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Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

0 posted 2004-01-29 01:21 PM


Intimidated emotions and you don't notice
my imperfections, you don't see my
bad side, you don't understand my incredible
lack of courage, or why I wouldn't just
stand up and scream, express myself.

You are noticeable, I blend in.

You see me, and you could never
understand why anyone would think I
was anything but beautiful, anything
short of incredible, I'm "awesomer",
you say and I blush.

I want to ask you,
which tastes better
a raindrop, or a snowflake
when you catch them on your tongue-
are they better when I'm around?

Obviously, I am stuck inside my skin.

I'd invite you in, but there's barely any room
to share mud puddles, and kickball games,
your face wet with the rain, I'll take you
home with me and make you hot chocolate,
I'll keep all my promises, I swear.

I want to kiss your face.

Broken pieces shoved inside this almost
realistic plastic looking glass and you
are home to me, I just could never speak it,
could never make it real, I want to keep you
in the bathtub like I say I will.

Let you live here forever with me.

If you want to, you can stay and I will
make myself home for you, I will tell you
all the secrets, and you will smile at me,
like you always do, and I will forever
wonder why I always keep my mouth shut.

© Copyright 2004 Allysa - All Rights Reserved
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
1 posted 2004-01-29 03:30 PM


Maybe the cat's got your tongue   Ah but ain't love just grand?
Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
2 posted 2004-02-01 05:49 PM


This is beautiful.. So many little personal details that set it apart from 'just another love poem'.. "I want to keep you in the bathtub like I say I will" <-- That's such a cool line!!!!

There is one piece I don't understand though  -
"Broken pieces shoved inside this almost / realistic plastic looking glass..."

Almost realistic plastic looking glass.. What is it referring to?

I love the images "and you are home to me" and "you can stay and I will make myself home to you.."  That's a really special feling, and simply put like that is just.. Just right.

Bless your cotten sockies, you poetic maniacs. ^_^

Love - Lynne

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
3 posted 2004-02-02 12:23 PM


Thank you kindly for your reply, Yu Lan.

I want to keep you in the bathtub like I say I will   is actually a line inspired by one of my friends (who is a lesbian) who found it funny when i said that I wanted to keep him in the closet.  She said I couldn't, so I said that bathtubs were more fun anyway..  

Broken pieces shoved inside this almost/ realistic looking plastic glass
is probably confusing because it is meant to represent me.  Everything about me has been cracked and then shoved back inside an almost realistic covering that you can never really tell whether it is cloth or skin, plastic or glass.  

Hopefully that clears up some of the confusion.

Oh to be young and kind of in love..

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
4 posted 2004-02-05 07:52 PM


"I want to ask you,
which tastes better
a raindrop, or a snowflake
when you catch them on your tongue-
are they better when I'm around?"

*Smile* Lovely lines.
Liz xx

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

ESP
Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....
5 posted 2004-02-05 07:53 PM


sorry, forgot to check the library box.

"Time has told me not to ask for more, one day our ocean will find its shore" ~Nick Drake

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