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Open Poetry #19
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The love you've never shown
| Open Poetry #19 |
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The love you've never shown |
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butterflykiss989 Member
since 2002-02-19
Posts 52 |
What can I say to a father who was never really there, To see me smile, to watch me grow, to even care? Why you left me I may never know, I just can't understand why you didn't want to watch your daughters grow. I have memories of you this is true I remember sitting on the porch waiting for you. It was fathers day much time had passed I couldn't even recall when I had seen you last. I was young and so naive To think that you would come for me. All day through I didn't geive up hope, I sat in the porch refusing to mope. I seen the tears in my mothers eyes As she watched me sit there hoping there was truth in you lies. As she came and told me it was time for bed No mommy I cannot go my daddy loves me I silently said He is coming just running late Or maybe he has forgotten the date. I made him a present that I want him to see I promise I'll be as good as he wants me to be. I thought maybe this time I was deserving of your heart I had tried so hard so your rejection just tore me apart. I thought this time would be different, I truele believed When you said you missed, loved, and thought about me. But that day was the same as all the rest I could feel my little heart breaking inside my chest. That night as I tried to make myself sleep All I could do was sit in the dark and weep. What was it I had done so wrong? How was I supposed to stay strong? All I wanted was for you to see The wonderful daughter that you had in me. I didn't want money or toys just your time I just wanted you to love me was that such a crime? I blamed myself for you going away Maybe if I had been better you wouldn't have left me that day. I was just a young girl not yet even five I didnt understand why my daddy didnt care if I was alive. Why didnt you love me, why didnt you care? Why couldnt you have taken some time just to be there? So many days spent crying over you That is not what a father should make his daughter do. I am no longer a child for I have grown No thanks to you and the love you've never shown. Now all I can see when I hear your name Is that card I made and its tear stained frame. I hope you realize what you have done For the tales of the past cannot be unspun. You left me then so I cannot love you now To be honset with you I wouldnt even know how. I am truely sorry that things have turned out this way But you left me when I needed you whay more can I say? I will not let you enjoy the triumphs in my life For you were never there to help me with the pain and the strife. I am moving forward not I realized I was never truley to blame. You leaving was you decision, to you my life was just a game. So goodbye to you my father who was never really my dad, You missed out on the best thing you ever had. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Stephanie Ashteneau - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
This work touched deeply into my own life...and you have said well. Just as I uncovered the pain to release it, I realized that I would relive it. A masterpiece here and one worth keeping unto itself...remember that every man is not thy father. Much Love, ThisDiamond |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Stephanie, this is sooooooo heartbreaking, my heart goes out to you and your tears, shame on him for never loving you the way you deserve to be treated! (sad sigh) We are all soooo proud of you and the determination you show in your words, sweet friend, if your dad can't love you like he should then he doesn't deserve you, though I hope someday he will have the heart to forgive you and somehow he can make it up to you! (big hugggsssssss) My thoughts and prayers are with you always, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Stephanie, thank you for sharing!  May love and light alwys shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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RosePetal
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985South Florida |
 oh sweetie, my eyes are all watery now!Never believe that is it your fault that your dad left. It was his careless choice, and I'll bet he regrets his choice because he didnt get to see you grow into such a beautiful young woman. Hold your head up high (hugs) |
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butterflykiss989 Member
since 2002-02-19
Posts 52 |
Thank you for your kind words.. this was a hard subject to write about and I am glad I did... I am also very glad I chose to post it here for I have recieved nothing but support since my first visit to passions in poetry and it is greatly appreciated.... |
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baerlon Member
since 2000-01-14
Posts 197Youngstown and East Liverpool, Ohio, USA |
I really was touched by this poem. My dad left me when i was a child too, but i was lucky enough to have a step father become my real father as far as i am concerned. I hope you had someone step in like my step dad did for me. Thanks for sharing. There's a peace inside us all |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
My husband left when my oldest son was 5 and my younger boy wasn't a year old. I know they suffered missing him, and I did what I could to let them know they were loved. It's too bad that men can do this and never realize until it's too late that they've ruined their own lives and hurt innocents. A very good poem, butterflykiss, very good. Nan |
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Soleil Noir Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688USA |
I don't know this kind of hurt except that felt by my own children due to a divorce. I cannot even imagine what it must be like to not have a father around. But I can imagine what it is like to remove a father who would have been worse for the having around. |
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Dunphy Member
since 2002-03-14
Posts 82Massachusetts USA |
i like ur rhymes it's phat. i love rhymes my slef and your poem was emtional and it made me think. i hope you come out wit more poems i like you work you are doin a good job keep it up. i hope you come out wit some more. i really thought it was a nice poem. love kevin reid aka dunphy 18 m mass usa |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy  |
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butterflykiss989 Member
since 2002-02-19
Posts 52 |
Once again thank everyone for there comments... I realize that there are many people out there who have felt the pain of having a parent leave them and not understanding why although I am still young (18) I believe I am dealing with my pain in the most adult way possible... Not having a father growing up causes me to be very cautious with who I am involved in now... I hope that hearing about someone elses experiences help people to realize that there are not the only ones who are going through this and that it is not there fault when I realized it I felt mush better about myself... I dont wish for anyone to experience the loss of a parent not by fate but by there own choice... it really hurts.. |
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