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Sonnet V
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Sonnet V |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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Sonnet V on first seeing my breath before the new winter When Earth meanders from its inner track And lady Summer dares unfast her robe; When Azrael his mighty wings folds back To 'clipse with sadness the celestial globes; Mourn not the living who to slumber probe For Death's fast scythe hath too a cooling edge That kindly drips upon the Sun who strobes With pain and anguish, that no more he fledge The sprouts of Spring, or from the topsoil dredge Lithe fingers of the lush, lime-painted grass; No more shall leaves sprout, no more shall the sedge Quench its thirst-parchèd tongue in sunny Brass--- The age of Dusk has fall'n and, seeing snow, The heav'ns withdraw their Ward to grant it flow. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This goes beyond Autumn, and graces Winter with acceptance...there is much more I would like to say about it...but I don't want you to think I'm gushing... but yes, this one does make me want to gush. So I'll keep it, and gush later. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
OK...I need to send your teach a thank you note for this assignment, cuz the idea of having a sonnet from you everyday is reason for moth elation.  There were so many lines in this that made me smile in admire of your talent... And lady Summer dares unfast her robe; what a poetically wonderful personify and image that is...very cool!! When Azrael his mighty wings folds back To 'clipse with sadness the celestial globes; Mourn not the living who to slumber probe For Death's fast scythe hath too a cooling edge That kindly drips upon the Sun who strobe ALL of that rocks...imagery, personify and assonance..reading aloud is a must!! Lithe fingers of the lush, lime-painted grass; No more shall leaves sprout, no more shall the sedge now youre toying with me could those lines be any cooler? ahhh the assonance, the allits..the vocabulary... Yep...Im gonna be loving this project. Guaranteed rhymes divine...the moth is giddy.  "If you feel heartbreak, distant thunder, lightning, earthquakes ... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
AOL hiccupped... [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (09-23-2003 08:54 AM).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Not A Sonnet V  on reading your rhymes Wouldst thou think less of me Should I pen in words cliche' Should I profess my poetic admire then confess thy words take mine breath away Wouldst thou think me naive Wouldst thou find me too absurd Should I build alters for thy verse So that I might worship thine every word Might I study thee like the masters Wouldst thou instill thy gift of inspire So that I might grow in thy light That I might inquire thy poetic entire Might I inhale thy every line savior thy verse in long, slow, sips For there could be no sweeter wine than thine rhymes upon my lips If only I could write well of thee ... Might I truly capture thy inspire's grace Would my words ever do thou justice ... Would they leave my admiration's trace Blame it on the cadence... I cant help it...sonnets make me stupid.  "If you feel heartbreak, distant thunder, lightning, earthquakes ... If you wonder why the earth moves ... this is me missing you." JH [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (09-23-2003 01:24 PM).] |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
You don't need me to tell you how wonderful this is, or the thoughts that it brought to my mind. You already know that I believe this to be amazing and the minute I read anything of yours, all my adjectives run away and hide... my words leave and I cannot think of a proper response. But you do not need me to tell you this, because you already know. You know that this, all of this, is the reason I anticipate computer class every day and this is the reason I get very little sleep at times. It is work like yours, Brian, that keeps me reading, keeps me crawling back for more despite the fact that you still appear to be very angry with me (which can be slightly intimidating). Still, you know that you are amazing and that I envy your ablities. I would like to learn from you, if only I could have that opportunity. Until your next.. |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Aww JM... you're a sweetheart. I'm glad I could inspire you to write in metered verse with my same wannabe early-modern-English verb conjugations. Sweet of you, you wonderful, talented woman.  Well I don't know if I can really post every one of my daily sonnets but, rest assured, I'm keeping up with them. I just finished VII and I'm thinking of handing out a few replies and maybe posting that one a bit later. When I'm finished these they'll be organized in a neat little booklet that I might just revise a few thousand times and consider publishing. I'm pretty pumped about this idea. Will keep you posted with my favourites. I only posted this one because Carly said it was her favourite of the five I showed her. Thanks to all of you for your support. Brian Faith is a fine invention When gentlemen can see But microscopes are prudent In an emergency. ~~~Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (09-23-2003 04:11 PM).] |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Brian, you write with such elegant beauty, style and grace as that of nature herself I envy that, but in that I learn from you, and from that I admire you and strive to even attempt to one day write such utter beauty .. . . lady Summer dares unfast her robe; you breathe life into the language Suzie xxoo |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
There were lines that rang out but as I continued it became inconceivable for me to single any of them out here. All pieces of a glorious whole, a symphony of words, and you are a master composer. Beats a 'Wow.." no? and did i actually say glorious whole? lmao |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I liked this one, but not as much as Sonnet VII. Good use of personification and allusion. 2+2=5 for sufficiently large values of 2 |
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