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Girl in silk walking the road
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Girl in silk walking the road |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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Girl in silk walking the road. Her eyes are turning, turning in. Glowing passing headlight beams. Makes no shortcut through the field. If she speaks then she will sob. Nods a no to passing drivers. Stunned to silence by the road. Length and darkness stretch for miles. Huddles closer to herself. Air thread-thick. It smells like flowers. How can travellers still travel? How can roads exist to wander? She will find her bed by morning. In a ball within her home. Mirrors are a nonsense game. Girl in silk walking the road. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
This shines brightly and then leaves me sad. I never know why. reminds me of this old one of yours: "A girl will cut across the landscape; crunching snow will fill the soundtrack. She will carry a sack of groceries. She won't stop or notice the stranger." dusty dusty road and then there is just this girl, walking home. but home is gone. funny that you can be so tired that you can't even sleep. The mirrors being a nonsense game...I know that feeling too well. What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
It probably makes you feel sad because this is a poem about rape ... I know it makes me sad. Mikey |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ A read of sadness ... I felt the hurt and fear of the girl~ GOOD penning~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
sadness expression speachless... when you live you begin to die |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
"It's co-o-old, out there, and ro-o-ough." -Liz Phair Thank you both, seriously. .m. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
now I really know why it makes me sad. sigh... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
*hugs to all* |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
I'm cold now. And this makes me feel sad and hurt. Good write, Mikey. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Thank you Mike, for reminding me what meter is supposed to do. As for the poem's content... it is a lonely, lonely place in one's own thought. Walking the road is never nice, but sometimes it can be important. This poem really resounds for me personally, as it reminds me of someone in my life right now. A fantastic poem about the existential lifestyle. Great, great work, Mike... Brian Faith is a fine invention |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
BSquirrel: I read this poem once a few weeks back, but I couldn't find anything to say in response to it. I ought to confess that I still cannot. The form is an interesting one. You've chosen to write discrete sentences - ABSOLUTELY no enjambment. But at the same time, the writing flows and the reader hardly notices the periods. The questions posed and the awkward circumstances throughout this poem are quite well-drawn out. Thankyou for a good read and a challenging piece to critique and respond to. I'll stowe this in my library for the time being. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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