Tonight I remember things.
There is a mood that has pressed its way into my soul
and I am remembering times
when life was dangling new tempations before my eyes.
College
Ninteen Ninety something I can't remember
after ninety-four
the first guy who ever asked asked me on a non date.
A quick ride around town
driving through for lunch
and offering to buy mine.
I was shy and yet content.
The water was warm and yet not smothering
and his name was
Fred.
He was a huggable fellow
adorable in that college boyish sort of way
and I was quite fascinated with his ways.
Black Ford Probe held two non lovers
and dripped
and zipped through a college town sky
as my first experience with Greenday
lit up my musically challenged life.
We talked of towns and friends and things
of dreams and classes and goals and such
but never once did I feel the pull
that he wanted my hand across the seat in his
and although somewhat dissappointed in that
I was enthralled by such a notion
and completely accepting to this new casual friendship.
It was always inevitable that I would develop
at least a light crush
and it seemd some annoying test another part of me
forced upon myself to see if I could
be strong in wake of those big brown Fred eyes
and short unruly brown Fred hair
and ohhh...his adorable huggable self
a new friend
a ride to class on rainy days
and a study partner.
All that makes me wish I had gone with the Mardi Gras group that year
but shy school girl
I was shocked over being invited.
and back to the crush.
Inevitably I began scan places for his vehicle
meeting him in the hallway after classes with a smile
and a wink because although World Civ stressed me
he always knew how to alleviate the day
from my eyes.
How I let friendship come to fooling around
I'll never really remember
the moment of decision was indecisive
yet firm.
Ahead again..
Two bored college kids on the phone late
laughing about things I can't even remember being significant then.
We were just two people trying to survive our new world.
Our friends had talked
said we ought to go out
but didn't we already?
This was a friendship, not a date
not someone I loved.

And so it came one night
boredom or something still unexplained got the best of us.
Calling
idle talk
lead up to having an excuse to see each other
"Whats up?"
"...nothing..bored..watching TV"
"Me too"
and somewhere two invitations merged.
The words are now too hard to recall.
but I knew I'd have a fight with control
as I strolled across campus taking in the night air
knocking on his door
not knowing how to take his casualty
dressed in loose shorts
and a white t-shirt.
small talk
finding comfort in his beanbag
and his comfort in a chair
television
idle talk
water
mmmm....
he smells nice
and is amazingly relaxed
laughing
nervous getting up
walking around
talked in all places around that apartment
before we ended up on the bean bag together.




Okay..I got tired of writing...and this I'm going to want to do another part to if it comes to me this easily. I'm going to have to figure out how to do the rest of it without it being fit for adult.

How grave is my condition, for I cannot find the words to say, I need you so.
~Sarah MacLachlan~

I really enjoyed this a lot and look forward to the rest of the story.   Memories, perhaps I need to write more of my own.  I have my own bean bag story, though it took place about five years earlier than your own, my friend.  Yes, please continue on and tell the rest.

Michael

Stars will shine when I am gone
Earth will spin on as before
Gulls still race along the shore
Morning star, still kiss the dawn

~ M. Auguste

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.