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Cycloning
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Cycloning |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments 
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Ravages of pungent sorrow Turn circles in my head, My conscience screaming Of the serenity silently raped, Stolen from my soul... My tears are cycloning, Trapped far below The satin laid skies And the sunlight once etched In my shadows Has fallen into absence. The silence shatters With every breath you exhale And the space between us (it could be inches or miles) Is silver frosted... How can our heartbeats Be slowing into An inescapable freeze? ...I feel as if you’re untouchable... And so I enclose myself In folds of trembling dark Allowing the softness and quiet ...to seep down...and into... My dying depths... I am now abandoned In these twilight moments Perpetually. *Krista Knutson* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Krista Botterill - All Rights Reserved | |||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow... some really powerful emotions in this one. The imagery and wording are excellent, but I just hope this is a piece of fiction. If not, I hope things get better for you. Beautiful work, though! Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This had a lot of emotional power within it. I liked this one a lot krista!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
You write your sadness so powerfully, Krista. This is something we've probably all been through. Well done. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Wonderful work here, Krista. The technique you used was very profound. I especially enjoyed your use of ellipse in drawing out the flow, I thought that was very creative. Also, the word "cyclone" as a verb was clever. Impressive indeed.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Thank you all sooo much for the kind words, sometimes a girl is in need of some.  So, thank you all once again, I appreciate it! *Krista Knutson* |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
very powerful words. well written take care and I hope that is this not all based on personal experience "you are what you own in this land, you can be king and it all depends on the view and what you can see" Whipping boy |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Krista...you always write so well..amazing, this. |
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Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187St. Paul, MN |
Very powerful poetry, I feel the pain and sorrow exuding from this. This one resonates. Incredibly writing, Krista "They that start by burning books will end by burning men." -- Heinrich Heine |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Krista, wow, there are some lines here which I can relate to like... "And the space between us (it could be inches or miles)" "How can our heartbeats Be slowing into An inescapable freeze?" ".I feel as if you’re untouchable..." The sorrow and pain pours right out. Wonderfully written hon Maree |
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