06-2002 09:29 AM).] |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I like this...you are telling me to look deeper, think longer... good job! |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
ecrivan, Powerful write, but it seems the future does not learn from the past. Enjoyed |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Tramps in shabby shoes amble down pebbled paths tinted glass limos cruise by on asphalted maps; a maiden from the kingdom kneals down in the reeds abandoned babes flow past on a current, she sees. I love the way you portrayed this one, Martin History was changed because Moses was rescued from the river..... an excellent write, and I can see that you put lots of thought into it.  ~thoughtful hugs~copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
ecrivan A thought filled look made into words well done. Thank you. |
||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Martin, this is soooooo very heartaching, sweet friend, just the vision of iagining a child in a cradle and being swept across the ocean without someone to nurture it truly breaks my heart and how so many, such as our children and elderly, too are abandoned somehow and I always feel sad wondering how they feel and how they can cope without our attention in objection! (sad sigh) This is sad but powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martin, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Right on Lyra, he changed the course of history, one course or many?... like Sy says we never learn! |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Martie, always a pleasure to dig into topics, and dig I do  |
||
|
ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Hello my friend, This time it is you that has done the spinning in my head... As I read your words, they transport me to all the stories of old and there is fusion with the today...passing each other in blindness. On some level we are only able to cope in a state of numbness. You bring color back to the black and white of a gray world, and I thank you for that. ThisDiamond |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
neat analyisis Diamond |
||
|
Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
ecrivan...Enjoyed this historical poem. Great comparison and imagery of the abandoned implied by your poem. WONDERFUL WRITING!!!! ***Ivy Rose |
||
|
ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Dear Ivy, appreciate your comments here, would love to more on this style  [This message has been edited by ecrivan (04-07-2002 11:19 AM).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
