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Poetic Haven

To be a storm

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2003-09-05 01:13 PM

I love a storm.
If I could,
I'd grasp the graying clouds
and hoist myself into the sky.

Soaked by rain,
my hair wind-tossed,
I'd feel a certain thrill
when lightning hit the hill.

I'd run across all the clouds
within my reach, pulling small ones
to the larger, building them
into a monster --

until they must collide in anger.
Oh, to feel the thunder rumble
to the point where I was thunder,
crashing down dark constellations.

Bright fingers would pierce the sky.
Horizons clotted with my stormshapes.
I'd build them, burst them, tumble down,
until the sunlight burned me off.

Then I'd lay,
along the ground,
slick as leaves,
lost in sound.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-09-05 03:14 PM

slick as leaves...

imagery is up to par here, ya know

sometimes to me, the leaves looked like leeches after a storm, though I can't see the relevance of that..

I'm shutting up now,
great write.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

2 posted 2003-09-05 04:13 PM

Thanks, Karou. Out here in California, it's hard to remember the rain, sometimes.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

3 posted 2003-09-05 08:44 PM

I love the rain..so obviously I guess I like this as well?? plus I hear the wet look is in

but this:

Then I'd lay,
along the ground,
slick as leaves,
lost in sound.

Just does something to me...I don't know I'm weird kind of like a lullaby soothing thing going on for me..made me yawn...and relax

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