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Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking

0 posted 2004-09-19 06:02 PM


The Female Land. 02/08/04

Slim fingers of cloud
Outstretched
Gliding across
This fresh green land

*

droplets form rank
and fall
like lemmings
or those men of Market Garden

*

She moans
In anticipation
Thrusting her curves
Skyward

*

Restored and revitalised
Arteries flow once again

*

Satiated she blossoms
With sparkling eyes
And rainbow cheeks.


Lately I have been uncomfortable with my style of writing and therefore I am looking for a change of style. I know that it can probably only come from myself but I would appreciate some suggestions on where I could start my journey. Oh and if your wondering why I posted this peice, partly because I felt like getting some advice and partly because this is the last peice that I really felt comfortable writing.

Hmm...

© Copyright 2004 Andrew Sewell - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
1 posted 2004-09-19 07:54 PM


As for the piece itself, the personification of earth/nature into the form of Gaia was well done.

If you're looking for other styles of writing, as well as exploration, simply peruse the Poetry Workshop.  There is a veritable plethora of different forms, formats, styles, schemes and examples found there.  And, if interested in something not found there, I'm sure Nan would be more than happy to create another class exercise.

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