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Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2001-06-23 11:30 AM

This is something totally different from me, I don't know where it came from, but here it is.

I have found that you are what keeps me awake
When I am fast asleep
Dreaming a reality that I've been living
Since I was born
A reality that moves and tells time like the hands
Of a digital clock
Something that could definitely be called (oh, what's the word)
Kafka, um
          Kafka, um
                    yes! Kafkaesque
Just like that painting The Persistence of Memory
You know, the one with all of the melting watches?
I've always wondered how I could bend time like that
Get it to do what I want
Get twenty-six hours out of a day that they say
Should only be twenty-four
Or to suspend time in such as way that I could finally
Program my VCR
(I wonder if Kafka ever had that problem?)
Do you think that he solved it when he became a bug
Like in that story he wrote?
Because I know that if I had a couple of extra appendages
It would make it so much easier
To get my digital watch to tick

Why is it that when we go forward that we want to move back?
We want digital to tick
We want contemporary, but with that "Old World Charm" again
As if the Old World was ever charming
I think that if the Old World was ever as "charming" as they say
They would have never left
They would have just moved it over here when they came
Called it "The Old World II"
Or something like that
(Do you think that Kafka found his world charming?)
But no, they called it "The New World" like it was a big deal
When all they were really doing
Was just setting us up for that time when we would want our digital watches
To tick like they used to
Sounds so much better than
                                   Beep Doesn't it?

But, does it really matter how we measure time?
Whether by ticks or beeps
By months, years, days, minutes, seconds, nanoseconds, and smaller
Who's to say?
All I know is one thing
I've found that you're what keeps me awake
When I'm fast asleep


To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

© Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
1 posted 2001-06-23 12:09 PM

Wow, this is different in a really interesting way. I like this side of you. Lots of good points rise from this poem, also. I think I would still take the old world..

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
2 posted 2001-06-23 04:30 PM

"All I know is one thing
I've found that you're what keeps me awake
When I'm fast asleep"

great lines for your ending! indeed, what does it matter how we measure time when it's either too slow or too fast and you can never go back and all that good stuff.... i liked this.... it was very dali-kafkaesque....

no matter what, the thing to do,
chant dali-dali-in-free,
and maybe she'll come back to you,
if not, watch Oprah  Winfrey!
i gaurantee that Oprah, see,
will make the time pass oh so slow,
compare that then to missing her,
and time goes fast, sir, don't ya know?
your last resort, my poet friend,
should you begin to kafka,
take robitussin chased by shots
of absolute straight vodka!

hahahahahehehehe.... teehee
whoops!! you inspired me!!!

geeeeeez...... thanks!!  

keep writing like this... i LIKE it!

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-06-23 11:30 PM

Very interesting write here, Sven.  I love the Kafka references, but then again you had to know I would.  Nice job!  

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2001-06-25 07:38 PM

Very dif. indeed from what I have seen from you Sven....but then again all I've seen from you are some poems in Adult and in teen  
I enjoyed this one very much.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
5 posted 2001-06-29 04:42 AM

Yeah, interesting thoughts Sven!   I like it, and different is what makes everyone interested in anything at all.. Gotta keep the spice..

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
6 posted 2001-07-01 07:10 AM

Sven, all I will say is keep experimenting, this is a refreshing poem. Some light hearted moments mixed with more deeper thoughts. I really enjoyed this and incidently I am reading Kafka's short stories at the moment, some great stories but others are a bit too long. The Burrow just drags on. anwyay I am ranting here.  

"Like Sand underneath the snow, I make you mine." Kristin Hersh

Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
7 posted 2001-07-01 03:16 PM

Sven--I really enjoyed this look at time...the humor, the thought...thinking about time sometimes just makes me crazy, it is so fickle!  
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-07-03 06:11 PM

Thanks to everyone that's replied. . . I just thought I'd try a new angle on things. . . thanks for your input and your comments. . .  


To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
9 posted 2003-05-28 05:28 PM

I would love to see more of this different you.

You could hurt me with your bare hands. You could hurt me using the sharp edge of what you say. JEWEL

Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
10 posted 2003-06-01 12:35 PM

Oh, this is definitely something special... I'm glad Temptress bumped it.  The style is something that a lot of people use in their poetry and depends on depth of thought rather than actual technique or execution, but the depth of your mind doesn't disappoint one bit, Sven... it's extremely fascinating and even a bit amusing in places, your lengthy description of time... digital watches... progress and advancement vs the old charm.

You know, for a few years I've wanted to write a poem about the fad that food manufacturers have of calling their food "just like home made," and thinking for some reason it's going to sell.  What's wrong with factory perfect?  And why buy it if it's just like you would have made it yourself?

It's how we lie to ourselves, that "old charm," because we're never sincere about it... it's just a supreme hypocrisy.  When it all comes down to it, we'll prefer the newer, more dependable and more efficient things to the older.... we'll prefer the beep to the tick.

My favourite Emily Dickinson quote:

"Faith" is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see--
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency.

About says it all, wouldn't you say?

Pardon the digression, your poem made me think, and I like to share the thoughts one's work stirs up in me.  Lovely writing, Sven.


Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

11 posted 2003-06-08 06:48 PM

heh, this is a cool poem.  It's very casual in its tone.  I liked the last line.  But I don't think that Kafka's bug would have been able to program VCRs all that well.  As I recall he had a problem with his legs constantly writhing around uncontrollably when they weren't on the ground...

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
My Creations

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