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Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

0 posted 2004-09-25 07:09 PM

She came to the Blithe garden in a happy state of mind
Exploring every little thing that she had come to find:

She came anticipating sun, but there was only rain:
She came to lean upon a tree, but it was split in twain.

She came to count the tulip's heads; there wasn't one to spy on,
She came to smell a rose, but there was just a dandelion.

She came to see the tire-swing, but it was lying dead:
So she sat in it anyways, and she reclined her head---

As if her dreams contained a garden boundless on all sides,
She ran her fingers through the grass, went up and down the slide,

She ran towards the limits of the field, but when I fenced it,
She felt it was enough to spread her arms and lay against it:

Such was the nature of her dream, and when I saw her start to wake
I bid her close her eyes again, for her imagination's sake.

[This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-25-2004 07:46 PM).]

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

1 posted 2004-09-25 07:45 PM

Brian

This is so charming, it captured my heart. Beauty is everywhere, for those like kellie (and you). Thank you for my enjoyment.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-09-25 07:52 PM

smiling...

for imagination's sake...

at first I thought this would be a better title, but then I thought how enticingly innocent YOUR choice was and damn if you don't win again.

yer lovely yanno

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

3 posted 2004-09-26 07:22 AM

Can I be honest? I didn't like it all that much. It was a nice topic but it didn't really speak to me like your others pieces tend to.

You still rock though.

~AF~

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member

since 2002-05-22

Posts 1667
New York

4 posted 2004-09-26 10:20 PM

and you can visit the website with the pictures to interpret your own meaning as well.
www.angelfire.com/poetry/kemaca

then click the link to pictures.

Brian- This poem was very touching.
-Kellie

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

5 posted 2004-09-28 05:14 PM

I thought it a beautiful poem...and I enjoy meter and rhyme

M

Larry C

Member Patricius

since 2001-09-10

Posts 10286
United States

6 posted 2004-09-28 10:14 PM

Well Brian,
I'm sure it is true. Most of us write for ourselves and rather revel in the fact that others like it too. Well done. It forced me to ponder the good in circustances that I might not find so good. Thanks for that.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

7 posted 2004-10-14 07:53 AM

I really liked this peice, I agree with AF that it really didnt speak to me as much as some of you other peices but it really is quite a charming little poem.

Andrew

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

8 posted 2004-10-31 02:20 AM

Hey, Allan, I'm back. This was an interesting poem. A jab at urbanization, I gather? In any case, it was nice and it reminded me sorta of a poem by William Blake.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

9 posted 2004-11-05 01:13 AM

this was really good. something like in a book even.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

10 posted 2006-10-01 02:10 AM

Heptameter....sheesh.....let me guess, you thought you were giving birth to a sonnet, but those fertility drugs they'd given you.......

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

11 posted 2006-10-01 03:23 AM

grin...

I love the Rat's response too. Quite funny.

and this happens to be one of my favorite poems too.

So thanks, twice.

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