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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-05-06 01:04 AM



Faces blend together
smiles and frowns become one
bodies merge, voices swell
my life has come undone

The tears that fall are counted
by the steps I take in retreat
Bitter is jealousy's flavor
as I smile at my defeat

She will have you nonetheless
I cannot make it otherwise
for I see you as just a man
she sees you as a prize

If you thought me worthy of your love
those feelings would be shown
There is no satisfaction in
a love in which I am alone


© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2001-05-06 01:38 AM


Oh Sharon, I felt the sadness here.

Hugs

great poem

Maree  

Irie
Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493
Washington State
2 posted 2001-05-06 03:03 AM


Sharon,

The emotions and feelings in this poem reached out and squeezed on my heart.
I remember this feeling very clearly.


~Sheri

"The things that come to those that wait may be the things
left by those who got there first"



Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
3 posted 2001-05-06 12:28 PM


Great work, PdV!  I could also feel the emotion in this one, so very powerful.  Thank you for sharing it with us!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
4 posted 2001-05-06 01:08 PM


Thank you...I asked acire for a phrase to use to write a poem and he gave me the last line in this poem, so part of the thanks for the inspiration goes to him!  
Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
5 posted 2001-05-06 05:12 PM


Wow, PdV.  This is an awesome piece.  It's so emotional.. right from the heart.  Wonderful work.

--Marie

Don't ever be someone's slogan, because you are poetry.

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
6 posted 2001-05-07 02:51 PM


this is really beautiful writing, thank you for posting it.  i also liked your note in the reply, i often start my poems from the end with a good last line and work backwards    it's better that way

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
7 posted 2001-05-07 11:38 PM


A beautiful poem I have found hidden here...  

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2001-05-09 01:22 AM


*tears* I know this, and you have conveyed it very well here, Sharon.



Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
9 posted 2001-05-09 01:22 AM


*tears* I know this, and you have conveyed it very well here, Sharon.



Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
10 posted 2001-05-09 08:28 PM


Well let her have him, she'll find out,
He's just an unfaithful, straying lout.  Joyce

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2001-05-13 02:37 PM


Well done, but the sadness in this one is very powerful.....i feel you here Sharon.
Well done!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

12 posted 2001-05-27 09:17 PM


this piece goes to the reader on a emotional level...and i love that ...awesome poem here...sad yet very powerful.

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Yu Lan
Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462
New Zealand
13 posted 2001-06-01 05:15 AM


Have you ever felt this Sharon? If not, then you've done an amazing job of portraying this silent bitterness.. that person's heart has been torn out, so clearly.. and the tears are not sure whether they should be shed in sadness, bitterness, anger or pain.. but you have shown that all of these rolled into one leaves such an ache.. I loved this piece, and for a poem that acire inspired, this is exceptional.. okok, joking, sorry acire.. ^_^ No, truly, this is lovely PdV

Love,
Lynne

“One word can be magical. Imagine then, the effect of several words, together..”

Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada
14 posted 2004-07-08 12:47 PM


very well said
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