I want to write beautiful again

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

0 posted 2003-12-07 11:06 PM

I want to write beautiful again
I want those blues, greens, and whites
       to flow again like they used to
              instead of these reds and blacks

I want my words to speak of my heart again
       not of this
                   but of that
not of what you want me to say
       but, of what I want to say

you say I cannot speak of these things
       in this way
                   at this time
but yet, you speak of things when the cafe
       is open and the boards are closed

I want to write beautiful again
just like I used to
       before
              you tried to hide the
                               moon from
                                    my eyes

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

1 posted 2003-12-08 10:30 PM

i liked your ending. Not feeling very chatty, maybe later I will have more interesting words to say.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2003-12-08 11:35 PM

Hiya, Sven Pen. Another one from you and even in a different forum this time around!

First of all, I think the word you're actually looking for is "beautifully" rather than "beautiful"?

Second of all. Its a simple request you write, but isn't it asking yourself more than anything? If you let yourself, you CAN write beautifully again. Just get through the clutter first. When it comes to creativity I believe you have to clean the house in order to see the floor sometimes.

I hope that makes sense.

enjoyed

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill

inot2B
Member Elite

since 2000-09-18

Posts 2205
Arkansas

3 posted 2003-12-09 09:44 AM

I've missed your "moon" poems. Let the colors flow from your heart. Glad I wandered over to this site.

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

4 posted 2003-12-10 10:34 AM

Yeeeah I know how you feel...this is beautiful in its own desperate right, Sven. The morning will come.

~Carly

"How inimitably graceful children are in general before they learn to dance!"
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

KoKo
Senior Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow

5 posted 2003-12-10 11:22 AM

I think the use of "beautiful" instead of "beautifully" sounds beautiful!

I know exactly what you're saying, and can appreciate this on so many levels.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

6 posted 2003-12-15 03:22 AM

Sven, I agree with what you're saying and understand your sentiments completely... sometimes I feel as though I've lost my ability to hear the inspiration of the day-to-day world. All I can say is that you need to keep in mind what it is that you're doing... make a conscious effort at seeing the world as something translucent, and write lines on what lies beneath the surface.

Best of luck to you, my friend.

Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2003-12-15 09:00 PM

Sven...I understand this too. I am having trouble writing lately...and I have all these feelings like crayons sitting out in the sun they are running to mucky brown. I want to write beautiful again too.

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

8 posted 2003-12-18 10:17 PM

Well, we all do face our down periods as poets. But remember that sometimes you just change styles and you have to write to reflect what's going on in your life. You might not like that but sometimes reds and blacks are the only colours adaquate to express what's happening.

2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2
--Smit
My Creations

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

9 posted 2003-12-22 10:14 PM

thank you all my friends. . .and yes, I know that there are times where we need to just take what comes. . .but, I'm ready for those times to end. . .

thank you all again. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

I am tired . . .

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

10 posted 2003-12-26 03:29 PM

We all have dry periods. I've had mine for quite awhile. It's hard when people around you sap your inspiration. Thats not the case for me now, but I know that it's hard. You expressed your emotions well in this piece, and I think that makes this a better poem than any sort of pretty description of flowers and trees or anything.

PS-- doin good in my music dept!

Oh, make me Thine forever
And should I fainting be
Lord, let me never ever
Outlive my love for Thee

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

11 posted 2004-01-18 05:45 PM

Lovely. I think the use of "beautiful" works beautifully too. Better than "beatifully". It's great.

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.