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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2003-09-19 01:46 AM

favor
in the folded note
acceptance
in the knowing eye
saddleshoes
in scuff of news
as the blonde girl
twirls her hair
smacking gum
in such a way
she would
never
be suspect...

daggers
underneath mink lash--
"Do this-bitch--
or you will die..."
liquid blue
tranquility
and perfect socks
below the knee
like stockings
for a nurse
or whore--
time
will tell
the difference.

If you need
and if you must
test this woman
to be sure--
let her
take your temperature:

(tell me if you smile?)

Let me
(thank you in advance)

for the laugh--
(it's been awhile)

favor
in the folded note
acceptance
in the knowing eye.

[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-19-2003 02:25 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-09-19 08:36 AM

saddleshoes
in scuff of news
as the blonde girl
twirls her hair
smacking gum
in such a way
she would
never
be suspect...

~*~

...says Peggy Sue

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-09-21 02:50 AM

Thank you Kari...

Oh well.

You know what they say--toss it up the flagpole and see if anybody salutes...

grins and hugs you.

Maybe next season...

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

3 posted 2003-09-23 02:28 AM

You say you have problems with meter but so much of this just flows easily... I read it happily and had to stop my scanning from time to time to remind myself what the poem is actually about. I very much love your style and subject matter, your wisdom always just glows in your writing, this is no exception.

Love ya,
Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-09-24 12:42 PM

K - you always bring me RIGHT there
I love that
you allow me to become
no, to see what you are feeling
to see what you are seeing
I thank you for this gift
(grinning to self on own
twisted interpretation)
*smile*
xxoo

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

5 posted 2003-09-24 10:21 PM

we who have just read, salute you

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