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Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

0 posted 2007-07-12 10:56 PM

The memory of you, singular in complicity,
burns umber in the amber ambiguity
of striated broken film behind ruined eyes.
It is not necessarily a good or bad thing:
just a thing.

Define that, as you did me,
concisely and in context,
from the complicated singularity.

Let's go two for two
and sing lullabies and other lies
perhaps an elegy to a love
requited.

In a dream I was:
floodplain and riverbed
met where slept sediment
dreaming of mountains
and you were not there.

Forever sometimes expires.

Alicat
7-12-07

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2007-07-13 01:47 PM

Let's go two for two
and sing lullabies and other lies
perhaps an elegy to a love

~*~

Ouch.

Wow...

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

2 posted 2007-07-13 06:46 PM

Forever sometimes expires

that is very true ~~

M

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2007-07-16 07:04 PM

I really love what you did with this, bro. Being privy to the source of your inspiration, I think the fact that you took your time with it and crafted such a body around the source is a credit to you. (I'd have done boring, dreamscape navel-gazing thing, m'self.)

You know how I love an impact ending, and although your ending alone, does not qualify for the 'punch in the gut'--in context it does.

Sometimes a matter of fact tone can do that--and yes, you are quite adept at that particular sensibility. *laughing*

Bravo, bro!

Very well done indeed!

Alicat
Member Elite

since 1999-05-23

Posts 4094
Coastal Texas

4 posted 2007-07-21 01:57 PM

Sunshine: I too like how that part came out. Just flows, yanno?

Maur, they sure do. Nothing lasts forever, especially forever.

Sis, thanky! Glad you dug this one and it'll prolly end up spoken. Maybe.

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