Poetic Haven |
The Middle Man |
Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Men of Action doing mighty deeds. How I hates them! I hates them from where I stand down here. I spit at them! I spit high and arcing arcing casting doubts into their eyes. Gravity robs me of my action, steals my will, weighs me down with saddlebags, and shows me the way home. There where ghastly red banners proclaim any media blurb. Conform to gray mentality. Uphold bourgeios mundanity. Here there's no lower or upper end, just us, the middle men. Alicat 11/24/04 |
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© Copyright 2004 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
It's hard to figure out the tone of this. "How I hates them" makes it want to be kind of a dialect poem, but some of the vocab you use betrays that. Or is there supposed to be some kind of transformation? I loved the double effect of this part though: quote: The seen and heard parts of this passage really compliment each other. I hear him repeating himself, "arcing!" and I see a visual emphasis at the same time. I've always been skeptical about the power of visual in written poetry, but this is a good example of why my skepticism is incomplete. Another thing: if he spits high and arcing, it lands somewhere other than where he's aiming. I would have loved if you'd told me where that was. Pretty thoughtful writing here, Alicat. Thanks for giving me something to read. Brian "God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Thank you, LP, for the thoughtful response and for allowing me to mess up your skepticism. This one was one of many things I see in my head, and more often than not they evaporate before the words finish forming. This piece is where the words unbidden tried to protray the vision in my mind of the middle class workers, lowest tier for corporations, trying to get the CEOs attention and failing, being too low for such action, weighed down with doubts and bills. There, where they live and work, there is no real color except on bright media banners which proclaim messages tailored for the masses, meaning less then nothing. The tone is simple: bleak despair. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
There are those Alpha monkeys you speak of...running the show and most everyone in it...and the Betas, who look for chances to curry Alpha favor..... .....I'm a Gamma; I just don't care about that game, and I don't let 'em run me -- or overrun me. Nice to know I'm not alone! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"How I hates them!" That's prolly my favorite part, but my druthers woulda compelled me to write "How I hates 'em" to stick more with the vernacular. But then? smiling...I have had the pleasure of hearing you read, so that's how I hear you in my head now. You know I love this, and yes, the color is: bleak despair somebunny unnerstands ye bro. |
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Musicmaker1969
since 2000-06-25
Posts 589Peterborough, Ontario Canada |
I think most of the North American society are the middle men you talk about. I was not sure at first where you were going, but this is what I got out of it - that if you are high society with your head held smugly in the air, then spit at you for being so smug. I think the middle man has a prety good life. Working hard, AND enjoying the benefits of their hard labour. Sincerely, Sheri Adams Jesus lives in my heart! He can in yours too!!! |
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