Open Poetry #19 |
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Where once an oak, is |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) ![]() |
Where once an oak, is now a tallow tree Before this winding road a sharper curve The pungent tar that paved the patchwork years And now the yellow streaks are slowing still I see the picket fences are the same Each woven cross is held up by the next But through decay, I still can pick my teeth As if I want that sharpness in my bones To haunt the times of when I hungered most Would be the times my will was stronger yet I hear my mother call me as I crept The withered oak to dance on edge of wall I wavered back and forth on hinging wind The tinge of guilt my frame could not support I'd been as sullen, slow, but yet survived The summers heat; the winters gnawing pang To wanderlust the way from oak to street And find the path was winding to obey So have I lied myself into a sleep? The way is short but still the road is long I watch the cars indifferently return At both the ends were lined a cul-de-sac I once was on the track they both are now Opposing forces hoping for a crash As now I want to pick my teeth of meat I sit and think of times I hungered most My mother was a cross some years ago And I was left without direction home My father woven to her not too long And I was left with nothing but this street A Chinese tallow tree where once an oak And now a sweet gum stands before my eyes As weeping willows shade my mourning walk I do not feel as hungry as I've been To seldom see a wave or smiling face I must be sated since I walk this road To see the empty houses full of life [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (03-14-2002 12:18 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
![]() ![]() ![]() (sigh) Wow, these are such powerful perspectives of life as you take a stroll through your beighborhood, sweet friend, this is excellent and so very well-expressed! (big hugggsssss) Your words always amaze me, sweet friend, this is marvelous, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Walter, thank you for sharing! ![]() May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is a tooth-pickin' blank verser that hummmmmms in iambic pentameter... Kewlers, walty... ![]() |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent Walt!!! You sure are getting alot out of your poetry class! ![]() ![]() |
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Mysteria![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
My goodness this was simply great Walt, the whole story, meter, everything! I agree, if you are taking a poetry class it must be a great asset to you, as this was exceptional work. The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
whether fictional or not, this is one of your best Walt..one I wish to save as many lines have caught meaning to me. *s Hope you are feeling better. hugsss M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." |
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Marge Tindal![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Walt~ A wonderfully nostalgic walk this morning~ Most enjoyable read~ *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
walt... i need to go browse through some other stuff... no harm meant toward your other poetry, but this suits me so much better than some of the older stuff. this was a broad, honest feeling that captured my attention in the very first line and held it with an iron grip of interest throughout. i am very impressed m'man, very impressed. quote:should have been overdoing it... but somehow, in the mood of this poem, you pulled it off and made this the best line. peace C |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
i wanted to thank you all so much. I am about to go turn this into class and I get a lil sheepish at the chance I might have to read in front of class. Thanks all for the boost of confidence!! |
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suthern![]() ![]()
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is wonderful, wow... one to be very proud of. *S* I especially like the last verse... your words paint a vivid picture of time and things changing... whether we're ready for those changes or not. Well done! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Excellent Walty, so good to read you again, it has been so long. ![]() Maree |
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elisaseyes Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 196fort worth texas |
Well you didn't get to read it in class and anyway I am the reason you have class but I digress nice poem Walt. ![]() |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...where once an oak, is... rebirth... well done Walt...this brought a lot back.... |
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