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Open Poetry #19
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Mask [an attempted pantoum from Poetry Workshop]
| Open Poetry #19 |
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Mask [an attempted pantoum from Poetry Workshop] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Mask A mask behind which one hides Surreptitious movement finds All the fear that one abides When masked within the mind Surreptitious movement finds Strength beyond the norm When masked within the mind A style and grace is formed Strength beyond the norm Remaining within her know A style and grace is formed Her peace again will flow Remaining within her know There is a current she will ride Her peace again will flow Alone in the evening’s tide There is a current she will ride Though no longer will abide, Alone in the evening’s tide A mask behind which one hides |
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| © Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
WOW!!!!This poem is magnificent....not an attempt but a roaring success...I love it...and it is so very true...  **big hugs**  Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
wondiferous! Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) YAY!!! OH MY GOSH, THIS IS A FABULOUS PANTOUM, I LOVE IT!!! You express hideen emotions and apprehension to what the future holds in a persons mind so well, may we all find that time when we can take off our masks and wear a happy smile of hope upon our faces! (big hugggssssss) This is outstading, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Beautifully done Karilea! I should learn how to do this but it looks difficult, even though you pull it off with such ease! Excellent!! Enjoyed much this late afternoon. ~Hugs, Nancy~ ~Sometimes all you really wish for... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
well done my friend. . . I like the flow of this. . . the phrases are well chosen, and to make them fit a scheme is just one more way that your knowledge of the form shows. . . excellent. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Krissy Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556kent England |
Auntie Kari this is stupendous, really fine writing skills shown here you really are an excellent writer. From what I can see I’d say you’d made a success of this form, it really is very very good. The second line of the verse becomes the first line of the next verse? It does look amazingly difficult I’ll leave it to the clever ones like you Well done very well done   Love and warm stuff As always Krissy And while thy willing soul transpiers |
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Effigy Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486disbelief |
Wonderfully well done. Maybe I'll give it a try. I can only hope it comes out as well as this. |
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strbbux Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859 |
Sunshine, this is wonderful. These are fun to do aren't they, and you did a great job with this one. floria Floria |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karilea I love the sound of this and the meaning...reads well outloud. I think you did a great job! |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Beautifully written and now you have peaked my interest...breaking out the books... Enjoyed this.. |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
Karilea...this is an awesome poem! Remaining within her know There is a current she will ride Her peace again will flow Alone in the evening’s tide I sometimes feel this way....especially of late.  thanks for sharing it. copyright2002 Lyra Nesius |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Wonderful pantoum Karilea. I will have to see if I can find the one I did hanging around in my folders somewhere. I found that form to be very challenging. On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free. |
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Titia Geertman Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182Netherlands |
It's not an attempt, it's a beautiful Pantoum. Titia A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess... |
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TomMark Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133LA,CA |
Beautiful!!! I may someday write one of this. I love this form. |
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