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Open Poetry #19
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Noticed
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Noticed |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
She was probably in her thirties But still had a tomboy look about her And eyes that seemed to have seen more Than they wanted to remember about men Yet still tried half smiles when Her mouth made an upturned sweep Of plastered pleasant greeting. It was after all her job. One she’d been doing to make ends Tie to other ends affording her a place to sleep Last years off the rack designs That showed her assets to their best advantage And provided men like me with hints Of how she might have wrestled for fun As a kid. I grinned back When she asked if we had met before Knowing we hadn’t But glad she asked |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Your "grin" sweeps this page....and you shared it very well.... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
But still had a tomboy look about her And eyes that seemed to have seen more Than they wanted to remember about men Yet still tried half smiles when Her mouth made an upturned sweep =================================== I see we have "people watching" in common... I'm so fascinated by the little things that often go unnoticed...must be why that applies to your poetry as well.  Of all the things in me I could never be, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Good Morning, Ron...Your eyes take in a lot more then what you see on the outside...not everyone can do that..makes for a captivating poem. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Great write, Ron. I can see it all transpire. I understand her too. Sandra |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Very nice expression of what you saw. floria Floria |
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Zinsser Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641Calif. |
Very nice.... well done.... Kinda sad |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
Cpat, you do that grin read well...really enjoyed it |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
How good is this!? |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Senor' Hair: she was a backward glance stare as you waited in the cheap seats suddenly aware you can now afford courtside Very special submission, beautifully assembled, respectably offered. tSR |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
you are so awesome I love how your words let me see  |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Wow!!! I agree with everyone else who commented already, your words have such a wonderful unique way of helping us both see and understand the expressions of others clearly! (big hugggssssss) This is a true delight, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I love the way I can actually see these women you write about. The way you make so visual without description, really...I don't know how to put it. It takes me in. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
And eyes that seemed to have seen more Than they wanted to remember about men Yet still tried half smiles when Her mouth made an upturned sweep Of plastered pleasant greeting. It was after all her job. I like it, I like it!! You couldn't have got any closer to hitting the nail on the head. It's all in a days work!! Nice writing you. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Cpt Hair darling boy now this is one of your utter utter best, I love it. YOU have such a fabulous talent and in this you portray it to pure perfection. Outstanding writing as always you show how well you can write I love the way you show us what you see   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy  To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Cpt...this poem is absolutely awesome! Your imagery is so vivid that I could practically reach out and be her... and I can see that big grin sweeping right across your face... and I've never even seen your face! copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
is this about me? MY GOODNESS! You've described me here and I'm wondering how you did it |
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