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Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

0 posted 2002-03-27 10:31 AM

I sat numb to everything.
My life laying at my feet,
resembling the shards of broken crystal
in the bottom of the trash.

In the correct light, beautiful.
But all in all.. not of much use to anyone.

I watched him closely.
Measuring each shallow breath.
My palm itching to pick up the phone.

My promise that I wouldn't hanging in the air.

The pills had disolved so quickly.
Leaving behind just a tint of green
as they swirled away to some unknown place.

I wonder, there have been many times I
thought of taking this same trip.
Ironic that I now get this birds eye view.

My mind plays back the day.
Like some strange VCR player,
pausing at the strangest places.

His tears and the sound of his voice
telling me he loved me and was sorry.

The realization that the end,
in whatever form
will be painful.

My fingers at his lips
as I forced him
to take back what he had done.

I watch, and wait.

Every sound in the universe
dissolves, leaving only the shallow
whispers of his breathing.

Fear,
for him,
for me,
for us.

The shadows of the day move across his form.
Until all that is left is me, alone in the dark,
with the whispers of his shallow breath.

Tomorrow I will make him see how much I love him.
Tomorrow, he will breathe with me.

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

1 posted 2002-03-27 10:39 AM

"I sat numb to everything.
My life laying at my feet,
resembling the shards of broken crystal
in the bottom of the trash.

In the correct light, beautiful.
But all in all.. not of much use to anyone."

Refreshing use of imagery and analogy.

I enjoyed this writing very much. Your words drew me in to your state of mind.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

2 posted 2002-03-27 02:28 PM

This is truly one of the most amazing poems I've read here.

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

3 posted 2002-03-27 02:39 PM

Lucy, I have to agree whole-heartedly with Duncan this is in fact the best portrayal of a witness to this act I have ever read, and I have indeed heard many accounts of this. I truly commend you for this account in poetry.

~* Reality is an illusion ~ albeit a persistant one *~
Albert Einstein

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

4 posted 2002-03-29 03:55 PM

I feel the pain you express so well here Lucie. And the love...this is very well done!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2002-03-29 03:57 PM

How very hard this must have been, but how strong of you to believe that there is always hope, and that one should never give up! This must have been a difficult piece to write...thank you so much for sharing...

Lucie
Senior Member

since 1999-06-20

Posts 1077
Houston

6 posted 2002-03-29 06:22 PM

I appreciate the responses I have received on this piece. I am dealing with a few difficult issues in my life at the moment, but for those of you that have known and read my poetry since I came here, you know that this is nothing new.

Here's to better days and hopes of sighting a few butterflies just for Balladeer.

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

7 posted 2002-03-30 12:03 PM

ROFL!!! I got butterflies coming out of my ears!!!

Luce, those of us who know you know that you have had your share of tough times and we also know that you've come through them all out of sheer strength and determination. If it helps you to write of them, then do it. We are here for you..

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

8 posted 2002-03-30 06:03 AM

Lucie,
such pain and in the end such hope and promise...or maybe not.
I loved these lines
"Tomorrow I will make him see how much I love him.
Tomorrow, he will breathe with me."

Kethry

Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

9 posted 2002-03-30 01:37 PM

hey Luce - long time no see. (you've probably been around, i get lost sometimes though) want to ditto what Bal said, and also say that i FELT this...

Hugs

C

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

10 posted 2002-03-30 01:49 PM

Lucie,
Yes there is always tomorrow. Good write.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

11 posted 2002-03-30 06:49 PM

Lucie~

There is hope....Peace to you...

Lauren~

~Greeneyes~

Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into th

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