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Open Poetry #19
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Dead March
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Dead March |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I tried to speak But the sound of your voice Had you so entranced you didn’t notice The way what I had said earlier Was being turned into razor bladed banter That slashed unrelentingly at The intention Bleed it When it lies there lifeless Don’t look at me and wonder Why the dead stare Is all you see in my eyes Or why a heart that has stopped Can no longer beat in rhythm To the drum you play It’s your march Not mine |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Whew! I would say you told her! Great use of the words here, Ron. Very impressive Sandra |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
"Ahem. Here are your Marching Orders. There's the gate." Very good... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sandra: Never really told anyone these things, although I have felt them. Just writing from memory to meet Soliel's request for seconds on the edgy stuff. Soliel: Prefer your edgy with more vivid images or does this meet your request for seconds? :-) Thanks to you both for the comments... they are always appreciated... and truthfully unexpected. Ron |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron...edgy huh? A very sharp edge. "I tried to speak But the sound of your voice Had you so entranced you didn’t notice" I've known people like this...it hurts to say words that are not heard. Good write of feeling. |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Or maybe the title could be "wallpaper". I liked it. Inspires one, too . . . Hey! Kraw' "As soon as the generals and the politicos can predict the motions of your mind, lose it." Wendell Berry |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
I have to hand it to you and the way you wrap up the endings in your poems. We all march to a different drummer, and keep time to our own rhythm if you will. I'd say as long as we've got it, no one can rain on our parade.  It's like saying, it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. So much for my two cents, I liked this alot. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Ron, I know how you feel, this too saddens me to know so many whose words are never listened to and I pray too someone can have the time to listen to them and sensitively open themselves to each other! (sigh) This is wonderfully said, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I tried to speak But the sound of your voice Had you so entranced you didn’t notice This reminded me of the old saying that with one mouth and two ears we should listen twice as much as we talk. *S* I like this very much, Cpat... though I'd sure hate to be on the receiving end. *G* |
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lunatic Member
since 2001-04-20
Posts 172 |
Marching to the beat of a different drum. Interesting write my friend |
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