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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

0 posted 2002-03-07 02:09 PM


Mask

A mask behind which one hides
Surreptitious movement finds
All the fear that one abides
When masked within the mind

Surreptitious movement finds
Strength beyond the norm
When masked within the mind
A style and grace is formed

Strength beyond the norm
Remaining within her know
A style and grace is formed
Her peace again will flow

Remaining within her know
There is a current she will ride
Her peace again will flow
Alone in the evening’s tide

There is a current she will ride
Though no longer will abide,
Alone in the evening’s tide
A mask behind which one hides


© Copyright 2002 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved
Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
1 posted 2002-03-07 02:14 PM


WOW!!!!This poem is magnificent....not an attempt but a roaring success...I love it...and it is so very true... **big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2002-03-07 03:05 PM


wondiferous!

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-03-07 03:18 PM




(smiles) YAY!!! OH MY GOSH, THIS IS A FABULOUS PANTOUM, I LOVE IT!!! You express hideen emotions and apprehension to what the future holds in a persons mind so well, may we all find that time when we can take off our masks and wear a happy smile of hope upon our faces! (big hugggssssss) This is outstading, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Karilea, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2002-03-07 03:39 PM


Beautifully done Karilea!  I should learn how to do this but it looks difficult,
even though you pull it off with such ease!
Excellent!!  Enjoyed much this late afternoon.
~Hugs, Nancy~

~Sometimes all you really wish for...
     is someone to wish for you.~

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2002-03-07 04:05 PM


well done my friend. . . I like the flow of this. . . the phrases are well chosen, and to make them fit a scheme is just one more way that your knowledge of the form shows. . .

excellent. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Krissy
Senior Member
since 2002-02-22
Posts 556
kent England
6 posted 2002-03-07 06:12 PM


Auntie Kari this is stupendous, really fine writing skills shown here you really are an excellent writer.

From what I can see I’d say you’d made a success of this form, it really is very very good. The second line of the verse becomes the first line of the next verse? It does look amazingly difficult I’ll leave it to the clever ones like you

Well done very well done


Love and warm stuff
As always
Krissy


And while thy willing soul transpiers
at every pore with instant fires
Andrew Marvell 1621-1678

Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
7 posted 2002-03-07 06:17 PM


Wonderfully well done. Maybe I'll give it a try. I can only hope it comes out as well as this.


strbbux
Member Elite
since 2001-12-19
Posts 3859

8 posted 2002-03-07 06:18 PM


Sunshine, this is wonderful. These are fun to do aren't they, and you did a great job with this one. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2002-03-07 06:21 PM


Karilea

I love the sound of this and the meaning...reads well outloud.  I think you did a great job!

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2002-03-07 06:47 PM


Beautifully written and now you have peaked
my interest...breaking out the books...

Enjoyed this..

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296
Michigan
11 posted 2002-03-07 07:08 PM


Karilea...this is an awesome poem!

Remaining within her know
There is a current she will ride
Her peace again will flow
Alone in the evening’s tide

I sometimes feel this way....especially of late.
thanks for sharing it.

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled"  Gwendolyn Brooks

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

12 posted 2002-03-07 07:17 PM


Wonderful pantoum Karilea.  I will have to see if I can find the one I did hanging around in my folders somewhere.  I found that form to be very challenging.

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

(I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance~Garth)

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
13 posted 2002-03-07 07:43 PM



It's not an attempt, it's a beautiful Pantoum.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Check out my new website: lookheretitia.fcpages.com (I didn't 'link' this, so it won't take too much space).I

TomMark
Member Elite
since 2007-07-27
Posts 2133
LA,CA
14 posted 2008-02-12 01:48 PM


Beautiful!!! I may someday write one of this. I love this form.
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