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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2004-05-15 02:16 PM

the nights are so cold here
maybe its because my windows open
i'm laying outside in the pouring rain
i've been waiting for you
for so long
i can't remember the last time i took a breath
without you
forgetting the real things seems impossible
but i want to

i glance up
your still not here
but i can hear your voice whispering softly
telling me
don't leave
when are you going to be
look beyond whats normal

you'll find me

i believe in trust now
that your kiss means something
i can't understand
but i'll tell you everything
i know

can you remember me
or will i be lost forever

in your memory

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

1 posted 2004-05-15 03:14 PM

Riley, this is absolutely beautiful in its longing, its need.....wonderful deeply expressed.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2004-05-15 03:39 PM

muted: i appreciate your comment and i am so glad you liked it that much. i am flattered...
<3always
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2004-05-15 08:59 PM

Riley

"i believe in trust now"

Not an easy thing to do sometimes, but a sign of courage.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

4 posted 2004-05-15 11:26 PM

i can't remember the last time i took a breath

~*~

This fits so many situations. Riley, welcome home!

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

5 posted 2004-05-16 12:17 PM

martie- trust is so hard....but it comes eventually...thank you for the reply

sunshine-thanks...and its good to be back
always
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

6 posted 2004-05-17 06:58 PM

This poem seems to lack most of the elements that make me love your poetry---in particular, the strength of your imagination.

Although, I get the feeling that this isn't one of those dressed-to-impress poems of yours, but something you wanted to write as a communication between your self and the apostrophic other.  In that sense, though I'm not comfortable gauging quality, I'd wager you're been successful...

Lovely seeing you around here again, Ri.  Take care of yourself, sweetheart.

Bri

"God becomes as we are that we may be as he is." ~William Blake

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

7 posted 2004-05-18 08:14 AM

LP: gosh its been a while since i've been here. and between now and last time i was here, a lot of things have happened...i went through a "depresseD" stage if you want to call it that....and now my life is getting back on track. but thank you for the reply...my poems will get better...hopefully....once again thanks for the reply...

<3always,
riley

no matter what i'll always love you
i swear

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

8 posted 2004-06-07 12:05 PM

There are some real moments of beauty in this poem but I was more than slightly distracted by the last two lines of the second stanza, which to me at least seemed to make no sense. Still I really enjoyed the read, thank you for sharing.

Andrew

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