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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-03-25 06:55 AM

Just In Case...Faith

My sister's middle name is Faith.
I sometimes wonder why I
was given just a simple one,
not Hope, or Charity, but Jay.
Being the positive one, I was always smiling,
always trusting, sticking to my beliefs,
lending myself to others.
I was just thinking how much though,
she needs faith right now...
waiting for a transplant.

I haven't spoken to her
as often as I should or use to,
not wishing to burden her,
afraid I would break down,
and cause her more worry.

I tried to yesterday, but I think
she is beginning to build walls.
We do that in our family,
when we don't wish to show
a lack of control, to one another.

She is made of stamina, yet
a walking skeleton of herself.
She, going through this ordeal,
mine parallel to hers,
each putting up a front
when together.
I have only seen her cry once,
when trying to tell me,
a few months back,
how she has organized her life,
just in case.

I remember doing that once,
when I was going in for some testing.
I made lists of bills, when to pay them,
where all important papers were
and who to contact when.

I straightened every bureau drawer.
After all, I didn't want anyone
to enter my home
and say I wasn't the "perfect" wife,
the "perfect" homemaker.

We both laughed about that,
the last time we were together.

Today I will try to call her again,
be her bright spot in the day.
Then, I will begin to staighten my life again,
wondering, if this too,
is my time of "just in case".

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

Victoria

Member Ascendant

since 2000-08-12

Posts 5869

1 posted 2002-03-25 10:17 AM

I hope your sis will have faith that she will get that transplant real soon hon..must be very upsetting for you all..hugss

~Victoria

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2002-03-25 10:37 AM

You have made a wonderful choice.
Is your middle name Charity?

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

3 posted 2002-03-25 12:00 PM

this is so sad and yet so beautiful!
your sister will be in my thoughts and
prayers and I hope she gets her transplant
and quickly. as for you please hang in there. maybe you and your sister could
find a way to talk honestly with one another
without the walls, sometimes communication
is the best key! just some friendly advice.
i know it's hard though...me and my sister
do the same thing and havent talked in
quite some time, but for a different reason.
take care and God bless.

Amy

"you can't stop
the rain
from pouring down
can't stop the
world from turning 'round
can't stop me from
loving you
no matter
what you do

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

4 posted 2002-03-25 12:33 PM

Oh Maureen this is so sad, I truly hope she will be ok. And you too, you are worrying much about her, I think the phone call is a good idea. And oh that ending, wow, I am like, please don't think anything will happen to you. Great poem. lots of feelings in here.floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

5 posted 2002-03-25 01:08 PM

Maureen, you and Faith are both in my
prayers...and your feelings are beautifully
expressed within this poem...YES...try to
call again....

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

6 posted 2002-03-25 07:27 PM

thanks everyone... "just in case" you didn't understand..we don't have walls built between us, we are best of friends...there are just some times when she seems to wish to be left alone, that to listen to others lives or talk about herself tires her out, worries her beyond what she needs right now...and I didn't call her today. I took a short trip and visited with her instead and we had a wonderful afternoon..she letting out all the negatives she needed to and me..well ...trying to not cough or choke in front of her.*s

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

7 posted 2002-03-27 12:29 PM

Nice expression of the feelings you have concerning your sister...hope good things happen...James

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

8 posted 2002-03-27 12:37 PM

M,
That's what sisters are for! Way cool for you both. But tough times I know. Courage and faith to you both. lc

Magicmystery
Senior Member

since 2002-02-13

Posts 821
Windsor, Ontario, Canada

9 posted 2002-03-27 12:41 PM

I know it is so hard to appear strong when someone you love dearly is taken ill. I sincerely hope that your sister gets her transplant soon.... I appreciated the frankness of this piece. Remember you can never be anyone other than youself.

Love, Light and Peace,

Sherry

Cherish the good memories past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow.
But above all... be kind to yourself today.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2002-03-27 01:55 AM

I can be a sister if you wanna choke in front of me...but if you start turning blue, I'm calling 911 LOL

In all seriousness, I'm here if you need someone.

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

11 posted 2002-03-27 05:03 PM

sad

but enjoyed

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

12 posted 2002-03-27 09:45 PM

(tears fall down my cheeks) God Bless You, sweet friend, Compassion is truly your middle name and your heart always shines with so much love to share! (BIG HUGGGSSSSSS) Faith will always be her middle name and I pray with all my heart she will get the transplant and in the end she will be healed and again embrace you with happiness and hope! (sigh) I join you in your prayers, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maureen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

13 posted 2002-03-27 11:22 PM

Maureen...Your dear sister needs an angel right now.

this angel's name is Lyra, she is playing the lyre...and she will offer up some prayers that your sister gets her transplant soon.

I can certainly identify with the tidying up and getting things ready, as I have been doing a bit of that myself...when I have the time and energy.

I'm glad you're going to call her...Please try ot break down that wall...and of course, my prayers will be with her and with you.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

14 posted 2002-03-28 01:17 PM

thank you all again..have been to visit her twice this week and spoke again to her this morning...she actually cheers me up with her outlook on life..and

passing shadows..well you are welcome to be my sister..and if I do choke or stop breathing..it would be nice to know someone would call 911 for me.. you are very sweet..
hugsss
M

Lyra, I don't want you worrying about me.. keep yourself well...I will probably be coughing myself to the Doctors again on Monday and demand for something else to try and stop it
..I really do feel weak from it all...but that allows me to read in passions...so it's not all that bad

hugss..I too am not celebrating the holiday this year...although I may make that soup this afternoon..I think I can handle that much. *s

hugssss again
M

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