Forms of Time - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2002-03-05 12:02 PM

Blackness across white,
Shadow stripe moving slowly
Disappears at night.

Cascading white grains,
Moving from top to bottom,
Till nothing remains,
Then turning the top to bottom
Restarts cascading white grains.

Tick Tock
Pendulum rock
With back and forth movement
Three hands in their circles are sent,
Tick Tock

Without sound ~
Numbers changing in order,
Electric.

Gloom
just another exercise in expression
and perhaps style.

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2002-03-05 12:11 PM

Like the form and the style... juxtoposition of imagery and form lend themselves well to your theme...

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

2 posted 2002-03-05 12:18 PM

I enjoyed the feeling that the words portray...to me like a silent room with stillness with only the sound of a clock.

The "tick tock..." verse seemed somewhat out of place, like the beginning of a nursery rhyme. Besides that I enjoyed this.

strbbux
Member Elite

since 2001-12-19

Posts 3859

3 posted 2002-03-05 07:37 PM

Different forms of time like the grains of sand silent in the glass and then the tick tock of the clock. Most wonderful work. floria

Floria

"Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them"
(Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

4 posted 2002-03-05 07:51 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Ooohhhhhhh...I love the imagery in this wonderful poem, I too had the feeling of sitting alone in a living room and hearing the pendulum toll the wake of a new hour! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much, BRAVO!!! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Aszard, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

Startime
Member Ascendant

since 2000-10-03

Posts 5918
Canada

5 posted 2002-03-05 07:57 PM

WOW!!this is very interesting...it captures the imagination....mmmm forms of time....extraordinary....I love it...**big hugs**

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

[This message has been edited by Startime (03-05-2002 07:58 PM).]

Ladyhawke
Member

since 2001-09-01

Posts 86

6 posted 2002-03-07 06:44 PM

I like this.

Bridget Shenachie
Senior Member

since 2002-01-23

Posts 1056
Kansas USA

7 posted 2002-03-07 06:56 PM

Hey Gloom!

I liked the "Tick Tock".  I vote to leave it as it is, because that is the only timepiece with sound.

Neat write!  We've all watched the clock, but how many of us have written about one?

How about more clocks--digital, quartz movement--whatever.  I wanted your poem to go on and on.

Shenachie

Silver Streak
Member Elite

since 2002-01-02

Posts 3625
FL, USA

8 posted 2002-03-07 07:33 PM

Great one, Gloom. My response is in a poem, "Time" posted in a new thread.

((Gloom))
-newell

Sharing God's Love through perfectlovepoetry.com

Copyright: 2002 Newell Elsworth Usher

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.