Then And Now ... in Blendships ( Soliloquy)

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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2002-03-17 08:59 AM

Then And Now in "Blendships" ( Soliloquy)

Then...
Tethered (7-22-2k)

Wondering why my timing is so poor...
Is fate intervening drawing from me
This constant yearning, a cancer spreading?
Listening to sounds of heaven's release,
Thunderous, as these tears trickling down
Join those I watch on the misted windows.
Increasing day by day, my emptiness
Until this morn, when it rained upon me,
Thinking how every moment of feeling
Pains me in pleasure, in want, need of you
To reach into your heart and allow them,
The words needed, to quell my "explosive",
Emotions, that clamor to rhythm heard,
As each bolt strikes and the seconds follow.
Why I ask? Why is it that I rely
On others to gift upon me rainbows,
To color my world in shades of loving,
Removing the grayness that tethers me
To this negative world where I reside?
I am corrupted by these pleasure thoughts
Wondering, waiting, for time's replacement
Of my pains to pleasure, releasing me.

And Now...
Unleashed

Only through the eyes of others, do I now see
How much a victim I had been, all those tears
Wasted for what "could have beens".
How being abandoned by love, didn't mean
That I had to abandon myself and all in my past.
Value, worth, wisdom and yes, don't forget talent...
I had all of those and yet strangely receded into a world
Lacking of all, even if only temporarily, but not realizing
I had given up myself, in search of, something I already had.
Pity, pity that I had done so and that my path
Had to take me here, where my sorrow
Showed me no mercy, where I became blinded to
My extensions, never identifying with the Me
On the other side of that mirror.
Oh Alice, you have saved me from my fall.
Through that looking glass, I see my nakedness,
My indifference to all, mourning what I thought lost to me,
When all along it was resting inside, awaiting an opening,
A crack in the facade...I celebrate today,
Knowing those rainbows are there, the gold already received,
Treasured, encased in my heart, from the touches
That unleashed the ties, that bound me to the ache
Once imprisoning me, until now...

3-17-02

* a thank you to the many who have always tried their best to assure me of who I am, through what I was and already had accomplished, and watched, waiting, wondering if I would fail or realize that I already had all I needed to again succeed...
You know who you are...My warmest to you, always

M

"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (03-17-2002 09:07 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2002-03-17 09:04 AM

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2002-03-17 09:11 AM

Maureen,
Read this once a day and you'll be fine. A wonderful write.

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

3 posted 2002-03-17 09:22 AM

Big Hugssss (((Karilea))...I don't know what has come over me...but I like it *s

M

Sy..oh I have been reading and rereading me all morning...until just the right words of my past left me with the impact I needed to express how I am feeling today...which is wonderfully tired...*s
Thank you for your encouragement
hugss
M

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2002-03-17 01:57 PM

BRAVO!!! Oh my gosh, this is absolutely beautiful, I agree with Seymour, read this to yourself again and again and assimilate all your hearts intentions dearly through your gorgeous verse, and know there is a rainbow that will always stretch within you from your heart of gold with promise! (kiss on cheek) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is excellent! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Maureen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

5 posted 2002-03-17 02:10 PM

Wow, that’s all I can say, is wow. An amazing piece Maureen, and an amazing voyage of self discovery. So glad that you find yourself in the place you are now. I’m so happy for you. Never again to judge yourself by others. It may have taken time to get there, but you make sure you stay there now.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Silver Streak
Member Elite

since 2002-01-02

Posts 3625
FL, USA

6 posted 2002-03-17 05:17 PM

Maureen, you are wonderful! You have always been wonderful! You were the only one doubting. Never for one split second did I doubt you. Go Maureen, go!!! Wheeee!

((Maureen))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

7 posted 2002-03-17 07:55 PM

Here's a toast to you, Maureen for reaching your destination on your voyage to self discovery .