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Paripatetic Ideas
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Paripatetic Ideas |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN 
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Paripatetic Ideas I have become impartial to you, bleak imp That steals my heart when I’m not looking, so sleek In appearance next to the faded dullness and him, But be careful that the starlight doesn’t again speak. I have become impartial to the antediluvian, and love Never seems difficult to sample, singing again To torpid eyes lain in the ground, call your bluff, One step back from winning the bleeding pen. I have become impartial to you, speak imp That I am steal my heart when you blink, so leap Away from the mirror, away from the blemished, But be careful that the starlight doesn’t shine, doesn’t creep [This message has been edited by young_blood (06-03-2004 10:40 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allysa 
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Although repetition usually annoys me (even when I use it), I thought the repetition of the beginning of each stanza was tasteful and added to the poem overall. The idea of becoming or being impartial toward anything is almost contradictory, if you really think about it, because if you are sitting around thinking about becoming impartial to something, you aren't really impartial or even unaffected by said thing. Just a thought and I think too much. I'll most likely be back with more to ramble. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
haha...thanks allysa |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
enjoyed this, as it made me think...as well as grab a dictionery I was wondering about the spelling on two words, did you mean peripatetic? and also, antideluvial? just curious It is good to see young poets like yourself emerging, and bringing fresh ideas into the Sanctuary. Please continue. |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
yes i did, thank you for catching those. i reread this and thought a couple of them looked funny from how i had learned them. at any rate, thank you for reading it. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This poem uses wording quite cleverly, recycling a lot of the old lines in new ways. Nice write. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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young_blood Senior Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 1115Indianapolis, IN |
thank you fracta |
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