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Denial's Sin (Allan Riverwood and Serenity, Duet Club)
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Denial's Sin (Allan Riverwood and Serenity, Duet Club) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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beneath the sleeping chapel that was me enwrapped within tranquility so sweet I waited there, beside our favourite tree perchance by fate again, this night we'd meet I held within my hand a daisy white and spun it, as I'd seen you do before so sweet, and violet black the sky of night I closed my eyes and counted up to four i opened eyes surprised--chagrined to see the same I'd seen, again. I closed my eyes in pray renew to capture what I'd lost of you. Simple silences aware Unbalancing of scales beware and every thought I thought was new? was but the tilt of beam, askew. the ravage of a heatwave down its path created for me hatred of the moon it burned my skin, in prejudice and wrath I clutched myself, and hoped you'd be here soon reflection in the daisy's weary glare that titled down, provoked my sight, and dried to satisfy my eyes I stripped them bare and watched the creature shrivel as it died I am lonely in my loss... one petal fallen--such a cost... to see it dry and spin in air as if there was no life to care and no weight of soul to spin A feather light--denial's sin-- The silence of a cry's despair in weep of heaviness of air. but still beneath the chapel, shutting down my body ached, my insides shredded out the pain ran o'er my body as a gown and cleansed me of my everlasting doubt and as the petal wept and hit the earth so, too, my hopes and memories of you fell flatly at my feet, for all they're worth then melting in the blades of grass and dew And all my hopes become compost-- becoming one with ghost of host. [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 05-20-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Absolutely incredible you two....the imagery is stunning and memorable. Truly exellent work, I am impressed!  *Krista Knutson* |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Wow... very beautiful piece here, you two! Such deep and profound emotions are harder to convey in a duet, but you two do it just fine. Great job!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent!!! I hope you both will write together again.  |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Amazing job here! I really enjoyed this one a lot! Well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
came back to thank allan once again.  Had a great time both chatting and writing with you--would love to do this again anytime!!!Thank you, my new friend! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOWEEEEE, excellent you two! I loved this, you make a great team You must write together again Maree |
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Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
bravo you 2! ^_^ this is something, that's for sure! Enjoyed muchly -Lynne “A poem is a tiny piece of the poets soul; on paper.” |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
wow!...beautifully written...an amazing job you guys did here...i loved this piece...you two worked so well i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
but still beneath the chapel, shutting down my body ached, my insides shredded out the pain ran o'er my body as a gown and cleansed me of my everlasting doubt and as the petal wept and hit the earth so, too, my hopes and memories of you fell flatly at my feet, for all they're worth then melting in the blades of grass and dew powerful imagery guys this was great stuff. "difference between love and comfortis that comfort's more reliable and true |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
You guys this was truly amazing. wow. im speechless If you only understood my pain then maybe you could learn to be my friend. Be there. My crying shoulder. The smiles. And the caring i need to survive. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Now this is some really nice work. You two have a lot of talent, and you definitely work well together.  Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Thanks for bringing this one from the archives! I am in awe of the way this weaves the words of two into one. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
LP? It is precisely because of this one I decided to try it again. I was delightfully surprised when I not only got the opportunity to learn more about poetry--but also made a wonderful new friend! |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
This is amzing - just brilliant writing guys . . . in awe - truly xxoo |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
A GIGANTIC well-done from here!  |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I wish this was going to be in the Reflections Book...wonderful writing, you two. (I may just print it out and slide it into the book when I get it, if you both don't mind.) Hey maybe the next book can have a section of duets in it... M |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
serenity is always good. . . but, let me tell you. . . that Allan Riverwood is just a great guy. . . I wonder what happened to him. . .  ---------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
There are so many quality poets in this place....it's almost astonishing! Yes, I'm going back and reading the old things tonight, and enjoying it very much. New doesn't equal best, after all..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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