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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2002-03-28 07:14 AM

It seems lonely tonight
With your need to be free,
Much like the silent night -
But, if you wish, hold me
O darling, hold me tight
And let the feelings free.

Love seems to break away,
Can see it in your eyes;
Let’s give it one more try -
Place the bets, roll the dice
Let’s give love one more chance
Give love another dance.

Tomorrow's far away,
We have tonight to share,
Like time passing seasons,
My love can wipe your tears,
So open up your heart
And show me where to start.

Love seems to break away
Can see it in your eyes;
Let’s give it one more try
Place the bets, roll the dice
Let’s give love one more chance
Give love another dance

And morning tomorrow,
If you intend to fly;
You will be free to go -
And deep inside my sighs,
I shall hide my sorrow
And smile you a goodbye.

But tonight, my darling,
Don’t think of the morning;
Tonight with the moon rise,
Place your bets, roll the dice
And give love one more chance,
Give love another dance.

Darling, just one more chance
Sugar, just one more dance
Darling, just one more chance
Honey, just one more dance

----

This is an attempt in writing some kind of a sad love song... feel free to tell me what you feel about it...

Thanks,
Sudhir

Severn
Member Rara Avis

since 1999-07-17

Posts 7704

1 posted 2002-03-28 08:18 AM

I knew this was a song...I was thinking...'this sounds like a song' and I was going to tell you so...heh...and lo and behold - there's your disclaimer...

Needs a bit of tightening up in my opinion, you know what i mean by that right? But I like it Suddy...it definitely reads how you intended...

good to see your words again

K

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2002-03-28 08:24 AM

Sudhir,
I like it well done.

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

3 posted 2002-03-28 12:21 PM

(big huggggsssssssss) Oh Sudhir, this is so very sad but soooo beautiful, sweet friend, I think this would make a wonderful song! (sigh) I too hope she lets you have a second chance, sweet friend, you deserve the greatest happiness always, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sudhir, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

4 posted 2002-03-28 04:02 PM

I like it too my friend. . . and, I'll go along with K in saying that the flow needs to be a little better. . . but, I love the idea of it. . . you make it indeed sing. . .

well done. . .

-----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

5 posted 2002-03-28 04:07 PM

Its beautiful....now can we hear you sing it??

lovely thoughts....be well

Lauren~

~Greeneyes~

Step through the
barrier of my mind,
enter my soul,
feel my desire,
let my eyes guide you
into th

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

6 posted 2002-03-29 10:25 AM

I love it, Sudhir... I was singing it to myself before I read that it's a song... so it works very well for me. *S* Beautiful!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2002-03-29 10:58 AM

Suddy...this is a wonderful song...but I would heed your listening to Severn's advice...she's a good critic, and I've learned much from her input!

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

8 posted 2002-03-29 11:01 AM

*sigh* oh yes...you have done a wonderful job writing this sad song...Beautiful...**big hugs**
Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

9 posted 2002-03-29 11:15 AM

And morning tomorrow,
If you intend to fly;
You will be free to go -
And deep inside my sighs,
I shall hide my sorrow
And smile you a goodbye.

I felt this!
and loved how you wrote it.
It is sad but true.

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

10 posted 2002-03-29 05:26 PM

Very Romantic indeed..a lovely song..enjoyed

~Victoria

"If music be the food of love, play on." (William Shakespeare)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

11 posted 2002-03-29 07:44 PM

Sudhir, this is beautiful...sad but romantic!
Enjoyed, hugs.

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

12 posted 2002-04-02 03:36 AM

Thank you all so very much... you guys are simply great...

Regards,
Sudhir

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