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| Open Poetry #19 |
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Cast Off |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia 
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In slithered skin of scaled guilt Dwelling in the ash and silt Walking on the lesser path Hiding from the aftermath Groaning round pits of despair Seeking out the when and where Finding pain in all you do Imaged eyes to see you through Facets deep and diamond sharp Scaled guilt impassioned harp Living proof that lies grow strong In slithering of love gone wrong Wake to dark of hope grown dim Forklike breath from snakelike skin Cast off the love that's almost done Rise from ash and move along. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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| © Copyright 2002 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
The beauty of your words shine right through the despair ~ excellent |
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Barbara Lowell New Member
since 2002-02-03
Posts 2Texas |
Great work. The last line is my favorite, an excellent ending. |
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bslicker 
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321state of mind |
Oh yea rising from the ash like the Phoenix.. Good write!  Bernie A smile a day keeps the world in smile's. Bernie Slicker [This message has been edited by bslicker (03-16-2002 07:25 AM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
A good one, Kethry...very good! *s M |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...rise from ash and move along... Ah...yes, the Phoenix comes again... |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Kethp my favourite auntie THIS is why I joined PIP’s because YOU are such a brilliant writer. I simply had to drop little notes of appreciation on your posts. This really is exceptional writing, as mum says there is only ONE Kethp, and she can really WRITE. And she’s absolutely right you can really write   Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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GenXer Senior Member
since 2001-12-15
Posts 583USA |
Keth - Read this fine write a few times and took a couple of meanings out of it. One of someone hurt by love, but in the end rises above the hurt. The other of a snake that caused the hurt and easily sheds their guilt and moves along in the end. I'm not the best at interpreting, so let me know if I'm way off. Dave |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Living proof that lies grow strong In slithering of love gone wrong I love these lines, Kethry... love the last one even more. *S* The pain is palpable... but the strength shows... Well done! |
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peaches73533 Senior Member
since 2001-11-04
Posts 981OK, USA |
I love the last two lines.Shows strength and power, even in your deepest despair.Great write. Peaches |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggsssssss) Oh Kethry, this is a very powerful expression of despair and rising evermore from it with hope for something more, sweet friend, I love it!!! (sigh) We all love you so much, sweet friend, this is powerful! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kethry, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Rex, thanks for the compliment and the words of encouragement. Barbara, I don't believe I've heard from you before, in which case I will seek out your work and thank you there. Thanks for stopping by. Bernie, rising from the ash is one explanation. Thank you for seeing it. nakdthoughts, high praise indeed, thank you. Sunshine, I guess the phoenix in me cannot be stilled, thank you. Krissy, you sound just like your mother. Thanks for the abundant praise. GenXer, thank you for both meanings. I think the second explanation is closer to my intention but...you know what intentions are like even good ones. suthern, always, always! You lift my heart and my spirit with your words of encouragement, thank you. peaches, I appreciate that you saw some strength in the poem, thank you. Noah, dear boy, where would I be without your praise and enthusiasm ... somewhere on a scrapheap I suspect, trying vainly to rise and conquer. Thank you so much. Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Lynne This was wonderful and certainly held an important message......well done! Take care......Sue Suetang |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Keth this is so so nice. "Living proof that lies grow strong In slithering of love gone wrong" How true are these words, I loved this poem, well done. floria Floria |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Wow! This would certainly make someone slither...feeling like a snake! |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Dear Kethry, I've never especially liked snakes, and I don't like this one either. He sounds like a mean slitherer. Loved the use of language though, and very good images-I could see him molt out of the old guilty skin and go merrily on his nasty snaky way. Nan |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Keth darling sister of my heart and holder of the stars light this was as usual for you utterly utterly wonderful. Visual and expressive, it carries within it a message of eventual salvation and hope. Do I love this poem from you? Well I don’t know does the wave move across the ocean, does the wind still caress the leaves on the tree? Then if so I think you can take it that I love this poem. You are an utterly UTTERLY superb writer and this is fabulous. I always enjoy your writing and this is just sooooooo wonderful. Such an amazing and powerful piece of writing. Wonderful Utterly wonderful   Love and warm stuff As always Mushy To give light to them that sit in darkness..... to guide our feet into the way of peace Luke 2:79 |
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ShadowRider Senior Member
since 2001-07-14
Posts 1038USA |
Kethry; this is a splendid selection of extended metaphor! Couldn't be any more appropo' being analagous to serpentine guys and cast away skins from days that did not work! You have a poets eye and a literary mind. That's a great combo for some great writing! JkF |
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